So, I was talking to my coworkers about the whole Joe situation from this weekend. And, I've talked to my friends and one of my brothers. Everyone basically thinks I shouldn't be with Joe. Or, at the very least, I should quit hanging out with his friends to avoid making things weird with Rich.
I mean, Rich is a nice guy. But, I knew before Joe and I started dating that he liked me. I chose Joe. I'll still choose Joe. Nothing against Rich. I know he'd treat me well and do everything for me. But, I just don't return his feelings. I mean, he was telling me about how he liked me so much while he is dating some other girl.
I know why everyone says I shouldn't be with Joe. I see it. I really do. But, I love him. And I know that can't be enough of a reason and it sounds childish even to my ears. But, I want to help him be happy. He cares about me and does all that he can for me the best way that he can. It's hard on him, too. His life is more messed up than mine. Not to make excuses, because there is no excuse for the way he's treated me. BUt, I can just understand is all.
It probably doesn't help that he's my first love. First guy I've had sex with and opened myself up to wholeheartedly. It just seems a waste to let it all go because we have a few rough patches. I'm hoping therapy with help with everything. But, this is really his last chance. My friends are all holding me to it.
And after everything that transpired this weekend, I was going to quit texting him and see if contacts me first, which he did. Last night he asked me how I was doing and that I didn't seem to be ok. But, how does he expect me to be okay after everything I was told this weekend. He had texted me Sunday about he was upset about everything. Not at me, but at Rich for making up some of the stuff he did and the way he went about telling me what he did. But, I should be the one who's upset the most, right? I mean, he hid some important info from me. But, he did realize that I am the one who should be mad, because he gave me an out, saying if I didn't want to talk or see him again, he'd understand.
Then he told me when we hang out again that I'll probably get a 'talking to' or be talked about. And I know that'll happen. But, I'll just be honest and open about everything. I still want to be friends with Richard. But, Joe comes first, and he has to understand that. But, I had talked to Rich via text the night before and told him Joe and I had talked things out and were doing ok, and he actually seemed ok with it. Of course, it's hard to tell via text what a person is really feeling.
The one good thing in this whole situation is that Joe, who doesn't get jealous, is really bothered by the fact that Rich contacted me again the other night and that he's said he likes me. So, I'm hoping he'll cherish me more. WE seem to be doing better and communicating more now.
He texted me this morning to ask how I was doing since I found out about my gma's death and asked if there's anything he could do. I'm going to go to bowling with the guys (Rich, Joe, their other roommate, Rich's brother in law, and another friend-who I don't know if he knows everything that happened this weekend.) tonight, like I do every week, and hope it'll take my mind off of things. I just think it's going to be weird because all of us are going to have to act like nothing happened. Kinda nervous on how to act.
Then, last night, I'm talking to Flynn, this guy I met at my cousin's wedding in November who took such good care of me while I was drunk off my ass. HE really liked me (Still does, I think). We texted a lot in November, and then in December and January, we just texted sporadically to each other. But lately, we've been texting a lot again. And last night (he was drunk) he texts me and asks what I was thinking. I was like, nothing much, you? And he's just like never mind. SO, I'm like, be honest and just say it. He then proceeds to tell me that there's this other side of him I've never seen that he can't really explain, I just need to see it by hanging out with him. And he wouldn't elaborate and kept apologizing for bringing it up. He was also telling me how nice I am and how he likes who I am and how it would be nice for him to have me to come home to....
My life is this soap opera, and I feel like someone should write a screenplay on this and turn it into a show or movie. Dear lord.
