I need help. I don't know what to do. What to feel right now.
I'm not sure what I've all said lately about Joe and our problems. I'll kind of summarize.
In Vegas, he was telling me how we have nothing in common other than liking each other, and he wasn't sure that was enough. Then he was saying how I don't really know him. When I asked him why he said that, he was just like, because I'm not sure you do. So, he won't really elaborate on either.
So, when I got back from Vegas, Joe picked us up and dropped me off first, and before yesterday, that was all I saw of him since I got back from Vegas. I wanted to hang out with him Saturday night, but he had a guys night, which was fine. Not a big deal, but then when he was texting me about wanting to hurt himself and whatever, I wanted to come over, and he asked what the difference me being there would make. So, I dropped it and went to bed. But, then I wanted to see him sunday, and he was hanging out with Annie, the girl who is in love with him. That does bother me. Not because of who he was hanging out, but because he didn't make any effort to see me when I got back. It's like he never even missed me.
Then, last night, I'm driving the two of us back to his place, and we're talking about how we have nothing in common. And I'm saying yes we do, sports, our views on equality, video games, things like that. I take interest in everything he does. And he sees that, but he was saying that he has to know everything. If he sees something he doesn't know about or understand, he'll go read up on it so he can understand it. He was saying that I'm so inexperienced with the world and he's experienced so much more than me. So, I don't have a viewpoint on a lot of things.
What this made me think was that he feels like he's so much smarter than me and he's getting annoyed of either explaining everything to me or he's annoyed I can't keep up. Of course, he didn't say that, but that's just how I'm taking it. It's actually my biggest insecurity. I feel like everyone is smarter and more experienced in everything than I am. Always have. It's never been a problem before, though.
And he was like, most of the time, I find it endearing and refreshing. So I asked what the problem was, and he was just saying that so we knew about the rift between us. Well, hello! Of course I knew about it. I knew about it from before we started seeing each other.
He kept telling me to forget he said anything because he was drunk, and I replied with drunk words are sober thoughts. But, he didn't respond.
We didn't really know what to say after that, so we just went into the apartment. But, I was really upset about it. I told everyone at work and all my friends and everyone is saying to dump him. Loving me should be enough. And everyone has different experiences from everyone else, and if it isn't a problem, I don't understand what he's getting at.
I'm sending him a text right now telling him I need to know that he wants to be with me. I need to know if what we were talking about last night will be a problem. He's obviously been thinking about it for awhile, and he can't say he was saying it just because he was drunk because if it wasn't a problem, he wouldn't have brought it up. I love him, and that's enough for me to stay, but I don't know if he feels the same. Then I'm gonna ask if he even missed me while I was gone because he didn't seem to really want to see me. I'm just really confused about where we stand.
