But now I'm just sad.
Joe finally texted back like a half an hour after I sent the last text it said: Sorry you're freaking out ... I don't know what to tell you... I can't deal with this anymore.
And I got really upset because this isn't just affecting Joe. Doesn't he see how hearing this shit affects me? I told him I didn't believe it, that I trusted him with my whole heart. But, it's not easy being told by someone else that you're being used. I've had two previous bfs do that to me, and it sucks.
I sent him a text after that that apologized for overreacting, that I was upset I let Richard get to me.
and he just says ok
He never confirms or denies it. But, I needed him to confirm that he wasn't going out with Annie. So, I pressed him for it.
And he says: I'm not dating anyone, and now I would like to be alone for awhile.
I said sorry, never should have brought it up. Please don't hate me.
And his response was a long one: I'm so very sick of this shit... annie told me a couple weeks ago that she wanted to go on one fucking date with her and that I owed it to our years of friendship... I told her I'd never be what she wanted but if it would make her feel better... went on the date... didn't go on another one... worked exactly as I said it would... wasn't really all that important in the dating scheme because nothing happened... rumors about now I guesss... fuck Rich for saying anything and starting shit that has no truth in reality... why you insist on talking to people about all this stuff is not really my business but seems to lead to unwarranted anxiety and anger over and over... I don't have the ability to deal with this anymore... overwhelmed with life as it is. Not exactly sure how I've ever 'used' you or why I'm the same as your other bfs have been... if you choose to believe that I get it...I've been fucked over too... but you don't have to date me anymore so you can find another situation where someone will be better.
And I responded with I don't insist on it. I was siting at home minding my own business when Rich texted me. It was one of the first things he said. Not like I asked him if there were any rumors he'd love to start. I know you are hurting and going through enough shit. I didn't mean to add more. But, I wanted to be honest with you right up front rather than keep it all in. I figured you had a right to know what he was saying. And I never said you DID use me or treated me like my exs, I just said the situations were similar, only with them, it ended up being true. I told you I didn't believe any of it.
He says: Believe it... don't belive it... it doesn't matter. and I don't care what Rich says... I haven't said shit to him about any of my personal life in 4 fucking years so what the fuck would he know
I said: It matters to me and it matters to me what you think I believe. I know you're pissed at me. But I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you.
He said ok have a good night.
And just to be a little shit, I said not likely but thanks.
And he says: It is just an expression... Rich will get what he fucking wants... I will be entirely alone... you and him can date or whatever... I'm just so done with this bullshit.
I replied: What Rich wants is me... But he's not gonna get me. I'm not interested. I am NOT gonna fucking date Rich. And I already told him I wasn't interested. Not sure what else I can do. I feel super shitty now though because I feel like things were going ok for us, and I feel like I just fucked everything up. But don't mind me. You have a good night. And he stopped responding.
God I feel like the stupidest person in the world. I fucked up so badly and now things might never be right between Joe and I again. We were doing so well. I'm just gonna go take a shower and cry.
