For the past week, I have been waiting for Joe to text me. I had promised myself I would not text him first. If he wanted to see me, I wasn’t going to make it easy for him. So, i waited. And waited. He texted me while I was home with my family to tell me he hoped everything was going well. And I responded saying Likewise, but i was beginning to wonder when I’d hear from you again. And he never replied. so, I went on with life.
It was easier than I thought it would be. Usually when I play this game with him, I break down and text him first because I have this need to talk to him. But, I didn’t really have that this time. I mean, yes, I wanted to talk to, but I didn’t have that itch that drives me insane until I can’t stand it a moment longer and I find myself breaking first. But this time, I surrounded myself with my friends and kept myself busy, so it wasn’t as hard.
Yesterday was Joe’s birthday, and so I allotted myself a text to say happy birthday. Actually, I did it twice. Once at midnight and once later at like 9:30 at night. He said thanks to the first one and said he missed me to the last one. We texted on and off for over 3 hours. He kept saying he wanted to see me but didn’t ever invite me out. And I wasn’t going to fawn all over him like I usually do and suggest meeting him. No, if he wanted to see me, he’d have to work for it and ask me on his own.
And eventually he did. At 1 in the morning. He asked me to come pick him up and for me to bring my new toy that I had bought. So, i did. When he got in the car, he put his hand on my head and caressed my scalp before he dropped his hand to my shoulder and just left it there until we got to his apartment. I still get tingly and feel a fire under my skin wherever he touches. He’s the only one that can touch me anywhere and I feel that way. I don’t even know how to describe it. We just feel right together.
Now we’re home, and he was so gentle and just held me, feeling me again. It has been a week and a half since he’d seen me. He pulled me back and asked if I wanted to live with him, and I said yes, but I couldn’t really fathom that he had even said that. I asked him about it this morning if he remembers saying it, and he doesn’t. So, he didn’t really mean it. Probably thought it would be a cool idea but wouldn’t want to go through with it or something.
Last night, we tried anal for the first time between us, but if you remember, I had tried it when I was forced into it. So, I had hoped that if I did it willfully, I would like it more. But, I don’t. Not my thing. Just made me feel like I had to poop. He never let himself finish last night and so this morning when I got up, he pulled me back down and we had morning sex, which was super amazing except it made me 5 minutes late for work.
Last night he had made me promise to meet him on my lunch break, but when I texted him about it this morning, he said he was leaving-had things to do. Which was fine, but I had expected that. He always makes me promise to do something the next day and then the next day he either forgets about it or has something going on and we never do it.
But, I asked him about the moving in with him thing, and he said he didn't remember, so now, I sent him a text basically asking where we’re going, what we’re doing, what his stance on us is right now. He still hasn’t responded. I hope he does so soon.
But, i wanted you guys to know that I’m doing something about it, I’m talking to him, and we’re hopefully going to get this figured out.
