I know you are probably getting sick of listening to my talk about Joe. Especially since one day it’s sad and depressing and the next it’s all happy and rainbow filled.
But last night, I was filled with such happiness, I can’t not share.
He’d been kind of quiet all weekend, but he was out of town for a golf tournament. And it didn’t go well. So, I texted him last night telling him I wanted to see him. I missed him. And he said he hoped to see me soon and he missed me as well.
Well, he invited me down to Woody’s, the bar we always go to, and we played vidlot like we always do. We were playing trivia, and he always wins. I get maybe two questions on my own without his help. It was funny because one of my questions was “What day does America celebrate its independance day?” I got that one really easily. Then we went to word scrambles, which I suck so badly at. I basically just sit there and watch him go. I don’t do well in seeing the bigger picture of things like that. But, I got one of the words before he did! It was ‘nurture’. I was so happy from getting that one freaking word. And, he was impressed I’d gotten it before him.
We left, and as we got in my car, he hugs me, holds me close, and doesn’t let go for a very long time. I always just feel so wonderful when he holds me. We finally get back to his apartment, and he’s telling me to get Grand Theft Auto 5, which as soon as work is done, I’m going to go get it. and, he was asking what I did that weekend, and i told him I hung out with friends, and he’s like, “No lesbian showers? I thought that was your thing now?” With this big, huge grin on his face. I think he likes that there’s this whole other side to me he’s never seen because I’m still discovering it myself.
We get inside and into his room, and before I have a chance to do anything, he’s already taken off his shirt and is holding me, rubbing my back, hugging me so tightly. He complimented my shirt that I was wearing, which made me happy because I just bought it. I don’t recall him ever having complimented an outfit of mine before. Pretty sure we just stood there holding and feeling each other for ten minutes. It felt like such a long time.
Then he went to the bathroom, and when he comes back, we quickly get undressed and are in bed holding each other now, just cuddling and touching. Our hands roaming. He likes to make me talk dirty because i don’t normally say those kinds of words. Ever. It took me until I was 20 to be able to say ‘penis’ out loud without feeling weird about it. But, he was really into it, enjoying it more than usual. He was so attentive to what I wanted. I just got everything I wanted out of it.
We had fun sex where we’re laughing and giggling and just having fun with each other. It’s the best kind of sex there is. He told me he loved me a lot and that he loved it when I stayed with him. He told me that he hates everyone. Never wants to be around people. All except me. I’m the one exception. I told him that he makes me so happy and that I love him so much, and he kept asking me why? And I don’t really know why. It just worked out that way. I told him he’s the only person I’ve ever loved, and he asked why him.
One of the biggest reasons is that he helped me get out of the biggest insecurity of my life. My body image issue that I had. He kind of looked at me funny. And i had to explain that growing up, I was told I was fat and too short. And that I’m used to guys only ever telling me what I want to hear just to get in my pants, and nothing ever felt right with them. Not like it does with Joe. And he got upset that I had grown up thinking I wasn’t beautiful. He assured me I wasn’t fat nor was I too short. He said I was funny and fun to be around. He jokingly said he was trying to get into my pants, but he never tells me things he thinks I want to hear. And, I believe that to be the truth.
i know he doesn’t cater to anyone. He doesn’t tell people what they want to hear. And that’s why I know I can believe him when he says I’m beautiful, cute, and sexy. We talked about this all while we were so intertwined you could hardly tell where one of us began and the other ended. I love holding him and him holding me in that way.
We hadn’t had a talk like that in a long time, and I really missed that.
At one point, he was laying on top of me, and he wanted to sleep, but I didn’t. I wanted to keep going, but he knew i had to get up in 4 hours and wanted me to get some sleep. I wanted to say fuck it and keep going. But, he kept trying to get up, and I just wrapped my legs around him and told him I didn’t want him to leave, but then I didn’t want to hurt him, so I let him get up. And when he came back, I just spooned him and fell asleep with him in my arms.
It was such a perfect night. I’m still thinking about it!
