I hope everyone is having a wonderful week! I haven’t been on much lately. Been busy.
Remember how I had talked about buying a house? Well, I’m going to put that on hold for a bit so i can save up some more money for the down payment. I used a lot of my money for my car. And I have it really cheap right now so it’d be easier for me to save up. At the end of the summer, I’m gonna see where I’m at because I’ll have to find a new place anyway since my roommate’s lease will be up. And i have no idea if she’s gonna want to room with me again. And I’m not sure I’d want to room with her again.
Things just aren’t the same between us, and I’m scared they never will. She’s been ignoring me for a few weeks. And I had asked her nearly every day for a full week if she was mad at me, what was going on, what we could change, if it was something I was doing, and she wouldn’t ignore me. If I asked her any other kind of question, she’d respond. So I basically cornered her in my room one day to go over utilities (Utilities were insanely high. Like, $200 more than I have ever paid in my life, and I just wanted to see how much everything was so that I could compare. That was it. And she took it as I didn’t trust her telling me how much it really was), and I asked her what was going on, and she said she thought I was mad at her for always hanging around with her new boyfriend. I corrected her saying I was frustrated about it, but not mad (I mean, I live with her, and I see her less often than when we weren’t living together. She has been home 3 times in the last 30 days. And only one of those times slept in her room alone. So she’s basically only been home once. Once!). And she was saying that because I wanted to see how much utilities actually were that I was insinuating that she was a liar even though I have a right to know what I’m paying for. I asked her why she never said anything, why she wouldn’t just tell me what was going on, and she said because it didn’t matter, that nothing was going to change- they are going to spend the rest of their lives together. What does that translate to? It means she picked her boyfriend over me. Again. She has been dating this guy less than 2 months.
And I have to admit that hurt. A lot. I mean, she’s my best friend. Has known me for five years, and she is choosing some guy who reminds me a lot of Joe, whom my roommate doesn’t like, but it’s okay because he’s her boyfriend, over me. She didn’t value our friendship enough to want to salvage it and make things better between us. She didn’t want to talk to me; she only did it because I made her. And the whole her thinking that I thought she lied to me about utilities pissed me off, too. I mean, she should know me better than to think I would think so poorly of her. I have never done that before, so why would I start now?
did I mention that her boyfriend is living with us? Because he is. He moved in last Wednesday. Was I asked? No. Is he on the lease? No. So instead of just me living there kinda illegally, there is now two of us we have to hide from her landlord. Super smart, right? It just makes me upset because we are always talking about how the place is half mine even if my name isn’t on the lease, and she didn’t even ask me if it was okay that he stay here. I mean, he got evicted from his old place- (although I’m still confused about that because apparently the roommate kicked him out not the landlord which isn’t an eviction. And anyway, the roommate didn’t remember kicking him out, so he’d technically have a place to live again if he really wanted) Does he have no other friends he can crash with? By him living with us, my roommate has to drive him EVERYWHERE. Literally, everywhere. The dude is 35 and doesn’t have a car.
I hate this whole situation. I feel like a third wheel in my own house. I don’t want to be there. I hate being there. I hate everything about the guy. And frankly, my roommate is starting to turn me off from her. By a lot. Last night, I went down into the kitchen, the boyfriend was making supper. Didn’t offer me anything, so I started making my own food. And I was talking to them just fine, and I went to eat up in my room. Just talking to them is hard enough for me. I wasn’t going to try to eat while stomaching talking to them. And my roommate made the comment that I didn’t have to hide. Psh. Whatever. So I come back down when I was finished eating about an hour later, and then the fucker is like, do you want some salsa or some rice? As an after thought because they were going to throw it away. Like, really dude, you’re in my fucking house, using my fucking food to make the shit you made, and you’re not fucking going to offer me any of it when you initially make it? You’re just going to offer me shit that you’re going to throw away? No. Fuck. No.
But I’m ignoring it hoping he’ll find a new apartment soon. And I can go back to my roommate never being home and me having the whole place to myself again.
I was telling my roommate how I had talked to one of our old college friends, and she’s like, I haven’t texted T or C in a long time. But they could text me, too. Nah, I’m not gonna lose sleep over not talking to them. Really? Fucking really? You don’t care that the only people you hang out with is your boyfriend? And me by default?
And then she was talking about how with her being sick, she’s lost the sense of taste. She can’t taste anything. And she was telling me that when I get sick and lose my taste buds, that’s when she’ll go drinking with me so I can drink all the hardcore liquor shit that I can’t stand. And I’m like, I’d go drinking with you anyway. I can get other drinks. Drinks that I like, and she’s like, it’s just not the same.
What the fuck.
Sigh… On a brighter note, Joe and I went out last night to a bar and drank a little. We had one of the nicest conversations ever. We talked about weird things we ate as children (I ate dog food and he ate glue and a crayon once). We talked about sports, sexism, and work. But we laughed nearly the whole time. It was wonderful. It hasn’t been like that between us in a long time.
Went home over the weekend to watch my brother in a play. He was the lead lost boy. He did an amazing job. So proud of him! (The play was Peter Pan).
And my dad bought a 4 wheeler, and my brother set up a race track in one of our fields. so, I was out on that most of the weekend since it was nice enough out for it.
The weekend was truly wonderful.
So tell me, what weird thing did you eat as a kid?
