So the other day I was considering quitting writing and posting music. Why? Because I have no friends that actually support me, so why even post it if not even my best friends don’t care? This was the first time I have EVER considered stopping since I started. It was admittedly a moment of weakness; in reflections I blame the fact that I’ve been off my anti depressants for a week so things… no matter how miniscule have been getting to me.
Just to clear things up I will never quit music but taking a break every now and then is healthy, especially in my state of mind. I think when I get my anti depressants I’ll start up again other wise I could have another dumb breakdown in faith.
I can’t live without writing music about my life and the things in it so the thought of ever stopping is inconceivable to me. I need an outlet for my emotions… everyone does. I can’t draw anymore so I have nothing left.
It would be nice to have the support of my friends but when they need me I wont be there. I’m sick of always being the fall guy but when I need something as simple as 3 minutes of their life to listen to a person song they can’t do it. They can’t find the time to simply give one of my songs a listen then they don’t need my assistance.
Speaking of depression I hate when people… mostly females claim to be depressed when they are constantly socializing and hanging out with friends. I can barely leave my room, hell I can barely text. Living life is a struggle if you suffer from depression most days you wonder the point of even living. I’m not just saying that there are days… weeks where I don’t want to exist anymore. It’s not an exaggeration, just a fact. In conclusion people crave attention, and want you to tell them how “amazing” they are. Fuck people.
So yeah I was in a deep hole and had no one to help me out, I just had to wait the depression out to really consider what I was saying and thinking. I would rather die than to quit music.
I do think I’m going to take a little break though so I can return to form a little bit. I’m a solo artist so it’s hard when you catch hate and have no one but your bi-polar self to pick you back up.
I’m hoping to change style a little bit to change things up. I probably won’t but it would be nice to express myself more lyrically. That’s what I’m hoping for most of all.
I’m sick of myself.
Love,
Steven
(You always have me, I'm here for you.)
Here are some free tunes!
A Song For Emma Watson. (Acoustic) (Must have a Twitter account):
Get my song A Song For Emma Watson. (Acoustic) for FREE in exchange for just one tweet!
Technology huh:
http://trkurl.com/finKDO
Heart Of A Villain (Old Demo):
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=ZLB518J0
