Hey everyone! It's been a whole month since a personal post was made. Lots of change has been the theme of my life this year and I feel that I'm transitioning between old and new.
Summer overall has been, challenging. BUT there have been many experiences that made it special and wonderful too. Like meeting Yvette, having Rashid, another new friend of mine move back to the city and learning more about myself. No doubt however I still feel like I've been beaten up by life through the tough parts which lead me to fall into a deep depression about 2-3 weekends ago.
It was the worst I've felt in months but I've recovered quickly and in that time frame I decided to cut down my internet time drastically. The facebook, forums, sites and a lot of the places I frequent at where not helping me and made me feel worst. I decided to keep a few heart felt places and past times and to take a break from the rest. It's just that I've been feeling too open and I've been spreading myself way too thin. A lot of my goals and dreams I feel are not valid in my life anymore. I want something different even if I don't know what they are. And for the first time in a long time I have no idea where I'm going in life. I have my spiritual career which I love and will always evolve and keep going, but it's not my dream like The Candy Sanctuary was. TCS was something I really wanted and I just feel like striving for it as a life long dream no longer fits in my life. I explained all this before so I won't go too far in it again haha.
It's kinda hard to explain in words since a lot of it is emotional rather then "facts" but everything I knew about myself and life is drastically changing in ways I didn't think possible. A new path is opening up to me and I have no idea what it is, or what it contains. The only things I know I really want to do and I have to really lean on is that I "want to make people happy" and some type of humanitarian effort. Something I never really had as a dream (or thought would be my dream) since all of my goals is me achieving some type of material status (having a big business and etc), even if it involved making people feel good in general. All this have thrown me in a tail spin where I feel good one minute and inferior the next. It's hard to keep up with everything when I'm going through so much inside, like a clash of ideals. I know that things will work out but the road there is very bumpy, emotionally especially.
Besides that topic itself, I've been on my hiatus for a few weeks now and it helped a lot. I've been hanging out with friends, playing video games and doing things outside the computer a lot more lately. It helps me think outside the box and beyond just my business and what I use to want. Now I'm more able to do the things that I want to do than the things I feel like I should do. In odd ways, even if I don't feel it in the moment, things are working out. I'm creating a new kinds of readings with colors and angels that I know will be great for the people that want them. I've continued writing a blog post on a topic that I feel passionate about, I stopped at 10 pages even though I had so much to say haha! I'm also focusing more on myself and my talents than on the outside. Focusing on my talents to bring the change I feel and want in this world will surely help me find my way.
So in turn it's all working out but I'm emotionally unstable still. I also forgot to mention my new theme. In light of all this change, I wanted to make a total theme makeover to fit how I felt inside, including the world name, Undiscovered Worlds. I wanted a fall yet homely theme and the background really makes it all come together so I'm happy with it! I hope you all are doing well yourselves! I'm sure to post new works soon since I'm loving making e-cards!
Take care everyone!
