“Hey, Suino, are you sure you’re okay?”
Gira had asked me the same question for what seemed like the bazillionth time today, and I was getting tired of it. I figured she had to stop asking sooner or later, but no...
“Yes, okay? Just please stop annoying me about it, alright? I just need time to think.”
She gave me one of those looks that said, “Fine, see if I care” but it didn’t last long. Soon she was staring at me like usual, making absolutely sure I was completely alright. Of course I was fine... well, physically I was. I wasn’t too sure about mentally or emotionally at the moment. You see, strange things had been happening to me about a week ago and I kept acting weird. And I mean super dorkified embarrassingly weird, if you get what I mean. Er... well, I guess you wouldn’t, really. Okay, I’ll explain later so I can sort this out.
Gira was still staring at me until I said to her, “Gira, would you knock it off? You’re making me feel like a freak.”
She stopped and blinked. “Sorry, but it’s just so weird. I mean, it’s like you’re a whole new brand of tomboy. Or you’re just a boy to begin with.”
“Pssh, last time I checked, I was of the estrogen variety.”
Gira rolled her eyes at my smart mouth and continued, “There you go again, acting like a know-it-all guy. Suino, something’s up with you. It’s like you’ve got a girl side and a boy side. Y’know, like two souls in one body or something.”
It was my turn to roll my eyes. “Yeah right, that’s impossible. You read too many fantasy books. Look, I gotta turn here to get home, okay? I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
I turned sharply to my right and was going down the sidewalk when Gira called, “You can call me anytime, alright?” I waved my hand back to her to let her know I heard while I was still facing to the right. I didn’t think I’d take her up on that offer. I needed to straighten this out on my own.
I plunked my bag onto my bed and fell over on it with an “oof!” I rolled over, got my pillow and propped my head up. I’m gonna need some pain reliever for my head after I finish thinking about this big problem. Alright, so for those of you who are kind of confused right now, (Which would probably be every one of you readers) I’ve been having some, uh... awkward tomboy moments over the past week. And I’m not talking about picking up bugs and running around causing a mess. I mean really acting like a guy to the point where the rational thinking of a girl was overruled by my obnoxious guy instincts. I was brought up to be very polite and courteous, not loud and annoying. I can’t control those instincts either, and it just happens. It’s so unlike me it’s not even funny.
Gira thinks I’m a freak now, and the rest of my friends are just weirded out by it. Okay, Gira doesn’t think I’m a freak, so to speak, but just not my normal self. At school, during lunch, I even tried to mess with Gira and tease her like any guy would. And I brought up the worst possible subject ever, which was how flat-chested she was. It was just teasing, nothing serious, but she started to freak out and that’s when I snapped out of it. I thought for sure she was gonna smack me like she did when that stupid jock loser the week before tried to “feel” her, but she just stared at me in shock.
Just today I had a craving to play football all of a sudden a little bit after school ended. And when the guys who were playing finally let me join after all the yelling I did, I tackled almost all of the opposite team’s players. Last time I checked, I was as weak as anything and didn’t play sports. It was really out of the ordinary for me.
So, anyway, back to me on my bed.
I thought for a long while and came to the conclusion that I was either a hard core tomboy or I was flitting in between genders. But that isn’t possible! It couldn’t be! I rolled over on my bed some more, still thinking. Maybe Gira was kind of right. I don’t think I have two souls in me, but it might be just two separate personalities. Yeah, that’s it. I think. I closed my eyes to think some more.
Before I knew it I had drifted off into sleep and was dreaming. Of course, it was one of those stereotypical silent dreams where nobody talked and everything went slower than necessary. I was walking down a dark, hall-like space and I couldn’t even hear my feet touching the ground. I couldn’t see what was ahead or in back of me, but there was light around me. It was as if I was a human flashlight, glowing and walking ahead in a pitch black night. Then suddenly, a voice came to me that sounded a little creepy since it sounded almost emotionless. It had been so quiet that the voice almost woke me up as it reverberated against the inside of my head. It spoke to me as if it was sorry for something and said, “Sometimes, people change into things and are something they’re not meant to be.”
And with that, I woke up with a start and sat up in my bed while noticing I was still wearing my clothes and that the lights were still on in my room. My breath was streaming out of my mouth in a panicked jet stream. Beads of sweat were running down my neck and I was steaming hot. I turned my fan on, got into my pajamas and stood in front of my fan, closing my eyes. Then, I noticed my whole body was shaking in the aftermath of that weird dream. No, that wasn’t a dream, that was definitely a nightmare. I opened my eyes for a moment. Well, okay, maybe a premonition or something. Do those even exist? Ah geez, I’m getting off-topic ‘cause my mind is racing. Again.
I really did try to fall asleep that night, but that anonymous voice kept haunting me. It was almost like I could recognize it, but the owner of the voice always escaped me. I had dreams (Or nightmares, which I wasn’t too sure of) on and off the whole night. Bits and pieces of what seemed like a scattered movie played across the inside of my eyelids, and what I saw shocked me.
There was a teen boy with blond hair and strikingly silver eyes sitting on a front porch, minding his own business, until it looked like something had shocked him. He rolled down the steps and onto the ground, writhing in pain. It sounded like he kept crying out to someone, but I couldn’t tell who. A few adults, who I guessed were his neighbors, had heard him and came running over to him. They looked him over for a second and then continued with whatever the heck they were doing. The teenager was still in pain when they walked away. The sight of him in pain actually made me struggle in pain too, and it was awful. The white-hot intensity of a sudden burning throughout my body made me feel like I was going to die, right there, in my bed.
Then the scene switched to him in his room having the same seizure thing. His parents didn’t come to help him, but for some reason, I felt he had no parents to come to him in the first place. I felt like crying out in the same way he did, but I kept my mouth shut. My parents could never know about this experience, not even if this pain killed me in the end. Different scenes came into my nightmare, but although they were all at different places, the initial scene was the same. This teen kept having the seizures everywhere I saw him. Finally, after so many scenes of him in pain flashing quickly in my nightmare for what seemed like forever, the pain I felt abruptly stopped. I felt like I was going to throw up. But I couldn’t wake up because I had to finish this nightmare thing. I needed to know why the anguish had ceased. The answer came to me when I saw the boy on the floor of his room, still and silent. He didn’t breathe, he couldn’t move, and I couldn’t watch anymore. An ominous looking coffin was the last thing I saw.
