Sorry for complaining so much, everyone. -_- I just can't take it anymore...Squeechan already knows everything, so...yeah...I've gotta tell you guys, too. You guys are great friends, so...I can't keep any secrets.
((sigh))
A lot of things have been happening to me. Not "Rishi", but the real me. Things have been happening with "Rishi" too, but I'll get to that later.
For some reason, I've been crying a lot lately. I thought that I'd gotten better at expressing myself without being childish, but I guess not. I cried when I couldn't take Chemistry any more. I cried when I couldn't find my brother at his school when I went to pick him up.
And, most of all, I cried after slapping one my best guy friends/ex-boyfriend, "Lan".
I was being myself--which is a lot like "Rishi", by the way--and finally, when we got off the bus (because he has no backbone and didn't want anyone to hear him) he told me to stop trying to push him back to me.
WHAT THE CRAP.
He told me that the time when I used to say I loved him was over, and that he doesn't love me, and never will again.
So I replied [You think...the time I've been spending with you...is because I wanted you back?
Then I slapped him and walked away.
IN THE RAIN.
Goddammit, it's so cliche.
I looked back at him and yelled 'SORRY' and just stared up at the rain. When I looked back, he was gone. I stared up at the rain again and tried really really hard not to cry.
It didn't work.
So I walked home, smiled at my mom and went downstairs to contemplate what I just had done.
I wasn't hungry for dinner.
Squeechan--all of my friends, for that matter--were not home. Not that Squeechan is my only friend--she's just special.
So I've been pretty depressed since Thursday.
Yeah. I'm near tears now. Shit.
I'm going to go look at prettyful art and envy it.
~Rishi, teh genki girl~
