"Works a bother" said I in my padded lifeguard chair with my ipod blasting (Wolfmother - Joker And The Thief, to all you wondering of my music tastes). Taking a sip of my margarita. i paused the music to yell at a few kids.
"HEY! NO M60's IN THE POOL!, YOU GO TO THE LOBBY BATHROOMS TO DO THAT!"
(Hey it's not me doing it, so i don't have to pay for it ^.^)
That taken care of, and alibis quickly made, I laid back and sighed. This is what life should be like, nothing could spoil the moment.
It was for real this time, though I didn't get my a private bar the pool (didn't fit in the plans, or so I was told) There was a fairly decent one for the public, and the bartender was named Fred. I can't stress to you how important it is for his name to be Fred, people named Fred a well know in the secret world of bartenders to be incredibly wise and are the true leader of the bartenders world. At least, that’s what the flying monkeys tell me.
"Hey Fred, can a refill on my drink here?" I yelled.
"Sure you can, by the way my name is George".
"Whatever, Fred".
You see that true words to live by right there. Now continuing with my duties... what time is it? ah yes 12:30. time for a change in lifeguard.
Lighting a waterproof M60 I yelled out "ADULT SWIM!!!" and lugged that sucker into the pool.
BOOM!!
The mark of a great Lifeguard is not how fast he swims but by how fast he can clear a pool. Timing it everyone was out in 0:36:28. I sure was a good lifeguard.
Again, that’s just what to the flying monkeys tell me.