hi peasants oh my gosh finally i have internet i was staying at my cousins house for the week and their internet wasn't working so i had a hard time finding amusement. anyway i'm starting school next month and i have finally come to terms with my irrational fear of school i mean as long as i stop and become serious i can finally figure out what i want you know? so i've decided after many days and hours thinking that i should focus on my studies with two more years of high school left i don't have time to be hesitant and worry about stupid things like friends and where i'm sitting during lunch anyway my sister and i have finally become good friends before i was hesitant to trust her with anything after all the crap that happened between us in the past so we're friends now i still don't trust her with my secrets but we're starting to have conversations and stuff very short and very very awkward conversations but we're talking at least that's better than nothing but we're getting there i mean there is still alot i don't know about her the only thing i know about her right now is that she's a twitter fanatic and her birthday is june first. weirdly enough she knows a lot about me since i began the habit of talking out loud to myself since me and her are the only girls in my seven member home so since there was no one to talk to i talked to my self about my day one thing nobody knows about me is that i really hate diaries because anyone can find and use it against for me everyone is an enemy regardless of blood relation or not so i like to say my stuff out loud to myself and forget about it and someone happens to hear i just shrug my shoulders and say "whatever happens happens fate must have it out for me" that may be something weird to say for some people but it makes me feel safe without that i would be a nervous wreck well anyway i have to go for tonight good night~!