This is a big day today seriously
I'm going to see my dad today
I haven't seen him in about 2 years
Well I have seen him like two or three times but I never talk to him.
Its because my mom filed a restraining order against him in my senior year.
....Its a long story but in a nutshell
Dad cheated on mom
Mom was torn but try to fix this but she would yell and scream at my soft spoken a lot
then...dad went ballistic
dad tore up the basement, breaking things and dumping his fish tanks
that was one my scariest moments of my life
after a day of staying at my brothers with my mom and my sisters we went back home and dad had calmed down
but then I don't know how long after Dad went crazy again I don't know what exactly happened but he had barricaded in the basement and the police came
I think it was worse than the first time because the police were involved
so dad was put into some kind of hospital and stayed there for maybe a week
i can't remember much after that he came back home and they gave him some medicine (to calm him down I guess)
things seemed normal but mom and dad would still argue. But it was mom doing more of the yelling and crying
then one day in August in my senior year something really terrible happened
I remember waking up in the night and I went to the stare case that led to the basement and I saw my mom unconscious on the floor naked it really freaked me out and I tried to help her but then I heard dad sad to come back to bed that he'll take care of it
so I went back to bed and tried to sleep but then I heard mom screaming and yelling. She was saying to dad Keep away from me. I'll kill myself something like that

~please know this I have Autism, I'm high functioning I'm just like any normal person but when I'm experience something very scary that I never faced with I would shut them out as best I could---I used to be like but not anymore-I wished I'd go back and payed more attention to what was happening-maybe I could of stop it...I don't know

so after that night we went down town where that they a lot of shops because mom had a appointment to get her hair done.
I remember that day very clearly most of it. Mom was sitting at the front seat and she was staring at dad. She kept staring at him. It was really scary I didn't know what to do or want to say.
when we got to the hair salon she left something something to dad that she was going to dye her hair black
so after that we were heading back home and mom and dad were having a really bad argument again. then I started screaming. I screamed things I didn't want to say but I wanted to make them stop I don't remember much what happened after that until the next day
dad left home and I never saw him again
dad lived with my brother because he had no where to go and he would work and send money for us because mom didn't have a job
and then mom was saying that dad had raped or abused her
I'm not sure it was true or not, she tell something new that happened to her and dad
they said that she was making it up to get back at dad
its been two years and I haven't heard mom talk about it
she's letting me and my sister to see him today
I'm nervous I'm afraid seeing him and something bad would happened
but i really want to see him I miss him

I can't believe I said all that. I didn't tell any of my RL friends about this mainly because it had just happened and I didn't want to bother them with my family drama, we never talked about stuff like that
I'm getting off because I'm leaving soon
so later