Akira
Devastation was always calling my name. I was not who I wanted to be, I wasn’t the woman I thought I was. Nothing was right anymore, and I wanted to back down, let everything hit me, because nothing would make me better now. My house was gone, my family, now half full, and there was something in me that wanted to make me kill myself, but I only knew that to be the chip in my brain, telling me what was right and what was wrong. It clouded my once, correct memories, but now I have fake.
Fake, which I knew, was in me. I had fake wolf ears, fake wolf tail, fake canine teeth, and fake wolf instincts. I never did once transform into a wolf. I only thought I did, as did everyone else, due to the chip. It told us to be scared, that what we saw around us was real. Nothing was real. I wanted to look around and figure out what was. To stare at the sky and figure if it was fake. Nothing was real. What was real was the piece of machinery in my brain and the fact that everything was now ruined and demolished. My boyfriend was all about his brother, defending him even though he should be hating him, but I knew that wasn’t Griffin. He would be proud to be what his brother designed of him. I however, would loathe his existence for forevermore. He made me what I was, no matter what his intention was, no matter what his original plan might have been. Xenogenesis Laboratories corrupted me and I only felt that what was proper was to kill him.
Griffin wouldn’t have it. He threw me off him and I ran. He told me that he chose me. What had happened to that? I guess that didn’t exist anymore. Skeptical, I am. It’s hard not to be. To not trust anybody was now how I felt towards the whole club. I couldn’t trust one person with my past, my secrets, and the fakeness I felt of myself, my feelings. He was the only one that understood. My family would not.
Where was my mother when I needed her? She could’ve shown up, said ‘hi’, told me the truth about Papa and the truth about me, told me the truth, but she decided not to. My mother was beautiful. I didn’t get my looks from her, I got them from Papa, but my mother was still beautiful. If only I could be told the truth of her abandoning me, putting me off with my brother and my father, and then maybe, I would’ve understood. She lived underground, and she made a society living establishment in the tunnels that she apparently made. She probably did it all by hand. Good for her, not that I really cared. I hated her guts. She would never be a mother to me. She may be a mother to Charlie, but she wouldn’t be to me. How ugly she truly was.
As I sat in the graveyard, this is all I thought of, but nothing of my father. My father just needed to tell me a story, like the ones that he used to give us so that we wouldn’t be scared of the dark. Of course, Charlie had given some fallacy about the darkness and why we shouldn’t be afraid of it, but he was scared the next minute after he said so. Papa told us stories, made up ones, and made them beautifully. He would tell of mythological creatures, and what should scare us, if we should ever encounter them. Funny. I’m one of them now and I’m afraid of myself. Afraid to be what I could be, the weapon that Xenogenesis wanted me to, and to be the woman I could be to all who needed me. To be a girlfriend. To be the forgiving sort, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t her, no matter how I wished I could be.
“Tell me a story, Papa,” I muttered as I heard footsteps running towards me. Footsteps, I knew, that would want to bring me back to the new hellhole I now had to live in.
You could still see the smoke of my house. Most of it was out, and I could see the flashing lights not far off, still putting the last of it out. I wanted to run, murder those who were near it, just so that I could cry in the ruins and ashes of my house. I wanted to murder Cyrus. I wanted to cry and dig myself deep enough down in the ground so that I wouldn’t be able to surface and nobody would hear the dying cries of a woman who once was, who she was. The gods could only mess me up so much, but who said I was religious?
Sebastian, Karin, and Charlie tried to persuade me to come back, so that the chip could be taken out of my brain. I didn’t want that wyvern to hurt me. He didn’t even deserve to be called by his name. I hated but loved him so. There was too much wrong in me, too much depression and insanity, to let him be near me.
I was persuaded back and I heard the wyvern talk to me, to try and get my attention, but nothing worked. I was brought into the bright white room, and I almost breathed a sigh of relief when I saw it was just Charlie and Christina eventually waiting on me to sit in that chair, not Hiraku and his many knives.
Charlie rested a hand upon my shoulder to get my attention and I sat in the chair. An IV was inserted into my wrist and my arms and legs were strapped down, but loosely. I didn’t feel really any more pain after the IV because Charlie was making morphine go into my system through it. Things seemed funny and weird, distorted, as Christina sat in front of me in a chair with a clipboard and I heard a pair of scissors behind me. I started to finally hear beeping noises behind me and it all sounded like a cuckoo clock. Wait. Cuckoo clock? No, not a cuckoo clock... what is it...
I watched my hair fall as Charlie cut it and then after that, I think I passed out. My dreams consisted of Charlie, my mother, Papa, Cyrus, and Griffin. Somehow, the whole club got In there too, and we were all at a table, having tea and biscuits, and laughing, having fun, like old times. Even Griffin was nice and comforting, but everything changed into me seeing Hiraku in front of me, capturing me, torturing me as a child and making sure to put my tail on my body first.
I was the werewolf prototype for years until they perfected me. At some points, my back was messed up and crooked. At some point, I was deaf because the ears didn't work. I was led to believe when I was young that my father wanted this to happen to me, that he had been a part of X.L.. It was all a lie.
I was to be their main, destructive weapon. It didn't matter my conflicting feelings on the inside. I was supposed to be mindless, and well, I felt empty right now. Thought ridden and empty.
I didn’t dream about anything else, not really. Maybe empty, white space where I was drawing on the floor, or I was playing a violin when I was young. I didn’t know I could play the violin, but seeing this memory made me want to. Apparently, Papa loved it whenever I played. I was a little prodigy. I wondered if I could even pick it up again, let alone even find a violin. I could go into town and buy one. That shouldn’t be a problem...
That image faded and the next one I saw was Charlie, smiling down at me with a wet washcloth, making sure my arms were cold and my head was as well. I didn’t understand why he was doing so until I moved my arms upwards towards me and my eyes went wide.
Charlie was able to do it. He took every single porcupine quill off of me. You couldn’t even tell that they had even been there before, though I was quite bloody, hence the cold cloth that kept on going up and down my arms by Charlie’s hand. There were bandages in some places, obviously where the quill didn’t want to give up being in me, but otherwise my arms were fine and so was the rest of my body that was ridden of those hideous porcupine quills.
My brain. The chip.
I immediately sat up and felt my head and my new, short black hair. It was just below my ears, my still, wolf, furry ears. God, it was short. I wasn’t used to this. What I did feel though was a bit more of an empty space near the middle of the back of my head. That must’ve been where Charlie went in and... Okay, thinking about it made me want to puke.
“Sissy? How are you feeling? Are you lightheaded or not remembering me, or anything of the like?” Charlie asked as he looked at me with a smile and I turned towards him and gave a small smile.
“No, I’m fine,” I told him and he smiled.
“I’m happy everything went fine in your surgery. Your vitals stayed still along with your brain waves as I took out the chip. They buried it deep in there, I will say that, but I was able to get it out. There was a bit of a blood loss but that was fixed, no problem,” Charlie beamed and I smiled. He only talked this much with me.
“Thank you, Charlie,” I smiled as I grabbed his hands a little and he looked at me with a curious look.
“What do you remember, Sissy?” He asked and I pursed my lips.
“Everything,” I muttered and I could tell he wanted a specific answer from the way he was looking at me. “I remember playing the violin,” I told him and he laughed.
“That’s wonderful. What else?” He asked and I narrowed my eyes. Fake memories were flooded with new ones and it wasn’t hard to tell the difference between them. There was just a lot to go through.
“Papa’s stories. I remember them as clear as day. They were wonderful stories, but it’s funny how we became them, huh?” I asked and his smile dropped a little.
“Anything about Mom?” Charlie asked and I shook my head.
“Don’t see why I would remember her when she wasn’t involved in my life,” I sighed and he tried to give a smile but it failed.
“Akira, you don’t know her like I do.”
“You’re right, I don’t,” I bluntly put and Charlie sighed and rubbed his black, enlarged eye. Seeing him do this made me wonder how much it bothered him. That’s when I heard a knock on the door and Christina popped her head in through the crack she made.
“Charlie? Wie wird Akira tun?” She asked Charlie and he nodded.
“Sie ist wohlauf. Alles ist in Ordnung mit ihr Gedächtnis, und es gibt keine Schäden an ihrem Gehirn,” Charlie told her and she smiled.
“Gut,” She smiled as she walked in and closed the door behind her. “Ich lerne immer noch deine Mutter viele Durchgänge. Sie kann ziemlich verwirrend, da ich in einem Rutsch durch,” Christina chuckled and i just stared at them as they spoke in German for a little bit. This confused me so much. It was weird to hear Charlie speaking fluently in another language. He never wanted to learn another language, yet here he is, speaking fluent German.
“Akira, you mind doing a few tests for me?” Christina asked and I shook my head and turned to the side of my bed.
She grabbed a chair from a desk that was in the room and sat in front of me. She tested my pain responsiveness by pinching me, testing my knees and my sensitivity by poking a needle on the bottom of my foot. She tested my eyes and how they responded with light, along with my ears and my tail. She even tickled me to make sure I could feel it and laugh. Basically, I was fine. Every part of my brain was responding well and nothing was wrong with it.
“Cool,” Christina with a smile and with that, she left after kissing Charlie. Charlie turned back to me and gave me a soft smile.
“Tell me if you need anything, okay, Sissy?” I nodded and Charlie got up and left me alone, making sure to close the door behind him. I could hear multiple people outside, wondering about me and asking about how I was, but Charlie didn’t give a straight answer.
I just laid down on my bed, and finally went to sleep. It was well deserved.
-~-
The next few days passed in a blur. At times, I walked around the tunnels and just sat in corners. Other times, I just stayed in my room. Most of my time though was spent in the graveyard and at the ruins of my home. Nothing felt right. Everything was ruined...
Griffin tried to talk to me over the days and I didn’t say a word to him, except for him to probably leave me alone, but he didn’t. At some point, I was told by Charlie that Nodin’s father had come and was starting to help out around the tunnels. I was also told by him that Sebastian’s, Karin’s, Griffin’s, and Cyrus’s surgeries had went well and he was going to go to the rest of the members next.
Apparently, when it came to Sebastian’s surgery, he had the sensors in his teeth removed so that he wouldn’t have to suck blood anymore, or feel that need to have to kill humans. Now, he was pretty much normal, except he had a small device attached to him that gave him blood every few hours to keep him going. Karin looked like she was back to normal as well. She had wanted to keep the bunny ears and tail, but she just wanted to look like herself again.
Griffin apparently had his red scales removed and that was about it for his surgery besides his chip. Cyrus had his chip removed while his metal wings were being clipped. During this time, he was heavily induced with drugs, so he didn’t wake up after the surgery. In fact, he was still sleeping, from what he told me. He was going to go to Dante and Acacia next about their surgeries.
My mother had visited me as well this morning. Go figure, I was just starting to feel a little bit better until she came into the room. She walked over to me with a case in hand.
“This is for you,” Mom said with a small smile as she sat down on my bed and handed me the case. I just blinked and looked down at the case. It seemed to be some sort of instrument case. I flipped the locks downwards and opened it up. It was a violin. A beautiful, hand-carved violin.
“It used to be mine, and I have always kept it with me. Since yours was destroyed when Chris was killed...” She cleared her throat. “I thought I should give you mine,” She smiled and I just nodded.
“Thanks,” I muttered as I touched the violin lightly and memories came to mind and I winced. There were so many memories in my head now, that I just wanted to erase them all. Ever since I got the chip taken out, I had gotten a flood of memories and they only surfaced when they were needed, but they still clashed with the fake memories so it was still hard to distinguish what was real and what wasn’t.
“Do you remember how to play?” I wish she would just leave. I shrugged.
“I’m not sure,” I told her and she just nodded and sat there for a few seconds before she got up.
“I guess I’ll just leave now,” She laughed nervously and just as she got to the door, I stopped her. I wasn’t really sure why, but I did.
“Mom?” She spun around with a smile.
“Yes, honey?” I really don’t like the nicknames...
“Why did you leave?” I asked bluntly and she hesitated before she came back over and sat down beside me again.
“I’m not very good at being a mother. I learned this as Charlie grew up and you were born. I didn’t do very well with Charlie because of how smart he was and his autism. Sometimes, he would just act on random when I wasn’t expecting it and so when you were born, after the first few years, I got scared and left. It was also besides the fact that I had heard about Cyrus and what he was planning to do, which was an amazing idea until the scientists took over. You should really give him a chance, by the way. He’s not the man you think he is.” I just blinked. “You should also talk with Griffin. He’s already having trouble with his brother and he has nobody to talk to besides me, and I kind of get tired of it.” A small smirk grew on my face. “So yes, I was scared... I knew more about the scientists than I should’ve, and it got me in trouble, so I had to hide before they found me, but they found Chris instead,” She swallowed solemnly and I just nodded. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you in your life, Akira. I truly wanted to be and help you, but...” She couldn’t finish her sentence. I couldn’t forgive her but I at least I could acknowledge her.
“What about recently? Why didn’t you tell me what was wrong with me?” I asked her and she looked at me with tears in her eyes.
“Don’t you ever think there is something wrong with you. Don’t you ever think that. I didn’t know what to do since you’ve arrived home. That house had been empty for years until you were let go by Xeno. I didn’t know what to do, Akira,” Mom told me and I just nodded. “I was mainly gathering information about the Headquarters that resides up in Canada...” She stated, but didn’t continue. She stammered for a bit, unsure of really what to say next and then left the room silently.
I looked down at the violin and slowly picked it up. I slid it under my chin and picked up the bow and I tried playing the violin and it was almost immediate that I started to play Moonlight Sonata by Mozart himself. My memories were the ones controlling the songs. I put the violin back in its case, locked it up, and then I stood and picked it up. I decided I was going to go play it alone, where nobody had ventured except me.
My ruins of my home.
I slid the case onto my back as I left the tunnels through the original pothole that we came down days ago. Maybe it’s even been a week, I’m not sure. I climbed it and once I slid the pothole cover, got out, and fixed it, I headed through the partly burned woods over to the ruins of my home.
Most of the second and third floor were missing, and the roof was entirely gone. At most, there were still some beams that had held up the second floor, and most of the staircase was still intact. The door was gone and the walls of the mansion were gone. Books were burned and all over the place. The kitchen didn’t even exist and the living room with the dining room table was pretty much gone too. The pool still kind of existed, to say in the least. Seeing it again made me want to cry again, like I had many times before when I visited this tomb.
I walked over to the stairs and slowly climbed it, hoping that the boards would stay like they had the last few times I climbed it. I took my violin out and placed it underneath my chin once more. Instead of depending on my memories on how to play the violin, I just did it and played the one song that was on my mind. It was called Unfinished Life by Audiomachine and it seemed as if I was in the orchestra itself, playing it with them. I understood by what my brother and my father said now. I was a prodigy, in a way. I couldn’t help but pour my soul into playing.
For a long time, perhaps the whole day, I played. I could sense some members hiding in the trees, listening to the music, and I didn’t mind because they weren’t bothering me. As it got dark and all you could see was the town, I started to hear the members get up and leave for dinner.
“You know... you play beautifully,” I jumped so badly that I made a string break with my bow and it snapped my neck.
“Ow,” I muttered as I put down my violin and rubbed my neck. I didn’t want to look up to see who said that, because I already knew who it was.
“Akira, will you not talk to me? Please, I am trying to apologize for my actions over a matter of two weeks ago.” It’s been two weeks? It’s only felt like days. I looked up at Griffin. His hair was a little shorter since his surgery and he was wearing clothes that he normally relaxed in, like his favorite hoodie and jeans, along with his old flip flops, which Violett had gotten for him at some point. His hair was a complete mess though, like he had just woken up. It was odd to think that I had known him for a year now.
I felt my neck start to bleed a little bit and I was about to hold my sleeve to it when Griffin came over and held his arm against it. He was really close too. I avoided his eyes.
“Akira, please, just look at me,” Griffin almost pleaded and I moved my eyes to his. I could see the apology right in his eyes along with the sorrow and grief. He truly didn’t mean to do what he did, but it was the fact that he still did it.
“I thought you chose me,” I said quietly, my voice hoarse. It was always like that nowadays.
“And I still am choosing you, Akira. Cyrus seems... to be faring well, considering how many people dislike him in the club. I felt like I needed to protect my brother, Akira, you must understand.” For a moment, I considered it, and realized I did understand it. I would’ve done the same thing for Charlie.
“Yes... I would’ve done the same thing for Charlie,” I said quietly and he looked at me with a smile.
“So you understand? You forgive me?” Griffin asked and I hesitated for a second.
“How can I trust you not to do that again?” I asked and he smiled
“By coming with me. I have something setup for the both of us to enjoy,” Griffin smiled as he held out his hand and I hesitated before I quickly put my stuff away, including the broken string, and took his hand.
It was weird holding Griffin’s hand again. I really wasn’t used to it. It was warm though, a lot more than I suspected it had been. He looked good. His red scales were gone and he looked normal. His wings were slowly moving in the wind and he smiled at me, noticing that I was looking at him. Unsurprisingly, I smiled and blushed and looked away.
As we moved through the forest, I noticed that we were heading towards the graveyard. Why there?
“Why are we going to the graveyard?” I asked and he smiled.
“You will see,” Griffin smiled and I smiled back as I followed his watchful stare to the trees as we slowly exited the forest and came upon the graveyard. Off in the distance, I could see candles lit up near the tree that was right beside my dad’s grave. Just what was he planning?
As we got closer, I saw that it was a picnic. There were candles set up, and roses were everywhere. I blushed as I saw it all. Dad’s gravesite was cleaned up too, even washed. Griffin went and sat down on one side of the picnic basket and gestured for me to sit on the other side. I slowly sat down on the other side as he got out everything from the basket.
It was all of my favorite dishes that I had once made at the house, including my favorite wine. I smiled and giggled, which was a first for me because I hadn’t done that since Germany.
Griffin noticed and smiled. I loved seeing his smile. I loved everything about him.
“I love you, Griffin,” I admitted, almost unknowingly and he beamed with a blush on his cheeks.
“I love you too, Akira.”
And with that, we ate. I pulled out a sandwich as he poured me a glass of wine, and himself one as well. We clinked glasses just for the fun of it, not toasting to anything, and drank. We weren’t going to get drunk though, or at least, that was the impression I got from Griffin.
I dipped my sandwich in the soup he brought and he tried it, and found out he liked it as well, though he stared at me with a full mouth and suddenly leaned forward, putting his arm against my neck again. I heard him swallow and I just laughed.
“You started to bleed again from that violin string snapping. It seems dangerous, almost to just play the violin,” Griffin stated and I rolled my eyes.
“I’m fine with playing the violin, Griffin, and you know that you’re a mess, right?” I asked and he straightened up and looked down.
“Ela said I should wear this. Shall I go and change into something more proper?” He asked and I shook my head.
“No, I like you like this,” I laughed and he blushed nervously and he took another bite of his sandwich.
“What did you have your brother remove from you, Akira?” Griffin asked as I grabbed out a bowl of fresh strawberries and whipped cream that seemed to be homemade. I smiled and looked up at Griffin.
“Just my wolf instincts and my porcupine quills,” I said and he nodded. “I noticed that your red scales are gone,” I told him and he smiled.
“Yes, quite,” Griffin agreed. “I do like your short hair, Akira,” Griffin pointed out and I smiled. He had never quite complimented me this much.
“Why are you complimenting me this much? Did you read a book or something about how to date women?” I asked him and he blushed and looked the other way, pretending to ignore what I said. I giggled. “It’s fine, Griffin,” I laughed and he looked at me.
“Tumblr actually told me what i should do. I am apparently now in the top commenters and one of the top people who are ‘Tumblring”, along with one who has the most followers,” and my eyes widened. I wasn’t even into social media, but apparently Griffin was all about it. I smiled.
“Alright then,” I told him as he slowly got to my favorite chocolate cheesecake and we started to eat that.
Once we finished up the picnic and ended up talking non-stop, we headed back down the pothole that was in the graveyard and down back into the tunnels. Thankfully, everyone seemed to be asleep as Griffin walked me to my room, but instead of saying ‘good night’ at the door, he stepped into the room and put the picnic basket down after he locked the door behind him.
“What’s going on, Griffin?” I laughed and he just kept quiet with a smile on his face as he got closer to me and kissed me softly. I wasn’t expecting this, but he continued to kiss me as he held me closer and closer to him. After a few minutes, he started to kiss me on the neck and I gasped. The last time he did this was... Germany.
“Griffin... what are you doing?” I gasped and he just chuckled.
“I chose you, correct?” And that was the answer he gave me.
I blushed brightly as he pushed me down on the bed and everything just happened as it did in Germany.
And I trusted him completely once more.
-------------------
THEY DID THE THING AGAIN. YEP. LOL.
Anyways xD This is a time to relax and post and whenever I shall post next is when we move onto the pretty much last plot line xD DX
Comments appreciated! :D
~Anime
