Solana
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TOO LONG IT HAS BEEN. GOSH I’M AN AWFUL INDIVIDUAL MANY APOLOGIES. Here’s following up with uhhh Himedere’s post (golly gosh I’m still getting used to that xD). eeee also thanks man for helping with this oiiiii
Also also this post is p much like a soap opera like super angst and drama BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE HORRID ACTING AT LEAST YEAH
★☽★☾★☽★☾★☽★☾★☽★☾
I’d never imagined that the time spent in that dingy, dark, cold, condemning hellhole we called our sanctuary could be the most revealing. Alone, in the 10x10 concrete room, I had only my thoughts for company. I never knew they could become so cruel.
You are worth nothing. You are nothing. An orphan chosen for nothing more than the fact you were unloved and unattached. You were meant to be great, but you’re so weak.
You’re lucky you’re not attached to Ace anymore. You never deserved him. You don’t deserve anything. You can’t even have children.
That scientist was right to abandon you. You would have died by the end of your experimentation. You’d have been a waste of time and money. Well. that hasn’t really changed.
It’d be better if you offed yourself. When the time comes to fight, you’ll only hold the others back. You’re weak, fragile, and you haven’t the faintest idea how to fight.
Do it, then. Do it, already. The longer you stay, the worse off the others are. Don’t you want to help them? Do you want to help ensure your friends’ deaths? Do you?
With a soft cry, I lurched from the cot and stumbled toward the hall, squeezing my eyes shut when I made it out. Leaning heavily against the closed door, I shakily sighed.
I took to wandering. I figured that if such a small space corrupted my thoughts and turned them against me, perhaps a stroll around a slightly less cramped space would do my mind some good.
I first passed by the common area. Two club members sat before the television, controllers firmly in their grasp. Bridgette led them with enthusiastic shouts, and Violett furiously smashed buttons.
“You did not just hit me with that blue shell, I swear to all that is holy,” Bridgette cried, violently shaking her controller. “I thought we were friends!”
“There are no friends in MarioKart,” Violet said darkly.
A third controller lay abandoned beside them.
I hesitated, debating whether or not I should bother asking to join them. Realizing all I would do is hinder their game, I decided against the notion.
“Harder!” Akira cried from a room up ahead. “Come on!” Blushing, I sped up, hoping to walk quickly past whatever room she was in. When I came upon it, she bent, hands on her knees, before Alice. Alice brought her knee up and slammed it into the swaying bag filled with sand. “Is that seriously all you’ve got, Alice?”
Upon realizing my imagination had gone much too far, I couldn’t help but laugh, and Akira’s eyes slid toward me. I covered my mouth.
“Can I help you?”
“... U-um.”
“Solana, we’re training.”
A sudden desire to become stronger, fitter, worthier, washed over me, and I stepped into the room. “May I join you?”
Both Akira and Alice paused, glancing at each other, before anyone spoke. It was Alice who answered me. “This is a private session, Solana. Otherwise, I’d... say yes in a heartbeat.”
“You can schedule a session with me, and we can get you started on some walking exercises on the treadmill, maybe some minor lifting,” Akira offered, wiping a hand across her brow. “Nothing too exhausting.”
Weak. Pathetic.
I looked down. “On second thought... I-I’ll just leave you two to your business. Thanks... for the offer, Akira.”
Before either could say anything more, I darted out of the room.
I craved comfort. If this walk only proved my thoughts were correct, I... I wouldn’t...
Solace. I needed solace.
I aimlessly wandered, seeking refuge in the form of companionship or something. None of my animal friends were down where we were, and I didn’t feel it was right to burden any of the other club members.
Maybe an hour later, I came across Emery’s room. He’d barely entered my mind that day. I’d dwelled too much on sour emotions, I supposed.
I hadn’t expected him to permit me to enter. I hadn’t expected him to be so welcoming. Or warm.
That night, I learned that, sometimes, pseudo stars were far better than real ones.
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The Next Morning
“Don’t you like your pancakes?” a voice asked, and with a high-pitched squeal, I dropped my fork to the floor. Karin’s red eyes peered into mine, laced with concern. “Are you alright?”
Unable to speak for a moment, I vigorously nodded. She furrowed her brows.
“You sure?”
“D-definitely,” I said with a laugh. “Better than I’ve been in a while.”
Smiling kindly, Karin squeezed my shoulder. “Glad to hear it. It’s gotta be tough—”
Suddenly and unintentionally defense, I turned on her. “What? What’s gotta be tough? I don’t have a problem. I’m fine! Totally fine.”
She gaped at me. “It’s gotta be tough when you can’t fly or see your animals.”
I turned my face away and tapped my index fingers together. My cheeks burned hotter than ever before. “Right. Yeah, it can be hard.”
Giving me a strange look, she nodded slowly and said, “I’ll get you another fork.”
To my left, a table consisting of Ela, Ash, Aerith and Kateri bustled with conversation. I tried to focus on their words—which mostly consisted of a discussion revolving training for battle and some popular television show that, from what I gathered, was about a man who loved dogs and his friend, the chef—but found myself drifting away from the topics.
“Here you go,” said Karin, appearing by my side. I jumped, less noticeably than last time.
As she placed the fork down, I, cheeks flushed, lifted my eyes and caught Ace’s stare from across the room. I froze. He didn’t move. Then without a word, he turned around and rolled his shoulder, gesturing for me to follow. Though every fibre of my being rejected the notion, I obeyed his command.
When I reached the spot he’d been standing in, Karin called, “Don’t you want your breakfast?”
Just loudly enough so she could hear, I muttered, “Lost my appetite.”
I followed him through twisting corridors, keeping a lengthy distance between us, until I found him casually leaning against a wall with a lit cigarette propped between his lips. He took a long drag on it, plucked it from his lips, and exhaled a stream of smoke. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” I said softly. “Didn’t know you smoked.”
He shrugged then threw the bud to the ground and crushed it beneath his heel. “You don’t know a lot of things.”
I clenched a fist by my side. He’s just stressed. He’s not really being an ... an ass. He never was like this before. “Did you want to talk to me about something?”
There had been about 10 feet between us, but he quickly closed that distance, standing just a foot away. “Yeah, I had some questions.”
I swallowed before offering what I hoped was a kind smile. “Ask away. I’m an open book.” The laugh I gave was hollow and not at all convincing.
“What were you doing in Emery’s room last night?” His eyes were cold, much colder than I’d ever seen them. Was that... was that jealousy?
“Not that it’s any of your business,” I began, his eyes narrowing, “I was talking to him. That’s all.”
“You sure?” he asked. “Because frankly, with him, that’s a bit difficult to believe.”
I crossed my arms. “You don’t even know him.”
“And you do?”
“I don’t know why this matters to you. We’re not together. You made it pretty clear you didn’t want to be with me.”
His jaw dropped. “Solana, you broke up with me. And after what’d happened that day, you didn’t lend much to the imagination.”
“What?”
“It’s pitifully obvious.”
My arms dropped. “Ace.”
“You got drunk, had sex with him, then dumped me for him.”
Shaking my head, I said, “No, Ace, that’s not—”
“That’s exactly what happened, and I can’t believe you’re still trying to lie to me,” he blurted. “You have no idea how much that hurt me, Angel.” The pet name struck me straight through the heart. “I wish you could be honest with me.”
“Ace, I swear, nothing happened between us that night.”
He only looked away, shook his head, forced a laugh. “It’s like you’re enjoying this. Like you enjoy giving me pain. That’s sadistic, Solana.”
“I’m—”
“What, are you a whore now? Who else have you been sleeping around with? Was Emery just the start?”
“Ace, please, just—”
He stepped closer and took my face in his hands. “I loved you so Goddamn much, Solana. I don’t understand why you’d do this.”
I struggled against his crippling hold, futilely trying to wrench his fingers away from my chin. “Ace, I honest to God didn’t—”
He shook me, literally jerked about my body like it was a rag doll. “Stop lying to me.”
A tear fell. “I’m not lying.”
“Solana.”
“Ace... Stop.” I cried, my breathing becoming erratic. “Please just stop.”
He stopped, eyes wide, when he noticed the tears now streaming down my face. His thumbs wiped them away, and his lips found mine.
Shocked, I tried to push him away, weak fists pounding against his chest. I pulled away as best I could to say, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Panting, he said, “I’m just... I wanted to... Solana, I still love you.”
“Ace.” His name escaped breathlessly.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I’m so sorry for everything I’ve said.”
“You accused me of cheating and lying then shouted at me when I tried to defend myself, and you think ‘sorry’ is going to suffice?” My hands were shaking now, terrible tremors splaying my fingers no matter how hard I tried to stop them.
His eyes darkened. “I’m trying to fix things, Solana. I want to go back to how it used to be.”
“You’re not the Ace I used to know, so that’s not happening,” I said. There was a surge of confidence, of power, racing through me. “I can’t deal with these personality swings, Ace. I can’t do it.”
For a few moments, he didn’t move. He stared hard at me, his chest expanding with every deep breath he took. Then his eyes widened slightly and his eyebrows raised. “Oh, I see.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It’s him. Emery. That’s why you won’t take me back.”
Taking a step back, I said, “No, it’s not. It’s your violent nature and awful, awful accusations that are why I won’t take you back.”
He tossed his hands up. “So you’re defending the man-whore now.”
“I didn’t even say—”
“This is wonderful. I can’t believe you’d choose the churchgrim over me.”
“I’m not choosing him over you. I’m just not dealing with your—”
He turned sharply toward me and advanced, taking brisk strides in my direction. I stepped back until I hit the wall then cowered into it. The concrete slammed into my spine, nearly knocking the wind from my lungs. “If you say one more word to defend him or insult me, Solana, I swear to God I’ll—”
“Solana?” Emery called from around the corner. “Sol, you alright?”
I exhaled sharply, my eyes drifting over to the direction from whence his voice came. Ace took a few steps back, his jaw clenched.
When Emery came around the corner and met my eyes, he paused to take in the situation. Then, turning to Ace—to take in the pulsing tendons in his neck, his white knuckles, his impossibly straight posture—he stepped between us.
“Whoa,” said Emery with his hands raised. “You need to chill the fuck out.”
Ace, through gritted teeth, said, “You are the absolute last person I want to see right now, so if you value any of your best features, I suggest you leave.”
Emery cocked a smile. “Not gonna happen.”
“You think you can ruin my relationship without a second thought? Does it even occur to you what you did?”
Sliding a wide-eyed glance to me, Emery shrugged. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” When Ace’s brows lowered, Emery lifted a hand. “Unless this is about Germany.”
“That’s part of it.”
“You realize nothing happened, right? It was absolutely nothing. I didn’t mean to be a homewrecker.”
Ace took a step forward. “Like I’m gonna believe that. You destroyed everything I built. You... you corrupted my girlfriend while we were still dating and you think it’s a big fucking joke. And the best part is that you both continue to deny it. Come to terms with your mistake, and at least you can work on forgiving yourselves.”
Is he insane? ... Maybe he’s more stressed out than I thought...
“Listen, Ace,” Emery said, “I’m sorry if I’ve offended you or whatever. But neither Solana nor myself did anything wrong. It was your paranoia, I guess, that wrecked your relationship. But—”
Ace came within two feet of Emery. I instinctively advanced, hovering a few feet from the two of them. “So this is my fault, is it? When my girlfriend proved to be a slut, it was my fault to approach her? And it was my fault to see a problem with that kind of behavior?”
Forehead puckered, Emery said, “Solana didn’t do anything, Ace. Honest to God.”
Eyes lifted to the ceiling, Ace said, “She got drunk and chose an idiot to have sex with. My luck.”
“Hey,” Emery said, “just because I’m easy doesn’t mean she is.”
“Bullshit,” Ace cried. “I guess you and she are meant to be because you’re both nothing more than whores.”
Emery took a deep, steadying breath. “You may want to hold your tongue there, pal. I think you’re getting a bit too worked up over literally nothing.”
Ace clenched his jaw, gritted his teeth. “I’ll show you nothing.”
His knuckles cracked against Emery’s cheek, and my hands flew to cover my mouth. “Ace!”
He didn’t even look at me, just wound his arm back again. Without thinking, I leapt between them and held up my arms just as Ace swung.
With a strangled cry of “Solana!” Emery pulled me back, and the momentum of Ace’s swing led his fist right to the left side of his own neck. He stumbled, then righted himself, his eyes wide with some odd combination of horror and fury.
“What are you trying to do, Solana? Get yourself hurt?” The words were angry, not concerned.
“No. I’ve had enough,” I said. Emery squeezed my shoulder and shifted me to the side, staying between Ace and myself as if... as if he were protecting me.
Emery briefly touched his face then stared heatedly at Ace. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to get this little lady out of here before you do anything else to prove you’re a complete nutcase.”
Ace said nothing, panting as he leaned over and clutched at his throat. With a hand on my back, Emery ushered me back toward the dining area. I couldn’t help but glance back at Ace only to meet his disapproving, hurt, and accusing glare.
I didn’t look back again.
When we were almost to the dining area, Emery stopped then turned me to face him.
He opened his mouth to speak but I interrupted him. “God, Emery, your face.” My hand immediately flew to his cheek, fingers lightly brushing the broken skin. He winced only a little before laying his hand atop mine and removing it.
“Tis but a flesh wound, milady,” he said with a small smile. “Now,” he said, becoming dangerously serious, “are you hurt at all? Did he do anything to you?”
I shook my head. “No. I’m fine. Honestly.” I glanced away. He, his hand gentle as if caring for an injured bird, took my chin and lifted it.
“Are you sure?”
Taking a deep breath, I nodded. “Yes. I’m fine. Just a bit... shaken up, I guess.”
“Never knew your ex was such a prick.”
Blinking rapidly, I said, “Oh, he’s not normally like that.” Emery slid me a look that clearly said he was having none of that. “No, really. He used to be so... sweet and kind.”
“Jealousy’s a cold mistress,” Emery said.
“Poetic.”
Emery shrugged. “I heard it somewhere.”
“Where? On a soap opera?” I joked, hoping to direct the subject away from all things Ace.
He chuckled. “You caught me. I’m a soap opera fanatic.”
“I always suspected...” We shared a laugh, but I sobered too quickly for my liking. “Emery, I...” I choked on my words and lifted my eyes to the ceiling. Then, without another word, I pressed myself to him and threw my arms around his neck. His arms wrapped around me without hesitation. “T-thank you. I-I was s-s-so scared. I didn’t know... I didn’t know what would happen. God, I’m so thankful...”
“Shhhhh. Shh shh shhh,” he murmured, pressing his lips to my hair as I struggled to keep from outright sobbing. That’s becoming a habit, and I’d rather it not. “It’s alright, Solana. I’ve got you. Don’t worry. It’ll be alright.”
I swallowed and took a step back. “You’re right,” I said, briskly shaking my head and wiping under my eyes just in case any tears had slipped. “It will be alright.” So long as I have you, I almost said. “For now, let’s go get your face cleaned up.”
We made it to his room in no time, luckily not passing anyone else on our way. It definitely would have raised a question or two.
On our way, I snagged some first aid supplies from one of the many storage rooms. Emery gave me an odd look. “Water isn’t going to cut it,” I said. “You may be strong, but you’re not immune to infection.”
“As far as you know,” he teased. “I could have super powers.”
I gave him an incredulous look. “Then I guess you don’t want me to clean it.”
“Solanaaaa,” he whined. “I can’t go around with blood on my face.”
“Then I suggest you let me clean it properly,” I said, smiling.
When we reached his room, I directed him to his cot, and once he was seated, I tended to the wound.
“You’re lucky, you know.”
“Hmm? How’s that?” he asked, hissing through his teeth as I dabbed peroxide to his skin.
“He could’ve hit your eye. Or your nose. Or your mouth. Broken some of your little teeth,” I taunted.
Sighing, he gripped the blanket beneath him. “Guess he saw my true beauty and couldn’t bear to deface it.”
I stifled a laugh. “Yes. That must be it.”
Silence fell neatly in place as I applied the bandage and tenderly patted his cheek.
“Didja fix me up?” he asked, prodding his cheek.
“Yes, sir,” I answered. “You’ll be good as new. Stitches would probably help it heal faster, but I don’t think you want me around your face with a needle.”
“Nah, I trust you.”
“That’s a really poor decision.”
He laughed. “Thank you,” he said, nodding once.
“My pleasure,” I said with a smile.
“So about what happened...”
I closed my eyes. “Can we just... forget about it?”
“You serious?”
“It’ll make things a lot easier.”
His hand found its place on my shoulder, and I opened my eyes to stare into his. “Ignoring something doesn’t make it go away.”
“You’re just full of wisdom, aren’t you?”
“You’d think I was a philosophy major,” he said, leaning back. “But really, you can’t just forget about it.”
“I’d like to.”
“That won’t make it better,” he warned.
I packed away the final pieces of first aid material. “Like I said. It’ll make my life a lot easier just to act like it never happened.”
“But it did happen,” he insisted, “and you can learn from it. Isn’t that the point of living?”
“Well—”
“Learn from everything and change what’s necessary. That’s what I’ve gathered.”
I paused. “Fair enough.”
“Wait, what?”
My mind racing, I began walking away.
“Hey!” he called, rising from the bed. “Where are you going?”
I spun around, my hair flying out around me. “I’m gonna go talk to Akira and set up a training session. Maybe 10. I want to be useful. And I might try my hand at some video games. Maybe I’m secretly a prodigy! Then, if, um, it’s okay with you...” My confidence dropped drastically, but I continued. “I’ll meet you for dinner.”
“Sounds like a dream,” he said, grinning broadly as he lay down on his cot. “See you later, sweetheart.”
★☽★☾★☽★☾★☽★☾★☽★☾
★☽★☾★☽★☾★☽★☾★☽★☾
EEEE SOLANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING
YOU'RE CHANGING
YOU'RE BECOMING SLIGHTLY LESS AWKWARD
WHOOOOAAAAAAA
So yeah super awk yay
hope you like it!! <3
