Written in response to a keyword provided by Prismlotus. The keyword was 'jaded' and I've recently argued with my father, so here you go.
It's long been a given to me that I will have to hear things that I won't enjoy hearing. I will have to see myself from a perspective I'd really rather block out. This, I've come to realize, is a part of life. It's going to happen, and accepting it can be crucial to human growth. Listening is when hearing becomes understanding, and this is the salvation of relationships, so yeah, it's really inevitable. I'd still say I started too young, but I'm not really trying to contest that point. I'm sure we could all line up and recite our own diatribes on unfairness, but that would fill several books.
What shouldn't have surprised me is that the very people who insisted that I see things from their points of view are really not interested in taking a turn with mine.
It's funny, at first I thought my father couldn't understand. He can get stuck in his own perspective, so I thought maybe using different terms to explain my own might help. A few unsuccessful attempts later, I finally managed to make a breakthrough, presenting my viewpoint, but in his own terms. And...and there was no 'aha' moment, no, "Oh, now I get it", and not the result I was after, the "Okay, you have a point." There wasn't any more confusion, either.
There was anger. And bitterness and sorrow and dejection. And I realized that the problem was not that he couldn't understand. It was that he didn't want to.
And you know what? I didn't want to hurt him, so I stopped trying to make him hear. And then there was peace, at least on the outside. It's just...remember what I said about understanding being the salvation of relationships?
He doesn't understand why I don't want to talk to him much. And it's not that I don't want to, but not all of my thoughts are good. He only wants to hear the good, so I say "Hey, remember when..." and I let that be the end of it. I let it be that simple, and when things get complicated, I get quiet.
And things get complicated a lot. Life has this tendency to be like that.
But, no. I only say the good things. I only want peace. It can be that simple, if only I cast aside my own perspective in favor of his, if only I don't think too much, as long as nothing hurts me because that would mean something had gone wrong and he would never allow something to go wrong, now would he? I mean, he doesn't want to hear that, and I wouldn't want to make him hear something he doesn't enjoy hearing, would I?
