My life story.

I don't remember much of my childhood. Just me at the beach for the first time. That's it.
Then primary school rolled by. Before grade 2, I only remember being lost. Then grade 2 came by and I made my first and only friend- Sky* (*not actual name). We spent a few years together not having a single fight. Then I realised something. Sky was using me. She forgets her lunch? I buy it for her. Other things like that occurred frequently. So I told her we couldn't be friends anymore. I was sad, but yet so happy, as I was when I was in year 2-6. That night someone I didn't know called me and asked why I had broken up with Sky. I asked who she was and how she had gotten my number. She said her name was Bree* and my friend, Summer* gave her my number. I didn't know who Summer was. I was going to hang up when Sky talked. We stopped talking.
I had a BF for a while. His name was Jay*. Me being greedy, I always wanted to go to his house. The only time he came here was when I first talked to him. His family owned a company for jumping castles. I was active and happy back then. Then, one day, I called him. He didn't pick up. The next day, I called. No answer. Those days turned into weeks, then months, then eventually a year. I gave up on relationships, but I was still happy nonetheless.
I graduated, almost crying for no damn reason. I separated from my newer best friend (I move on quickly), Micelle*. I never heard from her again. He was one of my only good friends. But I was still happy.
I went to high school. It all went downhill from there.
I was put in the highest class for year 7s. Apparently I was smart. I quickly made friends. We went on the year 7 camp. It was fun. I was happy. I cried coz my legs hurt a little. That's all. My teacher even offered to carry me across the gravel path to the teachers who were having a smoke. I denied. My dad got kinda angry at me. I shrugged it off. I was still happy.
Then I had to drop a grade, to 9.4. I was slightly angry. I give my fellow classmates the bird. That basically dropped my popularity to near 0. I had one friend at least. Then they moved. A boy in my class had REALLY bad anxiety, like, he never smiled. He avoided people. He was always hunched over. But he seemed to avoid me the most. I didn't really care that much. He stopped coming to school. I did sort of care. I thought it was coz of me. That's all if year 7.
Then came the birth if Raggdoll.
It was mid 2014, and I was bored. So I drew a puppet on the margins of my book. I got really excited about him. Happy again. I told mum about him. I then discovered that I could draw ok. So I made Raggdoll a better form- his current form now, only a little fatter. I imagined him killing my enemies, which was basically everyone in my grade. My imagination became vivid. I made DarlingV, joined the Otaku, then made Grimm. Shadow as next then it spread like wildfire.
Then, suddenly, something happened.
I was no longer happy.
I was just waking up in the morning. The previous night, I had asked my sister to get my iPod when she woke up. She didn't. She said 'you need to get up and get it yourself. You shouldn't be so lazy'. I threw a temper tantrum, the first one I had had in years. I threw my pillows against the walls, then cried against my blankets. Then something snapped.
As if in a trance, I got up.
I went to the kitchen.
I opened the drawer.
I grabbed a steak knife and walked to the table.
I dragged the knife as hard as I could against my arm 3 times.
Then I heard my siblings asking what I was doing.
I screamed and threw the knife at the wall. I grabbed my hair and almost yanked it out. I ran to my room and sat on my bed, hugging my knees and crying. Dad comes in and asks what's wrong. I told him everything after calming down. My siblings were grounded and sent to cricket with dad. Mum took me out to the shopping centre and we just went shopping and stuff. She offered to buy me whatever I wanted, but I only wanted chocolate and food. She gave me one of her bears later- a big fluffy brown one. She said 'if anyone upsets you again, hug this bear. Everything will be alright'.
And you know what? I believed her. I named the bear Hero, because if there was a hero around, everything was going to be alright. My siblings were nice to me for a while, then it returned to normal. The Stitchez bloomed, and my mum believed in me. She was the only one I trusted. Then my sister and I were home when mum and my brother went to the movies. It was sort of unfair, but we put up with it. Later mum came over and she was in a cranky mood. Turns out we were supposed to do chores while they had fun. We were told to have showers, then have toast and then go to bed. I had my shower. But not before I found my dads scissors. He usually kept them on a shelf, but there was only one pair under the sink. I grabbed it and cut myself 3 times.
And you know what?
I DON'T regret it.
I'll do it again. I will. I promise you.
This is what I see as my future:
Either me being someone who can't drive because of my sick sense of humour.
Me being stuck in a psych ward.
Me being dead.
I think it'll be the last one.
Well, here's one thing that I am 100% sure about.
I am no longer happy.
The only thing keeping me going is The Stitchez.