"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart."
for writing of all kinds. (concrit welcomed. ♥)
- Created By bellpickle
random triolet
its imprint never fades
it lingers
in withered yellow shades
its imprint never fades
images clear as cascades
it searches with coarse fingers
its imprint never fades
it lingers.
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I was in a really weird mood today so I decided to just sit down and write something.
Just because I haven't posted here in a while... OVERTURE-VERSE:
For the first time in his life, Jaejoong doesn’t know what to make of this boy.
Certainly he seemed kind enough. A little arrogant sometimes, though, like he had to be composed and in control of everything at all times, but he was nice and was friends with a lot of the other trainees, and even though Jaejoong was a newbie, he hadn’t even made a single attempt to haze him. But there was something about him, and Jaejoong doesn’t know what exactly, that put him on edge. The very first time they met in the dance studio, where the other boy spent so much of his time that he practically lived there, Jaejoong heart started pounding like angry door knocks, as if he were scared of just conversing with this boy. He makes Jaejoong feel so sick that his mind works on auto and he starts rambling about something stupid, like how monkeys actually peel bananas upside-down when neither of them are eating one. And each time it happens, the other boy just smiles awkwardly like he has no idea how else to respond, and it just makes Jaejoong want to vomit even more.
A doctor’s appointment is too much of a strain for his measly budget, so he goes to the nearest free health clinic and waits for hours in a room filled with homeless people to be told that, physically at least, there is nothing wrong with him. A little stressed and a little underweight, but nothing that should cause intermittent queasiness and impaired speech. Jaejoong, realizing that this was a mind issue rather than a body issue, decides that he has two options:
1) Eventually overcome these symptoms with time, steady exposure, and sheer determination no matter how many ridiculous things he blurts or even if he one day passes out on the spot.
2) Avoid him.
At the moment, the latter option looks really, really appealing.
Kim Jaejoong, newest trainee of music industry giant SM Entertainment, met a boy in a strange new city that makes him sweat just at the sight of him, makes him feel as if the whole world is rocking wildly on loose hinges, and he has no idea what to make of it.
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DO THEY EVEN HAVE FREE HEALTH CLINICS IN KOREA???
FINAL response assignment for Beloved
Which doesn't mean that this is the last paper I will have to write for the class (there's still the final 5-7 page paper ;__;), but it's the last that will focus on one specific passage from the text. I'm not sure how plausible some points of my argument are, but hey. I only have one night to read and write this stuff so stfu. >_>;;
The use of first person throughout the chapter on pg. 248-252 clarifies previously unclear characteristics of Beloved. This passage is very significant in understanding Beloved because it explores her inner thoughts and her own self-concept in a way that third person cannot. By utilizing first person, the text accentuates Beloved’s confused sense of identity, and suggests that Beloved’s self-perception is so flexible to the point that, even when she describes herself in her own words, she is still unknowable.
Throughout this chapter, “I” and its possessive forms “my” and “mine” are used to depict how Beloved’s sense of identity is constantly shifting. In regards to Beloved, first person is used only in accordance to whomever she identifies with at that moment in time. When taking the body of the woman thrown off the boat, Beloved’s wording transitions from “I see her face which is mine” to “I have to have my face” to “I am loving my face so much.” (pg. 251) The shift in identity from one body to another is clearly seen as third person is completely dropped from her sentences. This suggests that her identity is shifting in both a physical and metaphorical sense; she is physically switching bodies, but at the same time, she is also switching the people whom she identifies with. Because these people greatly affect her self-concept, Beloved’s identity is impermanent and ever-changing.
Although the use of “we” throughout the first half of the chapter seems to imply a connection between Beloved and her greater community, it actually is another word used to establish Beloved’s self-concept. When describing the other prisoners on the boat, Beloved states: “They are not crouching now we are they are floating on the water.” (pg. 250) Beloved’s “we” are the prisoners alive on the boat, whereas “they” are the dead prisoners being thrown off the boat. By clearly distinguishing between “we” and “they,” Beloved sets up a group of “others” to compare her current identity to. The people included in and excluded from the group “we” is entirely determined by and interlinked with Beloved’s current identity.
Furthermore, “we” becomes just as impermanent of an identity as Beloved’s individual identity “I.” Once Beloved switches to the body of the woman in the water, there is a noticeable and sudden absence of the word “we” and a greater abundance of the word “I.” Because Beloved switched bodies once more, the prior definition of “we,” the other prisoners onboard the ship along with Beloved, no longer applies. “We” is not relevant to Beloved’s new identity, and so she abandons the word, completely dropping it from her vocabulary. This allows her to focus entirely upon her new self, her new “I.”
However, at the end of the chapter, Beloved’s shifting identities do close in on one person: Sethe. Beloved refers to Sethe as having “the face I lost” and “my face,” (pg. 252) suggesting that Beloved ultimately identifies most with Sethe. Like with every person whose identity she has assumed prior to this scene, Beloved equates herself with her assumed identity, never forming her own sense of self.
First person is typically used to explore a character’s identity, but here it instead is used to explore Beloved’s lack of identity. The chapter culminates with Beloved associating herself to Sethe more than any of the others she’s inhabited, but this association in itself is not enough to create a whole identity. Even when equating herself with Sethe in the end, her self-concept remains muddled and unsure. Like a doppelganger, Beloved constantly assumes the identity of others, never revealing her true form.
I PROMISE I'LL POST SOMETHING MORE FUNNER WHEN I GET THE CHANCE TO. :(((
Though I do think that my conclusions are getting better. :DD
*off to do reading~*
The essay I was working on till 1:30 last night. :((
I'm still somewhat wary of the grade I'll get on this (the misreading incident still haunts me ._.), though I think this might be one of the better essays I've written so far. This centers on the scene in which Sethe explains what was going on in her head while she killed (D:) her baby.
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The prevailing binary throughout the passage from pg. 192-193 is that of freedom versus restriction. Depending on which side of the binary the reader considers more prevalent, Sethe’s thought processes and the consequences of her actions are seen in a more positive or negative light. At first it seems as though Sethe’s actions symbolize freedom, a way of breaking out of the cycle of slavery, but in reality, Sethe’s actions ultimately restrict her and her family.
One of the most common strands of this passage relates to prison. Sethe recalls experiences involving things such as a “tree cage” and “ankle ropes,” both of which relate to being bound in some way, to create an initial sense of restriction. Morrison attempts to dismiss this restriction by later comparing Sethe to a hummingbird in flight and by stating that Sethe “just flew” once she spotted the schoolteacher’s hat. The repeated references to flight, which traditionally symbolizes freedom, suggest that Sethe’s instinctual response to kill her children was liberating rather than destructive.
In a later scene, a sense of freedom is purportedly achieved once more following Sethe’s release from the jailhouse. She is described as feeling “glad the fence was gone” from the front of the house. Since fences are typically a symbol of confinement, it would seem reasonable to assume that the destruction of the fence was an act that liberated rather than restricted Sethe.
But despite Sethe’s attitude towards her situation, the destruction of the fence ironically isolated her family much more than when they were gated. Their fenceless house transformed from a “way station,” where so much traffic passed through that the gate “was always latching and unlatching,” to a place so “desolate” and “exposed” that only the valueless “shoulder weeds of Bluestone Road” dared to approach. The exposed house, rather than becoming more open and inviting of a place, actually became more isolated. By playing on the reader’s expectations, the text reveals how the destruction of a typically restrictive object still leads only to further restriction.
Even in the prior scene during which Sethe is related to the hummingbird, there is a dark implication hidden under the more obvious metaphor of flight as representative of freedom. The bird enters the scene in a violent manner, using its “needle beak” to pierce Sethe’s headcloth, a possible reference to the “flowered shift” Sethe wished to make for the baby using fabric “not enough for more ‘n a head tie.” (pg. 191) The hummingbird’s destruction of the headcloth while in flight foreshadows the destruction Sethe brings to her baby while she is also “flying” her children to supposed safety. Although the act of flying usually implies freedom, in this case, the aftermath of the event leaves Sethe and her family even more confined than before.
Thus, the text uses strands and anomalies concerning flight to depict the idea that destructive actions, even when done under the guise of freedom, leads to eventual degradation and restriction. Just as the destruction of the fence only signified further isolation, Sethe’s flight and its subsequent consequences only bound her family ever closer to the tragedies of slavery.
OK I'LL STOP PROCRASTINATING AND DO MY READING NOW BAI.
