I know it must have been the lighting or something, but I swear, I looked in the mirror, and my normally hazel eyes were green.
I think it's a sign...A sign that I must live a life of deceit and treachery and stabbing people I don't like...
I SHALL ANSWER THE CALL. Especially if it means I get a cute ginger boyfriend.
My eyes hurt >///<
Tata~!
~Mattie
HEY. SOME SERIOUS FREAKING SH*T AHEAD. BEWARE AND CRAP.
Just realizing what I've done to poor Cassio.
Let's look at the people surrounding him: Iago (his boyfriend), Cassius (his best friend), and Matthew (his non-canonical other best friend).
Matthew is depressed, depressed to the point of physical illness. He hates himself and feels worthless all the time, and can be considered somewhat suicidal.
Iago used to cut. He was (and may be again if we ever get OotRH moving...) very suicidal and almost insane. He still has nightmares and is trying to live his entire past down.
Cassius is EXTREMELY suicidal. He is absolutely convinced that he has no place in the world and that he's suffering through life for nothing.
...So yeah. I surrounded Cassio, a recovering alcoholic with enough problems of his own, with people who want to kill themselves!!
But I think Cassio deals with it well, especially with Cassius. I mean, he calls Cassius every night to check up on him and just talk, and for someone who's depressed, I think that's the best thing that you can do, make them feel like someone actually cares about them. With Matt...well, I haven't actually done a lot with him and Matt because my comic's still new, but he's definitely been taking care of Mattie, especially because the poor thing's made himself sick...Cassio's probably the best person to have taking care of you when you're sick, he makes the best soups and he always seems to know just what you need.
And Iago...That's so complicated...Because in Iago's case, Cassio blames himself for Iago's cutting. And because of that, he always (secretly, of course) does everything he can to make Iago happy. With Iago it's different, because Cassio's not (or doesn't consider himself to be) an outsider in that. It's one of those "It's different cuz we're dating" things? I guess, closer to home and all...
The worst part is, if once OotRH starts getting serious, and Iago's nightmares come back...I was thinking of having Iago start again, or at least get very close to starting again. And that would probably kill Cassio inside. WHY AM I SO MEAN TO HIM? WHY MUST I SACRIFICE HIS SANITY FOR THE SAKE OF A GOOD PLOT?
But somehow Cassio will handle it. Because he really is just a big sweetheart, and he knows how to make you feel like you're worth something to him. I guess, through the people around him, I've created even more of a character for him. And that's pretty awesome, I guess. Poor guy, though...Living with the fact that everyone he loves hates themselves...And still doing all he can to make sure they can see why they're wrong...I wish I had a Cassio as my best friend XD
Alright, no more serious depressing crap. I just kinda felt the need to get it all out there. Especially that whole "Iago was a cutter" thing, because GOD ABOVE I dropped so many hints and I still think that almost no one got it...
Well, tata~!
~Mattie
That I've even been rendered worthless by my robotics team.
And that when you use an electric toothbrush and stare at a digital clock, the different parts of the numbers start shaking and going crazy and having a major dance party, and you start feeling like you're insanely high.
UM's Quick and Easy Way to Unintentionally Depress Yourself!!
1. Wear your homemade Hetalia shoes.
2. Look down.
Crappy day today.
Beat my friend Italy at cards though. ^^; He got super mad...
I keep not having comics up...I have ideas, I'm just...not feeling it, I guess...
Have you ever felt really unimportant? Like, super unimportant? The kind of unimportant that makes you feel like absolutely no one in the world would care, would even notice, if you just disappeared?
It's a terrible feeling to have.
Sometimes I wish people would take me more seriously. Like, that people would understand that's it's incredibly hard for me to act happy all the time. Because it makes me feel all the more upset when they don't.
Gotta go...Party...Tata...
~Mattie
Guys I feel so popular X3
