But seriously, last night (or would it be this morning?) I had a really bad dream...Not bad like scary, bad like really depressing...
I was Matthew...kinda? I was Matthew to Alfred and Arthur but my family was there too and they saw me as me...But anyway, the family doesn't matter, the bad dream part was with ACE.
The three of us were in a park, and I saw Arthur first, and he held out his arms to hug me but then I was glomped by Alfred and hugged him instead. Then Al picked me up and kinda spun around with me a little before putting me down on a bench, and then he did the same thing with Arthur which made me kinda jealous. Then we realized we had to go somewhere (something about breakfast with my family?) and we all got in Al's car.
And here's the depressing part...I tried so many times to hug Arthur/hold his hand/other things that boyfriends do, and every time he did something to prevent it. It wasn't really on purpose (at least, I hope not...), but he'd always turn at the last second or start talking before I could hug him or something...And I remember barely being able to hold a conversation with him. All in all it was just really terrible...I woke up super upset too...
Am I dream-missing Arthur now, too?
I kinda wanted to write that down so I wouldn't forget it...Though maybe it'd be better to forget... XP
Alright, well, I'm gonna go. May or may not post again today...I HAS A SLEEPOVER~! That I need to find an ugly Christmas sweater for...I have an ugly sweater, but it's not Christmasy... (may just put a Christmas pin on it)
How was your day?
Alright? I didn't leave my room for anything but food and a shower ^^;
What's your current mood?
I am so full right now. I think I'm going to puke.
Why?
BECAUSE I ATE TOO MUCH HOT POCKET DAMMIT.
What did you wear today?
My skinny jeans with fuzzy Canadian slipper moccasins (spelling?), a green-ish longsleeve with my "We Be Jammin" shirt on top, and then I switched between my new Totoro hat and my polar bear hat <3
Where did you go today?
MY KITCHEN :D Well I was supposed to go to my grandfather's but somewhere along the line that plan dissipated...
Any notable thoughts or deeds?
Um...RANDOM SCENERIO IN MY MIND:
(Background: Matthew and Fluke (Future Luke) are from a steampunk era and until recently were captives on an air-pirate-ship run by Arthur. Arthur stole a pendant really important to Mattie. The ship was attacked, Matt saved Arthur's life, and they're all in the escape pod flying over some ocean.)
Mattie: Can I have my pendant back now?
Pirate!Iggy: It's not yer pendant anymore, poppet. (grin)
Mattie: ... (@Fluke) Open the pod door.
Pirate!Iggy: O_o (hands pendant back immediately)
Please don't even ask...
So overall, did you have a good or bad day?
Um, okay-ish?
CASSIO~! For taking the fact that Iago wanted to kill him because he thought Cassio was more beautiful than him as a compliment!
Speaking of boyfriends, I almost have that picture done...I've got Cass and Iago and Fujian and Damien done and looking pretty good together--just need to finish Mattie and Arthur, which I would like to do but I'm still waiting for someone to tell me what color flowers Matt actually received for Christmas.
I also want to keep working on my fanfic, but I have more questions that I can't get answered...
Reread a bit of Othello today...It actually kinda depressed me a bit...Like, usually I'm laughing at Iago's evil actions, and today I kinda felt bad for him...and for Cassio too...but not for Othello, he's a moron -_-
Played some of Skyward Sword today. There were a good five minutes where my nunchuck would not respond and I was left without a shield. Damn motion controls.
Also, wtf? Fi acts like a robot! EH?!
I really want to start playing my violin, but we need rosin first...bleh...
... (sigh) Alright. I didn't want to say it yesterday and ruin the holiday spirit, but I need to get this out. This year was probably the worst Christmas ever. Now, it's not like I got crappy presents or things like that--in fact, these may be some of the best presents I've ever gotten. But I've just been so...I dunno, sad lately. I feel like I'm taking things people say too seriously, or reading into things too much, but it's gotten kinda bad...I spent a good half an hour of my Christmas Eve party in my room, trying to just get away from people. I fell asleep at 11:30 on Christmas Eve. ELEVEN THIRTY. Most Christmas Eves, I physically cannot fall asleep until after two!
Of course, I woke up at 6 a.m. Christmas morning...
It's like my life is trying to eat me. I'm just really tired...I'm tired of pretending I like certain things just to make others happy. I'm tired of sitting around in bed wanting to throw my phone across the room. I'm tired of worrying about what exactly I'm going to do for college. I'm tired of not being able to write Maple Tea, you know, one of the few things that kept me going last year, because it depresses me so much that it's no longer important to anyone but me! In fact, I'm tired of not being able to write at all!
All of this ranting has made me even more upset...I thought it was supposed to make you feel better...More lies...
This phone, I swear...
Can I please curl up in a corner and die now? Please?
OH. ALRIGHT. ANNOYED UM NOW. POST IN OOTRH. SOMEONE. CAN WE TRY TO HAVE A NEW POST AT LEAST ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK? I'm sorry, but now that Hetalia's gone, I've been trying so hard to latch onto something, and OotRH is so much fun...I know I'm being RP whore-ish about it, but seriously, I'm basically every other post, and I don't want to start double-posting, but I don't want this to die! The posts have been so spread out, I've almost forgotten about Iago's black eye! The one that he got LAST RP NIGHT! Is it because I'm a creative writing major? Is that why I'm so obsessed with this? Because, again, I'm starting to feel that I'm the only one finding this important... Maybe it's the fact that writing as Iago and Cass actually makes me happy...
...Hm? Why don't I post in Perfect World, then?
...
...DAMMIT. (goes off to try to write a PW post)
Sorry I'm being a bitch today...Not like anyone's really going to care at all...I just...kinda wanted to write stuff down and see if it would make me feel better and it didn't...It just made me feel even more like snapped!Canada a lot worse...I just needed to cool down. Sorry.
