Dear Akainu/Sakazuki/Whoever the hell you are,

Would you mind DYING RIGHT NOW?

See, I need a Devil Fruit power involving fire. But I didn't want to take Ace's because I need my Devil Fruit user to have had his Devil Fruit power since childhood, and that would mess up the canon timeline very much. So I think, "Oh! Well, if Ace is fire, can my user be magma?" THEN LOOK WHO STEPS IN. YOU. MR. HIGH AND MIGHTY "I CAN TURN MY WHOLE BODY INTO MAGMA". NO. I NEED your fruit. Right now. I am quite pissed off at you, because my character for this fic NEEDS a Devil Fruit ability with some kind of fiery effect. And I also really, really wanted a Logia fruit. Really really really.

It's incredibly difficult for me to come up with another power. Perhaps the ability to transform his arm into a flamethrower? I don't know. But I know that you, sir, have completely thrown a wrench into my plans for this fic.

Damn you. I hope you fall in a tub of knee-deep water and drown.

Sincerely yours,
A ticked off OP fic writer