No Hope
No ones here to help, so now I'm
On the brink of suicide or destruction
Help me please!
On second thoughts don't
Please leave me alone and
Evoid me and save yourself
You Never Noticed
You never noticed when I cried
You never noticed when I was alive
But maybe now you will notice me
As seen as now I'm dead
Torn
Trapped between two worlds
Life and death
Down to me to choose
But I'm so confused
I don't know where to start
People say believe in your heart
Should I trust them?
Or should I ignore them?
My head is so messed up
Too many thoughts
Good and bad
I wish the voices would stop
It's my life to control
Not theirs
One voice saying yes
To death
The other saying no
They both have good points
That's why I'm still trapped here
Between both worlds
Bloody Black Rose
You gave me a black rose for my birthday
But only on the condition I told my fears
I sighed ever so slightly and took a seat
You listened silently, too silently as far as I was concerned
A couple of days later you died
The one person I was close to and trusted
Died because of my silly fears
The ones I had bottled up for so long
You hung yourself because of me
So I stand here over your grave
The black rose you had given me on my birthday in one hand
A bloody knief in the other
Blood flows down my wrist and over the rose
O place the bloody black rose on your grave
And hope you will never forget me
White Padded Cell Walls
Surronded by white padded walls
Locked away from the world
In hope of helping me
And making me better
Trying to give me reasons to live
The doctors and nurses
Do thier job and leave
No longer taking the time to talk to me
Not since that little incident
I tried to drown myself
In a bath of hot water
The nurse walked in and saved me
Not giving me a chance to finish what I had set out to do
So I'm staring as the white walls
Which surrond me
One little window
Made of plastic
In the top centre of the white door
The voiced are talking to me again
Telling me to wait
Telling me to be patient
Wait a few more minutes, the say
Let the nurses check on you first
Then you can leave this world of torment
I wait
I think
I daydream
I listen for the sound of approaching footsteps
time drags on, seeming like hours
When finally the nurse arrives
She checks then leaves
silence as she enters
Silence as she leaves
The moment she's gone the knief apprears
They had been so careful
Yet one small slip up
Is going to undo all thier so-called work
They had taken all my sharp objects away
Not letting me near a knief, a razorblade or something like that
But they slipped up
They gave me a knief with my food
Turning thier backs on me for a quiet little chat
I slipped the knief up my sleeve
Hiding it up til now
As I cut deep into my wrist
I write on the walls
Of my white padded cell
I write my goodbye lettter
My suicide letter in my own blood
Once finished
The darkness finally takes a hold
I greet it warmly
Sinking to the floor I utter my last words
"Goodbye cruel, Tomentative world...."