I finally got back into writing stuff, mainly poetry, but I'll sometimes to fanfics or short stories, essays, or just random excerpts from large things I do.
Currently working on:
Essay- French Pastries?
Poem- Heat
Poem- Blitz
Short Story- Against All Odds- Rhythmic Passion
Short Story- Against All Odds- Parabolic Chaos
Finished:
Poem- Out
Poem- Always
Poem- Expectation
Those three words. I couldn't stand them, and to this day I still don't like them. Spoken German test. I didn't study- I never do. I never think I need to until I get my test back with a really low grade. Speaking tests were even more annoying, because I was so used to speaking Chinese. Hell, I had that class right before German! I gave a classmate, Maia, a look of panic. She laughed and returned the expression. Well, at least I'm not alone. At least I know someone else is probably gonna fail as well. Better to fail in numbers, I guess.
One by one, the teacher called off names. Each student went to his desk, had to come up with a story based on a series of pictures, and that was it. Our grade depended on pronounciation, word order, and correctly conjugating verbs. Sure, I was gpretty good at that kind of stuff, but I was still nervous. I never did well on tests, even if I did really well on classwork, and not just in German. The only classes I was passing were English and Chinese.
I heard my name. Oh crap, I'm done for. Wait a minute, I was studying this before class started! Maybe I'm not done for! So, with a renewed confidence, I walked to his desk and started.
I was doing pretty well, for the most part. Not one mistake yet. And then I panicked. The person in the picture was watching TV. Okay, easy enough . . .or not. I couldn't remember the verb! I searched my brain for about thirty seconds, and then spoke.
"她看电视。"
"How about you repeat that in German, Kristi?"
Yup, my life was over. At least, my German-speaking one. Obviously my Chinese was still as polished as ever.
(Based on a true story)
Strained Pulsation
The cold air registers, and my eyes snap open. I’m not greeted by a familiar face, or the soft aura of light peeking through my bedroom window. Instead, artificial tungsten pierces my vision. I’m weak. I’m helpless.
The soft sounds—the beeps and whirring noises—are amplified by my ears. I try to tune them out, but the more I do, the louder they become. My ears can’t pick up any other sounds. I’m cold. I’m alone.
I try to make small movements. When I bent my wrists, I felt a strange internal motion. The equivalent happens with my right ankle, and when I turn my head to the left. I remembered that strange feeling—intra-venous lines. There are seven of them. I’m in pain. I’m trapped.
Finally, I assemble the strength to speak. I was going to ask about the whereabouts of my parents, but I simply couldn’t. My words were parried by three hollow plastic cylinders. They couldn’t have taken them out before I woke up? I’m stressed. I’m muted.
Annoyed by the strange obstruction, I raise my left hand. There, in front of my eyes, are three intra-venous lines, breaking the soft skin, how lovely. With that hand, I firmly grasped the cylinders, and pulled them out in one swift, fluid motion. Have you ever been hit by a frozen paintball in the neck when you’re not wearing armor? That’s exactly what it felt like; except it was an internal pain. I’m insane. I’m in distress.
Three metal contacts laced my collarbone. They were the watchdogs, making sure my pulse stayed stable. One of them fell off when I raised my arm. The monitors around me began to scream, and people started to flood the room. I, none the wiser, managed a polite greeting. I’m embarrassed. I can’t help but laugh.
One by one, the seven intra-venous gave their farewell. The one on my neck, however, decided to leave me a bit of a “parting gift,” if you will. My neck began to bleed profusely, and it took ten minutes to get assistance, and staunch the bleeding. I’m tired. I’m homesick.
After the intra-venous lines and the metal contacts said farewell, one tube remained. It was a thin one, resting on my leg, and running off of the edge of the bed. I made a mental note to ask about it later. I’m curious. I’m not sure if I even want to know. (I did find out, however. It’s not exactly the most pleasant place to have a tube.)
I couldn’t help but glance at my torso, at the re-opened battle scars. Two green knots sat perpendicular to my solar plexus. One long stretch of wire split the flat expanse in half. That one was dissolvable, but the green knots had to be removed. I’m annoyed. I’m about ready to punch the nurse in the face.
On the day I was scheduled to leave, I had a slight fever. In this case, it could have been fatal. My previously collapsed left lung had not fully recovered yet. I had some X-Rays done. The results weren’t fatal or dangerous, but I ended up staying for another two days. I’m scared. I want to go home.
Finally, after a week of pain and torture, I was allowed home. Still being mildly lethargic, I needed help doing most things. My brother helped me cook from time to time, my mother picked up my homework, and anything else I needed, while my father just gave emotional support, and transportation the day the rest of the stitches on my torso, neck (blame the IV line) and legs were removed.
Two weeks after being released, I was back in school. I still had limitations, but they were really not that exasperating. Even the people, who had once derided me, had begun to show a softer side, which was surprising, to be honest.
Being the inquisitive one in the family, I went online and looked up “Sub-aortic obstruction.” Apparently there’s no single cause of it, and it happens so slowly that it can’t really be noticed until it’s life-threatening. I got a letter from my cardiologist that same week. I had gone into cardiac arrest for ten minutes during the procedure. Way to scare an eleven-year-old-kid.
Don't be a n00b.
I took Visual Basic last year, and was the only girl in the class. All of the boys, at least for the first few months or so, seemed to think that they could disparage me, purely because I’m a girl. They played the gender card, so I stepped it up and played the skill card. I made a themed matching game, with various pictures and songs for each theme. It was only six-hundred or so lines of code (most of which was inserting the resources to the variables and randomizing them) but everyone loved it. There were a few errors, but those were simply logic errors, such as not changing the toolbar name after each run. Visual Basic is a business-oriented programming language, so creating a simple matching game is an example of the flexibility of technology. The dictionary definition of “technology,” in all it’s glory, is; “the branch of knowledge that deals with the creation and use of technical means and their interrelation with life, society, and the environment, drawing upon such subjects as industrial arts, engineering, applied science, and pure science.” Wow, that was a mouthful. Thanks, dictionary.com, for wasting half of the first paragraph.
When you hear “technology,” you most likely envision someone who never leaves their computer, and has no social life, right? Well, that may be your outlook, but the fact is wholly different. Technology has begun to influence everything around us. Clothing is made using machines, computers are used in close to every career field, and even the government has acknowledged the influence technology has had on us.
Technology has had a massive effect on novels for a while, but has just recently bloomed fully. It is shown as a part of downfall, surveillance, or just getting past a network block to play some video games on school grounds (which is pretty easy) Take the novel “Little Brother” by Cory Doctorow, for example. The school part of the book is set in has a comprehensive security system, but there are many flaws with it. Like the gait-recognition system, this sounds an alarm if someone has an unrecognized way of walking. This can happen if someone gets new shoes or suffers an injury, or, like the main character, puts small bags of gravel in their shoes. Hey, whatever works.
Now, on the topic of getting through a school’s network to play video games, it’s actually some pretty easy stuff. First part; change the program name. Say you need to run “Gimp 2.6” at school, but the administrative blocks won’t let you use it. Just rename the application file to “$SYS$Gimp 2.6” and it will act like a system program- hidden from the task manager, the user, and therefore, the network! You still have a problem, though, if you want to play online video games on school grounds. There's a loophole for that, too. All you need is something called an Onion Router. Everything you do is encrypted, and sent through multiple nodes, so you can't be traced. Of course, you need the actual Onion Router program on your flash drive, since having it in a network drive isn't exactly your best choice. Just get those two things, and you can be playing Jade Dynasty instead of doing that Chinese assignment in the computer lab. Would I ever do that? Probably not, since it seems like every time I break the rules, no matter how careful I am, I get caught. So I just don't bother risking it.
Technology is a very prominent subject in video games as well, even if you don't really notice it. In "Mirror's Edge," Merc uses GPS technology to track Faith and Celeste as they make their runs, and is able to contact them from anywhere. In "Kingdom Hearts 2," Ansem creates a virtual Twilight Town, in order to keep Roxas in line while Namine patches together Sora's memories, which were dispersed in Castle Oblivion. In the ".hack//GU" trilogy, technology is extremely important and influences every aspect of life, even home security and making purchases. Unfortunately, when a data anomaly known as "AIDA," which at first had benevolent intentions, started to put people into comas, action had to be taken to exterminate AIDA and bring them out of a coma. Once AIDA is exterminated, another threat approaches in the form of Cubia, which beings to put strain in Japan's entire network, which could have catastrophic result. Of course, the hero saves the day and gets the girl, in some cases. (There is a possible gay wedding event, which is extremely funny in my opinion. Haseo's face is just priceless!)
Music means different things to different people. To some, it's a waste of time, or a method of relaxation. For people like myself, it's a way of life. I've tried going without music before, and it was the worst day of my life. My favorite kind of music? Techno, J-Rock, and J-Hop and jazz. Techno obviously is derived from technology, since computers are used heavily in that genre. Even singers have been created using technology. Case in point- the Vocaloid series.Created by Yamaha and Crypton in Japan, Vocaloid takes vocal libraries from voice actors and singers, and creates a program that can be used to synthesize lyrics. Series 03, which was just released earlier this year, contained Megurine Luka (name translates to "A sound that travels the world") a bilingual Vocaloid with two libraries (English and Japanese) Of course, series 01 and 02 can be used for English songs, but they sound very synthesized and choppy, since you have to use Katakana for everything. There and also a few English Vocaloids out, such as Lola and Leon, but those aren't as popular as the mascot, Miku Hatsune (name translates to "Future of the First Sound.") The others in the 02 series and Rin and Len Kagamine (names translate to "Left and Right Mirrored Sounds") and use the same voice banks, just in different octave settings (Len is male, Rin is female.) There is also Gackpo, a Vocaloid using the voice data of the famous V-Kei singer Gackt. There are also fan-made Vocaloids, which are simply the official Vocaloids, just in different octaves.
Modern technology is complex, no doubt about it. It takes smart people to design it, build it, and fix it. Unfortunately, the IQ threshold for breaking it has become even lower than ever. My brother an I had this amazing custom computer called the Demon. (it looks like a demon's face, and it melted three CPU's) It was worth a few thousand dollars, but it needed a good cleaning with an air hose. So, we brought it to our friend's house. He cleaned it out, but forgot to put the fan back on the CPU before starting the computer. Now there's a hole in the middle of the CPU. He still owes us a new one. It was a 3.25gHz dual-core.
Why do people think programming is hard? If anything, it just takes logic, and the ability to break things down to their simplest components. That's where Carnegie Mellon came in with Alice. Alice is an IDE program that can be used to create simple animations and cool programs, while making it fun and easy for everyone. If you want to try out Alice for yourself, just go to www.alice.org and click "Download." Oh, and it's completely free.
Technology enables us to make things easier and safer, but there are always going to be people who hack into these things. I'll admit- I've done my fair share of hacking and exploiting loopholes, but I have a rather benevolent task at hand. As security gets smarter, so do criminals, homebrewers, software pirates, and hackers. I hack to expose flaws in security systems- and them implement my methods in reverse, to show how the security system can become more secure. In fact, that's what most hackers do, even if they don't realize it. I started with hacking for fun, now I have a cause. Of course, I stick to hacking my own computer. Sure, I've been asked to hack into bank accounts and the like before, but I've only been arrested once- the last thing I need is more criminal charges.
Technology is big now, and nobody's really sure of the future of it. I say the only limits for growth are in the minds and imaginations of the people. Oh, one final thing; stop making fun of geeks. Soon enough, we'll be your bosses.
(I've been working on this for a while, figured I'd use it for something cool. It's kinda long, but I originally intended for it to be come a full book, so I had to shorten it by a lot, so there is a bit of a time jump.)
Against All Odds: Rhythmic Passion
My name is Maya, but that’s not what I go by. I go by the name Hiroko. Why? I’m a vocalist, a quite well-known one, at that. I plan on touring Europe soon, but that was chance was ripped away, by the obnoxious tide that we are forced to call life. In one swift motion, I lost it all, with no chance of retrieval. It all started at an archery range, on my brother’s birthday.
The weather didn’t utterly suck. I mean sure, there were a few small clouds, but at least it was dry. With a bow in my left hand, and an arrow in my right, I took aim. I thought, nothing can go wrong today. In a week I start touring. There couldn’t possibly be anything to make this month- no, this year, even- suck. Oh man, was I wrong. My brother’s arrow caught the wind in such a strange manner; you’d swear it was magick. It wasn’t, and it almost ended my life. If you ask me, it should have.
The better part of what happened next was kind of a blur to me, since I was too occupied with the atrocious pain of an arrow sticking out of both sides of my neck to bother taking a good look at my surroundings. The weird thing was, I remember that I was still able to breathe as if nothing was there. I wasn’t sure, however, if that was a good thing or not. I mean, it could mean anything; that it missed by that much, that I’m having that one last hopeless burst of life before I go, that it may have saved my life, but it ended up messing up something else, most likely irreparably. My luck just kinda goes that way; I am the black cat after all, so the first possibility is obviously out. I’ve always learned to expect the worst, so the second one seems rather likely. Of course, there’s the whole equivalent exchange thing, so the third one doesn’t seem so far away. Still, the feeling of possibly dying in my prime- it’s the kind of thing that can send shivers along the spines of even the bravest of people. I don’t want it to end like this, but are there really any alternatives? Well, whatever this is, I doubt it can be good at all. After looking at various CT scans and X-Rays and MRI’s, the doctor finally speaks. "We can remove it without doing much damage to your breathing. At most, you’ll get winded easily for a month or so." Well, sounds like things are looking up. Yeah, don't get your hopes up too much. "The arrow missed your trachea by a few millimeters. However, it severed your vocal cords and poked a small hole in your larynx." Oh no. Hell no. Doesn’t that mean that my voice- the one thing I’ve depended on the most- is completely gone?! It’s just not possible! I won’t allow it! I stole a piece of paper and a pen, and started writing. "I’m assuming that means the Europe tour is out, huh?" He just nodded. I always thought that doctors were supposed to make you feel better, not worse! Alright, they’re supposed to keep you from dying, but his face is so impassive and stoic, honestly! I mean, this singing thing- I was very dependent on it. Maybe, a bit too dependent, if I start panicking when it's taken away. Oh well.
One year later
It's been exactly one year since the archery accident, and I've seemed to drift farther away from my family. My brother and I have made our own sign language, so that I can still communicate with him, since I can't speak or anything. I've really become quite an accomplished writer, with a novel due to be out in bookstores relatively soon. It's a basic love story with a twist- girl meets boy, girl falls in love, boy is really a well-disguised girl. I've also dipped my feet into computer hardware. I can say from experience, to never flip the red switch on the back of the computer and plug it in. It'll explode, how fun. I did that with a client's computer, and I ended up having to buy him a new system. Thankfully his hard disks weren't fried. Overall I've adjusted to having no voice, but still I dream of having it back sometimes. I know, it's a far off dream, but still.
So, even though life has returned to being as normal as it can get, my mother has become even worse. Everything I do, she finds one little thing to complain about, even if she knows nothing about it. How exasperating. So, we got into a fight over the government's take on homosexuality, since she's anti-gay, and I'm well, gay. she thinks that the feds not recognizing same-sex marriages is a good thing, since apparently marriage is between a man and a woman, on her terms. She fights with religion and assumptions, and I fight back (in writing or actions, or course) with logic and reasoning and fact. So, one fay, she just got me horribly pissed, and somehow, I yelled at her "Alright, so if homosexuality is a sin, does that mean I'm going to Hell? Huh?" Now, my first thought wasn't what her reaction would be to that, but it was "Holy crap, I can talk?"
So, my story isn't as bittersweet as I expected. I got a girlfriend, the Europe tour was put back on after a bit of vocal re-training, and I got kicked out of my house. Heh, no big deal, I've been looking for reasons to get out of there.
(I know it could be better, but I had to condense it from it's original length. Duibuqi!)
