~not looking for sympathy or attention, just getting it out. if you don't wanna hear me be emo just scroll down to the pic at the bottom and tell me what you think of that at least :) (written after writing whats below, feeling better now)
I need to rant about myself. things that really piss me off about myself:
1; ambition: I have none. I'm a senior right now in my last semester of high school and failing two of my classes. I have no drive to do homework or work of any kind. but thats just school right? wrong. I have tons of unfinished work at home, comics i want to do, projects, commisions, shows, but all i do is nothing, videogames, stumbleupon and other time wasting things. I have about 30 fancomics on TheOtaku alone that have been gathering dust. I have no drive to finish or work on them. my sketch books are filled with comics that i've never posted online and that are only half done. good thing i like small housing because I doubt i'll ever live in anything bigger then a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom appartment in some shitty neighborhood. I'd be terrible in all the jobs I wanna do. Animation, game design, dog training.
-Animation; no drive, tedious animating that i would fail at because of no ambition
-Game Design; long four year projects. I want to do concept art but i cant even do two paintings for my parents
-Dog training; I love dogs but I get easily annoyed if they are misbehaving and would cave in to them or quit on them.
2: just a loser in general; I have no interests other then videogames, movies, drawing and dogs. I'm terrible at standing up for myself, Its really hard for me to get my frustration out. I tend to give up easily. I've only had two boyfriends, not bad if they had been longer then 3 month relationships. my first boyfriend was out of state and we never kissed more then a peck. My second i was to nervous or scared to go anywehre with and we only held hands once. I don't really like highschool relationships but still, i find it increadably irritating that i can't have had something a little better before college.
thats my rant about myself. how mad I am and how i'm setting myself up for failure. this was my way of getting it out. thanks. while i was coming up with my rant i did a drawing wanna see?
fuck me and my fantasy drawings. they're stupid.
