An Angel

'This world is so far away,'
so spoke the broken-hearted angel.
She cried that night.
Where was her dark-hearted sinner?
Where was the security he promised?
She called his name,
but her only response
was her teardrops spilling onto the floor.

'This world is filled with pain,'
So spoke the broken-hearted angel.
She sighed that night.
Where was her love?
Where was the joy he promised?
She called his name,
but her only response
was her blood pouring onto the floor.

'This world is not mine,'
so spoke the broken-hearted angel.
She lied that night.
Where was her saviour?
Where was the redemption he promised?
She called his name,
but her only response
was her body crashing to the floor.

The broken-hearted angel spoke no more.
She died that night.
Where was her dark-hearted sinner?
Where was the life he promised her?
He called her name,
but he had no response.
Instead,
his eyes met his love's.
And he himself,
fell to the floor.

Cruel Redemption

A broken hearted angel cries tonight,
apparently her world was far too much to take today.
A dark hearted sinner tries to make things right,
but, every word is too hard to say.
He speaks, but nothing is said.
Which only left her feeling dead.

A broken hearted angel lies tonight,
apparently she would give up all she had.
A dark hearted sinner puts up a fight,
he'd knew that suicide was only a fad.
He'd begged her to only try.
Tears spoke her words as she continued to cry.

A broken hearted angel sighs tonight,
apparently she'd accepted defeat.
A dark hearted sinner holds her tight,
listening to the echos of her heartbeat.
Like a lethal gun shot,
each beat killed him on the spot.

A broken hearted angel dies tonight,
apparently her heart had given in.
A dark hearted sinner holds her in the light,
relieved of all his sin.
A stealthy shadow, at the least.
That is all he'd ever been.
The angel spoke to the beast,
"May my world be all you win."

Dear Vincent

Desiree’ Pena

September 6, 2008

[DEAR VINCENT]

I Can’t Breathe; I Can’t Think . . . Help. . .

Dear Vincent,
It’s been a year since you were declared dead.
It’s been so long, and I can’t believe how long.
Well, I know I miss you.
And, I know it’s been hard without you.
But, I hope you’re finally happy now.
I tried.
I really did.
But, I wasn’t much help was I?
I thought I mattered to you.
But, I guess I was wrong again.
Vincent, you were so stupid back then,
I wish you were different.
I wish you would have changed.

I managed to find ten things I had always hated,
And we both deserve to know.
Even now,
Everything can change.
Or,
At least I hope so.
Well, here goes:

1.) I hate that you were self-centered.
A lot of times I didn’t feel like I mattered.
I felt that you thought that I wasn’t important.
You always seemed to come first.
I always put you first.
But,
I was never that lucky.
You couldn’t do the same for me.
Did I even matter to you?

2.) I hate that you couldn’t be happy with what you had.
You complained so much,
I gave you everything
I fixed every wrong I had,
Every wrong you found.
But,
You couldn’t fix me,
Just like I couldn’t fix you.
But, I tried.
So, why weren’t you happy?

3.) I hate that you couldn’t say what was on your mind.
I KNOW you were in pain.
I could always feel it.
But,
You never told me.
I could have helped.
I could have saved you.
I could have understood you.
But,
You wouldn’t let me.
Why couldn’t you tell me?

4.) I hate that you wanted to be invisible.
I wish I could have changed that,
But,
I could never do a thing.
Not thing that mattered to you.
I wanted you to love you like I loved you.
But,
You couldn’t see yourself like I could.
Why would you even wish that?

5.) I hate that you were a jerk to everyone.
Everyone cared,
But,
You pushed everyone away.
Even me,
You told me that I was your everything,
That I couldn’t be replaced,
But,
You only saw yourself in my reflection.
Sometimes,
You didn’t care how I felt,
You thought you did.
But,
You only thought of you.
Why couldn’t you feel everyone’s concern?

6.) I hate that you hurt yourself to numb your pain.
Vincent,
I tried to help you,
I was there,
I was always there,
I’m STILL here.
And I would always help you through anything.
I know your past,
I lived it with you.
I felt your pain, just like you felt mine.
Vincent,
I loved you.
I never wanted you to be in pain.
Why would you hurt me by hurting yourself?

7.) I hate that you worked yourself to death,
Literally.
It hurts me to know that you never stopped.
You worked so hard.
You said it was all for me.
That hurt me even more.
I wanted you to stop.
I wanted you to rest,
Because,
I loved you.
You said you wouldn’t close your eyes as long as I loved you.
You said you would work so we could be happy.
Did you love me that much that you never stop trying to show me how you felt?

8.) I hate that used how I felt for your gain.
Vincent,
I loved you.
I still love you.
You used that against me.
Until,
You fell in love with me.
You apologized,
But,
The pain never left.
How could you do that to me?

9.) I hate that you couldn’t look me in the eyes.
When you left me,
You hurt me so bad.
But,
You loved me so much,
That you couldn’t leave me that way.
You said my eyes were filled to the brim with sadness,
But,
You couldn’t look away.
You said you wouldn’t let me take you back so easily,
Because you added onto my pain.
How could you be so hard on yourself?

10.) I hate that you embedded your memory into my heart.
I don’t want to ever love another.
I don’t want anyone taking your place.
I love you.
I only see you.
You’ll always be mine.
I’ll always keep the hurt if it means I keep you.
These words aren’t easy,
But,
I can live without you,
I just can’t live the way you want me to.
Because,
I’m alone without you.
Don’t you think you took this way too far?

Well, I guess when you lose someone you say, “But” a lot.
I guess I shouldn’t be crying anymore. (Why am I crying . . .?)
I guess I haven’t stopped thinking of you. (Why can’t I stop . . . ?)
I wish I never loved you. (Why do I still love you . . .?)
Whoever said it’s better to have loved than lost didn’t understand this. (They couldn’t have understood. . .)
How can you go back after this? (There is no back. . .)
How can I love after you? (There’s just no way. . .)
How can I forget you after this? (There is no forgetting. . .)

Vincent, I still love you.
And, I would NEVER wish for you to come back and suffer.

Vincent's Final Gift

Time goes by as we all know,
and over time our love can grow
into something too great to bear
all I ask is that you care.
May you may, or may you not
many a battle I fought.

"But," I state
for I am late
to denounce my admiration.
"No longer shall I find you with upmost fascination."

And over time my love can fade
I'll still cherish the promise we made
we will remain as we are. . .
even though we are bazarre. . .
I can not say if it shows
although day after day it grows.

"But," I say
throughout the day
"That was all for you.
Looking back now I always knew."

Time slows down on certain days
and over time it turns to haze.
I know tomorrow varies,
we shall see what it carries.

"But," I ruse
ignite the fuse of this paper heart.

Many a day I toss and turn
and wonder what I thought I learned.

"Not a thing," I declare.
I wasn't fair
to ponder the notion of a love potion
and before long you'll hear the gong
but,
the clock strikes one
for the one task I left undone.

"But," I coo
The one thing left to do
Is tell you. . .
"I Love You."

"I do, please don't forget that. I need time away to sort myself out. I may not come back again. . .I'm so sorry. I know you're crying. . .don't. I don't want you to shed tears over me anymore."

Love, Vincent Diasuke Naoto.

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I'll be putting some up later on!