So.....my summer vacation was awesome, but first just a quick clarification of one more thing from yesterday's post, when I said I "messed around" with photo editing...I mean just that, by no means do I think that I'm good at digital graphics. (In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm terrible...) I like technology as much as the next otaku, & I think I understand the ins and outs of my computer well enough, but that's as far as it goes. When it comes to artwork give me my pen and paper please.
Anyway, summer....well, it's still summer even if I have work tomorrow & all the stores have their fall clothes out, but...vacation....I guess you could say I took two really, with a brief interlude of work to help out the new kids (it sucked, btw). During the second one (last Thurs-today) I went to 夏コミ (more on that in a different post where I have space for more pics!), hung out w/Hachi, saw the latest Naruto movie (it wasn't that great, Kakashi had waaaaaay too small a part) and did some cleaning & shopping. Most of the week I just sat around wishing I could keep my purple hair & counting down the days till I had to dye it back to some semblance of a normal color. But anyway......what I really wanted to post about now was the first "vacation" I took (July 24-Aug 3).
...can't breathe when I'm around her...
My wifey came to visit!
She promised that she would when she left a year ago, and she really did. Not that I had any reason to doubt her. We've talked about this every week since she left. So it was nearly two whole weeks of eating together, sleeping together, shopping together, um.....actually, that's pretty much all we did, eat, sleep, and shop. That sounds pretty bad, huh.....we did go down to Osaka for one crazy night with Tricia (the "me" of Hawaii) that turned out to be something like 72hrs long....
....oh, we also took a ridiculous amount of purikura. A long time ago there was one of a bunch of us that everyone said looked like a poster for a TV drama. I think this one might be even more so....
Anyway......gah, I can't seem to stop saying 'anyway'....losing my train of thought too easily in the early morning (of 11:45 am...) Having Stacey back was amazingly good for me, but at the same time, maybe it wasn't? I mean.....she was back and it was like she never left - a lot of people said it, including her, but I think I felt it differently than they did - it was so easy to slip back into being what we were, what I "was" when she lived here. And while I love her, and love being with her, at the same time....there's this sense of codependency that might not be the best thing in the world. Especially when after she left I felt lonelier than I have all year. It was like all the misery of her leaving was held back by the way we didn't get to say goodbye properly the first time (check here for detalis, not writing it again) and came out in my fury at having to once again teach a bunch of idiots how to do their job the very next day. (Ok, so to be fair, I wouldn't have been nice about that no matter the circumstances...) I thought for sure I'd cry when she left this time. It was all too short, too fast, too busy to even remember clearly, but when we stood on the platform at the train station all I could think was, 1. I'm such an ass for spending too much money and not being able to take her to the airport, and 2. I have to comfort her if she starts to say sad stuff about this. Which she did, and I did, and then the train came and I carried her suitcase onto it, hugged her, and then went back outside to "get out of people's way". And I stood there and waited, and waited....for 8 whole minutes watching her talk to the old man next to her with her cute smile shining just like always. And I waited, and I thought I would cry, but.......I couldn't. It's always that way. The times when I feel like I'm really miserable and I should be crying, nothing happens. It's like I'm in shock or something.
The train left, and I went home, and went on about my life. She texted me when she got home, just like always. I got random texts about random things from Pin, just like always. Put my headphones on and drew for hours and hours at work just like always. Thought about how much better it was with her here. How much happier everyone was. Wished for a way to split myself in half so there'd be two girls again. Wished briefly that I was the type to make friends with other girls since that'd solve things way faster. And even more briefly that I wasn't so much of an "俺様 type" so I wouldn't be angered by these things in the first place. Pushed them out of my mind so I wouldn't take them out on people who I know (I know) aren't trying to hurt me.
...you're falling, who's crashing now?
Oh, when I said I wasn't going to use other people's art as a theme on my World, by no means was I also saying I was going to quit posting it to express my mood. Go ahead, call it a double standard, I dare you.
