I'm sick and dying. The worst thing I could possibly be doing right now is posting on the internet. Today something happened though that I've done my best to burn into my brain and I feel I want to try to describe it. Later, when I read this I hope I'll be satisfied. I want to remember that moment forever. There's only been one other time that I forcibly placed an image in my brain and did everything possible to keep it there and that was the last time I saw the one I love most. I focused harder than ever on the darkness of his eyes so I would never forget the color that's so close to black it can't be called anything other than darkness.
Today, it's a completely different image. At the bus stop this morning I met someone. She could have been a great character in a manga I'm sure of it. She was a young mother of two girls, possibly younger than me but it's hard to say with Japanese people. From the moment they arrived I felt I wanted to talk to them. Maybe it was the way the little one stared at me (as babies are wont to do) or maybe it was the way the older one hopped around in her cute little coat and muffler with fluffy balls all over it. Maybe it was the fact that I saw Mt. Fuji as I left the building, or maybe it was the way the mother nervously checked the bus schedule and looked up and down the street in confusion. Either way, despite the fact that it was barely 8am and I hate mornings, despite my hat, sunglasses, gloves & ipod, I wasn't the least bit upset to find the woman asking me questions.
They were going to the train station to then head out to visit the grandma in......somewhere I had a hard time hearing thanks to the earflaps of my hat that was far too excessive for a day like today but I felt the need to wear anyway because of my cold. I'm always nervous about talking to people outside of school because the topics of conversation tend to lean away from my area of comfort (ie. kids and how to teach them English or me and everything related to me) but she was really nice I could tell right away. We chatted about the bus being late, my Japanese ability, nothing important, but it was nice. In the back of my mind I thought, "she could be Hachi in an alternate reality. Why is she going to the kids' grandma's? Why on a Wednesday morning? Why doesn't she know anything about the bus and how long it takes to get to the station?" I could write a million stories about this woman's life and I met her for 5 minutes tops.
Through it all the older girl hopped and stamped around to ease her boredom. Her mother tried to get her to talk to me but, being old enough to know better but not quite old enough to be brave she couldn't bring herself to speak to a strange foreigner wearing sunglasses. I took them off. It always helps. I asked her how old she was, and when she said 5 of course I told her "wow! that's so big!" and she brightened right up. The bus came 5 minutes late packed to the gills with people who I felt sure should have been at work already by that time, especially on a non-rain day. One woman got off at our stop so there was room for at least one of the four of us, and the 3 others who'd collected during our conversation to get on. I knew if I didn't get on I'd miss the only bus to the mountain elementary school I was visiting today, but I wanted more than anything to be sure she got to the station ok. It's not far away and it's not a dangerous area, but she had to hold the little one........
The people in the doorway of the bus didn't look happy about seeing us standing on the side of the road one bit. None of them even made an effort to make space that I could see. Jerks. I wanted to scream at all of them, "Can't you see this woman? She's got two kids!" The bus driver at least was determined to do his job and refused to shut the door despite the rude people not letting anyone in. I wanted to just push my way in, but I hesitated. If I did they were sure to be left behind, I thought, so I started to usher them onto the bus ahead of me. Sadly, the bus driver called out over his microphone, "It's impossible for those little kids to get on. Wait for the next bus please. Just one person for now." in Japanese of course........
She didn't look at all upset, but stepped back and let me go ahead of her. I said I was sorry, but she shook her head like it was nothing. I was sure she had been worried about making a certain train. The stupid people on the bus still didn't move, but looked resigned to their fate as I slid my card through the machine. As I squeezed onto the bottom step and the door shut behind me I turned around to see the 5 year old girl, whose name I hadn't been brave enough to ask, waving frantically with a huge smile on her face. I smiled and waved back. As the bus started to move her mother leaned down and whispered something then made a gesture towards her mouth. And then the girl blew me a kiss. Face beaming she waved until I couldn't see her anymore, and maybe after. I hope all those nasty people were watching closely too. I wonder if it made them remember anything from childhood. I hope so. I hope today was different for them because of her like it was different for me.
Keep on reaching...........it's not that far.
