Recently, I think I've been changing a lot really fast. Like, in my head, that is. So many things happened this Spring that I wanted to write about. I had good opening lines for so many stories in my head. And more things just kept happening. I kept telling myself, I'll do it soon. I'll do it later. I'll do it........sometime.......eventually. And now they're mostly forgotten.
I went to Comiket & it was awesome. I went on vacation with my friends. I went on vacation with my dad. I started a new project for work on a whim & somehow got a lot of good attention because of it. The new school term started & I had to say goodbye to some of my favorite students ever. I almost did a few things that could've turned out really badly. No time to dwell on it now though. The days keep moving forward.
Recently, I think about drawing more and more. Think about how I wish I was doing it when I'm stuck doing something else. Or when I'm stuck wasting time because I have to be somewhere in order to keep things working right. I think I'd be pretty happy if I could do nothing but draw all day long. Too bad there are things like dishes and laundry and life keeping me from doing it.
I've taken to writing stuff in a notebook during school. Just random stuff that comes into my head. It's nothing good, writing wise. I'm really bored at my current school, but I can't bring myself to do anything to get involved since I'm only there for 10 more days. It was only 19 to begin with. Kinda sad when you think about it. So I study, & write stuff, & pretend to study, & count the hours.
It's less than a month now till my 30th birthday. Strangely, I'm not all that concerned about it. I thought I would be, the way people hype it up so much, but I'm not. I find myself looking forward to my birthday the same as every year. It's my birthday after all. It's the day I always loved most but wouldn't tell anyone else about. 
At first I thought I'd like to just be 30 & get it over with so I could stop being 29 & worrying about turning 30, but now I guess I can't help but be a kid about my birthday.
Recently, I feel like my mind is working too quickly. Speeding almost. It's not a bad feeling, but sometimes a scary one. It jumps from place to place without any permission from me whatsoever. I can't seem to focus as well as I'd like to, in an impatient sort of way. I can't seem to say or even think about things clearly.
It always amazes me the amount of things other people are able to do. Like, all at once, all in one day, they just work on stuff, and accomplish stuff. Me, I spend more time thinking than anything else. It's overwhelming at times, all the stuff in my head. I wonder if I could turn it off, if then I'd be able to spend more time doing stuff.
I remember one thing I wanted to write.
I looked at this picture from our trip to Kobe a while after we got back & I thought, "This would look completely different if someone else had taken it." If Sarah took it, Pin, Brian & I would all be grinning like idiots with our arms around each other's shoulders. If Pin took it, it'd be all cool & artistic, with the other three of us all in contrasting views. If Brian took it.....well, none of us would be in it most likely. Just the tower & some random Japanese chick he thought was hot. My perspective is always this one though.
