So now that Riku (or some form of Riku) is in the game I can't help but wonder where Kairi is in all of this. Did she go on vacation? Did we just forget about her? Is she not important enough for Journal/Data!Riku to put her in the digital world? Why no Kairi? She plays a large role in motivating Sora in KH1 and now that he doesn't need that motivator does he not need Kairi? Or perhaps... she will appear later, as BAMF as ever!

• Yay we’re in one of my favorite worlds… as long as there is no Phil’s Training.
• Olympuuuuuuuuuus Coliseuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
• Oh and now Riku gets to talk to us… loverly.
• So a bug that’s messing with the link is here, kay…
• Oh and it’ll be in the keyhole, but of course.
• “Okay I’ll be back before you can say ‘bug spray.’”
• “Bug spray.” RIIIIIKU!
• Oh and we can go back to worlds we’ve debugged… or as Riku says it “accessing an emulated version of the world’s data.” Or as I say “gesundheit.”
• “Ugh… Just run me over with a chariot now!” Two munny on it being Phil!
• “All right, that’s your cue. Go save the world, hero.” Riiiiikuuuu~ Hearing his disembodied voice chucking is like, the best thing ever.
• So there’s Phil staring at a wall of blox. He tells us Herc went in to go sort it out but that was a while ago. Well I know a blue-eyed beau who could fix your blox problem.
• But Phil is all like “Only a hero could get past those but all I see’s me and some… kid?” The "..." stemming from the fact Sora just smashed the blox.
• Sora, he is rather direct…
• Oh hey a keyhole! That was… fast?
• So Sora thinks that Herc somehow ended up in the keyhole, whoops! Time to go save his skirted-butt!
• Phil’s four-word piece of advice: “One… victory… at a… time!” Well… that’s the closet he’s gotten in a while.
• Into the keyhole we go!
• The Coliseum has got itself a mighty blox infestation, and a piece of paper? Obtained “a shred of wisdom.” Whaaaat?
• “Glitches in the Coliseum have caused massive changes to your abilities and how you fight. Most deck commands, your shortcut command, and the Loot Cheat have all been disabled.” WELL FUDGE ME! “You can lower the difficulty to make battle in the Coliseum easier, but be warned: doing so even once will reduce the value of the rewards you receive at the end.” D: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY IT THEN?!
• Sora and Mickey have an ‘omg so many glitches’ conversation which leads to Mickey saying “It looks like the Coliseum’s turned into a labyrinth.”
• So are we gonna be fighting a Minotaur?! Or a Goblin King!?
• “I’m picking up some $trange features 1n thé m0r1d @round you.” Uh… I’m picking up some $trange features 1n the w@y y0u t@1k… And then our feed with Mickey dies. Joy!
• Oh look, the battles are turned-based…
• Oh hi Hades! He… monologues? About how much he hates Herc and what a loser Sora is and WE GET IT ALREADY!
• Oh hey Herc! “This is one doozy of a maze, it almost makes me miss Phil’s Training.” Really? I’d take a maze over Phil’s Training any day.
• Moving on up! To the second floor! I don’t know the rest of this soooong!
• Now there is another new thing that can help us in battles: license?
• After wandering around for a bit Hercules joins our party!
• After more wandering Hades decides it’s time to monologue again. He isn’t the one causing the glitches but that isn’t going to stop him from being a bad guy. Looks like he’s sending SOMEBODY after us to give us wedgies… or something.
• Onto floor three!
• Our mysterious foe, CloudCloud, wants to know if defeating Sora/Herc will open up a road to a new world?
• “Exactamundo, Spike.” Hades you are a bright speck of sunshine on a cloudy day.
• Cloud wants to know what being a hero is? Or… I don’t understaaaaaaaand!
• More wandering and then CLOUDCLOUD! WHY SO SAD CLOUDCLOUD?
• Well it looks like we’re gonna fight!
• After punching Cloud in the head a few times he starts off on a tangent and I have no idea what he’s talking about but luckily Hades interrupts by throwing a fireball at the lot of us.
• With… that out of the way it’s up to floor four!
• “Ugh, I should have known he was a pinhead from the haircut.” Hades is really into monologues these days. Anyhoo he knows who/what is guarding the ‘exit’ so… okay?
• Looks like Cloud followed us up and has gotten attacked by Heartless.
• He, of course, doesn’t let us help so Herc suggestions we sneak on down to where he is and help out anyway. Gotta love Herc!
• Once we get there he’s gone… but as soon as you turn around there is in the room we just came from.
• So maybe that wing does have some use after all?
• And now we get to fight alongside Cloud!
• Afterwards Cloud joins our party! Because Sora can adorable his way into even the CLOUDIEST of hearts. Oh the puns!
• Oh hey a big door, let’s go through it and up to floor five!
• Yay a save room, I was terrified that like the last few boss battles there haven’t be one.
• “Well, you two can call it quits, but me?” You what Cloud? “Not interested.” Yes, big burly Cloud doesn’t need a muscle man or jail bait to defeat the big bad.
• So there’s a big gate… that’s never good.
• “Yeah. Ain’t no getting’ off the train we’re on now.” Does Cloud have abandonment issues? Why am I even asking, of course he does.
• So we’re fighting Cerberus, because like the Trickmaster, he needs the moneyz. For steaks.
• Sora is worried about how to beat something this big but Cloud, the monster wrangler that he is, is all like ‘pffft.’
• Yaay we beat up a doggie!
• “Uh, ‘scuse me, aren’t you forgetting a few loose ends? Yeah, hi, I’m right here.”
• And now we fight Hades!
• With Hades defeated we’ve fixed the keyhole and I get my first star ranking on a world, which I’m guessing is pretty good seeing as how I got three bonuses and all. I also unlocked layer 6-15 which could be fun (after I get through the main storyline) especially if Herc and Cloud are still in my party.
• “Holy Hera! You guys made it back in one piece!” “Oh ye of little faith.” Marry me, dialogue writer, I am yours!
• “What, the schlimazel with the perky haircut?” YOUR BABIES, DIALOGUE WRITER, I WILL CARRY THEM FOR YOU!
• GATHERING DATA… ASSEMBLING DATA… DATA RECOVERY… 10% Huh?
• Back with the Castle Gang (which now includes Journal/Data!Riku) Donald is surprised there isn’t a random video popping up on the screen.
• Riku explains that those were memories from the journal that got remembered after Sora got rid of the bugs.
• I just… I don’t understand anything anymore. Can’t I just kill some Heartless?
• Pete? Why is Pete here? Pete from KH2?! Was he the hacker from before?
• He dashes off and, of course, Mickey sends Data!Sora after him.