Well. I always remembered that this place existed, thought about the times I spent in the chatroom talking to people while reading manga I definitely shouldnt have been reading as a teenager.
I feel like an entirely different person from the 16 year old girl who made this profile. I'll allow myself to wax expository a little bit, considering that the people here all saw who I was then and I can't be embarassed about it and try to hide it. You all had to put up with it! So in case you're still here.
Hello, from beyond the internet graveyard.
My isn't Rachael anymore, and it hasn't been for some time. I'm no longer 16, or a girl. I don't watch nearly as much anime anymore, though as my profile attests Tsubasa is still my favorite animemanga series. Most of my other accounts on the internet were under the username "labcoatraven". I deleted tumblr and twitter recently, and time will tell if I decide to migrate to another site like pillowfort, or dreamwidth, or wordpress. I do still draw (a bit) and I can confidently say at least I'm better at it now than I was when I posted the drawings here. I'll try not to feel too ashamed of the girl who was just having fun with her friends (irl and online) in highschool.
("I <3 yaoi"...what was I THINKING?!)
Contrary to my usual modus operandi, I thought this place deserved to stay. But I wanted to give it one last post. A marker of things having changed, and this no longer holding relevancy to me except as a roadside signpost of where things had been. A person who is perhaps still here in some shape, beneath the layers of person I've added on top of her. I can't bring myself to erase the details on the myOtaku profile, change my description on here. Much as these things make me cringe, I can't wipe that part of myself off the internet for good. I may make another profile on here; I took the time to change my email so its now tied to something I have access to. I don't want to add anything to this one, but I do want to keep it. If I make a new profile I might even link it here.
There are so few things that have survived of Rachael. I've lost so much of her as I've lost connections with all the people that knew her. "Aethelwynne" is one thing that I can have. Her art, her friends, this tiny bright snapshot of her world. Parts of myself that I felt were lost still exist here, and I am painfully thankful for that. So.
Thank you. For having been here.
-L
