Today, I saw a dog.
It was right in front of a house, tied to a leash.
This was the same kind of dog that Toto, from the Wizard of Oz, was.
As I was walking by, I told that to the dog, as it just watched me go on. I told it "You are just like me, tied to a leash. Well, bye dog."

Today, I had piano lessons.
My dad said that today was going to be my last piano lesson. Can you imagine that? My last lesson, possibly ever. He said that it's a waste, since I no longer have a recital to look forward to. He said that it's pointless and a waste of time.
I don't understand. It's all ready not fair. I don't get to do what I want in college, and now you have to take this away from me? I learn things. I'm still learning music. I thought we had arranged for me to keep going until before I leave for Madrid. Why do you continue to take away music from me? It's not a waste. It's not. You never supported me like I wanted you to, you didn't even show up to my first and last spring choir recital. You're always reluctant to attend anything of the arts, even if I'm a part of it.
Tears taste salty. It's already hot, so having them run down my face just makes me wish I were away at the beach, or at least, anywhere but here.
What kills me is that I can see your point of view, and it makes sense...but can't I be irrational for once?
If I go out of state, then it's Pre-PT. If I stay in-state, it's Speech Therapy. I was talking to someone awhile ago, and they asked me where I was going. I told them my options, and when I mentioned the out of state one, they asked "Huh. Why there?" Honestly, that was a question that really threw me off guard. "Indeed, why there?" I thought to myself. I answered her by saying it's a really good college and my parents wanted me to go there, then shifted the topic a bit. But it's true. What if the only reason why I decided to apply there was because my parents pushed it so much. Where was the college I wanted to go again? Oh, right-Ithaca...but there's several factors that make that a "not-gonna-happen-dream." I have a friend, and she said the thought of the one out of state just sounds so home-like. Well, when I was up there, I did not feel at home at all. I was intimidated, and I felt lost...it was quite similar to when I went missing at the Colosseum. Before I visited that university, I had visited two other colleges before hand, and I liked being in one of those previous ones a lot more than being on that campus that I'm thinking about going to.

Either way, I fear making music and creating art will have to surrender to my classes in the fall. I was looking at a hypothetical schedule, and I'm going to be suffering a lot.

Well, I'm done venting for now. My emotions have died down a bit, thank goodness. Well at least, they've been buried again. You know how there's that law about conservation of energy? Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. That's how I feel about my emotions. I can't destroy them, no matter how much I might want to. I can't create them either, unfortunately. I can try to, but then that's called 'acting.' Instead, I do all that I can to remain 'calm' and bury everything inside, only to let it all out when I find myself alone thinking about my life, or getting lost in memories. I guess that's not the best way to deal with things, but that's my way of functioning. I'll even let you in on a secret. You know how people say that they want someone to "catch them when they fall?" Well, to be honest, the thought of falling is scary, but the thought of someone trying to catch you is pretty scary in itself as well. What if they only felt an obligation to catch you, just because you were falling, or what if they didn't mean to catch you, it just happened. I guess I haven't mastered how to deal with that kind of awkwardness quite yet. Huh.