"That's it, Ed," she growled, here jewel toned eyes glimmering with unshed tears. "I'm done. I can't take this anymore."
I stood, stunned, unable to do anything but watch her tear through our apartment, throwing everything she knew was hers into large toolboxes. I knew that there was nothing I could do to make her stay. I knew that there was no possible way that I could make up for this.
Today was Winry's birthday, and I was being deployed by the Military. Again. And before I'd gotten the call from Mustang, I hadn't even remembered what today was. Again. Before this was our anniversary. Before that, Valentine's Day. I think the only major event I didn't forget was Christmas, and even then I was only home on furlough for two days.
I knew I deserved this.
She stopped in front of me, big, black, metal boxes in each hand. I looked into her eyes, trying to find my voice, trying to tell her I would do better, that she didn't have to go, when suddenly her tears started pouring down her cheeks.
I stepped forward to comfort her. She stepped back.
"Winry, I'll-"
"You'll what? Start trying remembering things? Give up Alchemy? Quit the Military? Spend more time with me? You've promised me all those things before. And here we are."
It was impossible not to see the hate in her eyes when she said that. She sincerely hated being with me. I didn't blame her.
"I love you," I said, hearing that my voice was barely a dry whisper. "So much."
"I love you, too. I've tried to make this work out because of that, but . . ." She dipped her head and shrugged her shoulders. "It didn't. I'm sorry."
Without even realizing my legs were moving, I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. A single tear of my own rolled off of my cheek and soaked into her soft blond hair. I rested my chin on the top of her head, and she substituted putting her arms around me with quickly pressing herself closer to me in a bad imitation of a hug.
"Please," I murmured. "Don't go. I need you . . ."
She laughed and shoved me away. "No, Ed. You don't need me. You don't need anyone. All you need is Alchemy, and that's why we're-"
"Don't say it." I knew that as soon as she did, I would break. I really didn't want to do that in front of her.
"We're-"
"Don't say it," I interrupted again with a little more force.
"We're over! I'm leaving, and I'm never coming back!"
The fire in her eyes burned the rope that was keeping me together. As I unraveled internally, I sank down to the floor. She didn't see me. No, she had spun on her heel and walked out of my life as soon as she finished yelling.
Fine, I thought, Why not? Everyone else left, why shouldn't she?
First Dad, then Mom. Little Nina and her big annoying dog. Hughes. The stupid Prince was captured and possessed by a Homunculus, so he was as good as dead. Teacher. Al had gone to find his own life. And now, my one and only love left. Forever. Why not? Leave me here, all alone, to die a horrible and tragic death. It's not like anyone would notice.
I forced myself to stand up and walk to the living room, where there were assorted pictures of me; Al; Winry; me and Al; me and Winry; Al and Winry; all of us together . . . I picked up my favorite - Winry with her arms around her knees, beaming up at the camera, eyes bright, beautiful as ever - and threw it across the room. It hit the wall and shattered. I didn't care. I spun around and punched the wall.
"Dammit!"
Punch.
"Dammit!"
Punch.
"Dammit!"
Punch.
Not even bothering to look at the damage done to the wall, I sank to the floor again and held up my bruising fist. It throbbed dully, but I couldn't feel it over the breaking of my heart. I hung my head, hair falling into my face. I still didn't care. Tears streamed down my face. Still didn't care.
"Winry . . ."
~~~~~
Someone was shaking me. My brow furrowed. Who could possibly be shaking me? I was alone . . . All alone . . .
"Brother, wake up. It's time for work."
I opened my eyes. Al was staring down at me with this worried look. That's right, I said to myself, This isn't Resembool. This is Germany. And I'm here with Al. I sighed and smiled, relieved. It was all a dream.
"You were saying her name again," my little brother said in a quiet voice. "In your sleep. I know you miss her, especially because of what day it is, but you have to move on."
Wait . . .
"What day is it?"
Al's eyes looked sad all of the sudden, and he replied, "It's March nineteenth, Brother."
I stared at him for a moment, not comprehending. Then it sank in. A short, pained laugh escaped my throat. How could I forget - again?
Today was Winry's birthday. And I couldn't see her. Again. I couldn't watch her smile, or laugh, or gush over her presents. I couldn't eat most of her cake like I did every other year and induce a nice, painful beating with a wrench. She was an entire universe away. I was more alone than I was in the dream.
I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep.
