He nodded again, but looked rather confused. I went deeper in depth with my problem. He had a right to know — it involved him, didn't it?
"I was dying. I had tons of brain tumors, and at the time I decided to change, I only had about thirty days left to live. I didn't want to have to tell you that I was going to die. I didn't want to put you through that. So, instead, I found a way to stay with you forever. I thought I could control myself, and that we could always be together without you ever finding out what I was, but . . . " I glanced back in the direction of the caf. " . . . I couldn't."
Erek put his hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him, unsure of what I would see. His eyes were guarded. Nothing on his face gave me any indication of how he felt.
"It's okay," he said. "It's okay." Even his voice was flat, an emotionless monotone.
We stared at each other for a while, then he suddenly took me by the shoulders. "Run. Run as far as you can, as fast as you can, before they decide to find you. I know it's probably impossible, but . . . Come visit me at home, okay?"
I nodded and took one last look at him, memorizing every detail so I would never forget how he looked. I didn't even get as far as taking in his features. Erek looked absolutely and completely dead. He wasn't the young man I remembered from humanity, warm and full of life. Then, unable to take it any more, I turned, broke free from his grasp and ran. I went as far as I could, as fast as I could, just like he told me, hanging on to his last words for all I was worth, even though they were dim and dreary. Everything but escape and his voice was pressed over the brim of my dismal mind.
My brain shut off for the entire sprint from the school. I wouldn't let any thoughts keep me from my getaway. Especially ones of what I was running from. It wasn't until I was in the dark wilderness behind the school, surrounded by trees and shrubbery, that I realized I'd been brokenly sobbing since the last time I looked at him.
I slowed down and let all of the feeling wash over me. Stupidity for going to school in the first place; hatred towards humans for being so delectable; hatred towards myself for giving up my fight for control; shame, shock, and horror for killing Mr. Harley. That was the strongest. I couldn't believe what I'd done. What was one of the first things I told myself when I stepped into the cafeteria? There will be no killing today. So much for that idea.
I touched my mouth with my hand and felt my stomach churn. I had killed my favorite teacher with my bare hands and teeth. I honestly thought I was going to throw up. The tears came faster. My mind flashed back to the animal pleasures of scaring Harley to death — almost literally. The carnal feelings of his screams. The addictability of his blood. If Erek hadn't snapped me out of it, I probably would have worked my way through the entire caf, just like I'd seen before I sat down. A broken scream ripped out of my chest - a delayed reaction to the horror of what I'd done, what I'd become. Everything in my heart and mind was being torn to shreds. I was murderer, an uncontrollable animal, and the only man I would ever love hated me for it. It repeated itself over and over in my head.
I screamed again, louder, more hysterically. The scene of a red tiled prison flooded back to me, and I didn't bother to push it away. I knew that it had been a vision of where I would end up. I knew I was going to be in that place, trapped in an unforgiving cell. And I deserved it.
I couldn't see through the tears that plagued me; nothing made sense; everything was muddled and fading; nothing was working right in my head. I was overloading. As my vision started to fade to black, I fell to my knees, then forward into the soft moss on the forest floor.
