I absolutely hate it when you love someone deeply and cannot say what comes to mind. You swallow down your angry words and hide all the pain inside, pain at what they said or what you let slip out of your mouth to slap your loved one in the face. You hold back the tears only through sheer will, zoning out and making a point of keeping your face blank. They try to peek into the barrier of your mind, they try to shake you out of your frozen position, trying to see some emotion in your face. But you won't relent. They think of violence, if only to get your attention for a brief second. Finally they plant themselves in the way of your focus, forcing you to look at them. Your heart crumbles down, rips apart in excrutiating pain. You nearly burst into tears and run away, not daring to face your beloved.
I hope you know I'm writing this for you, my beloved Makaidos