My session this week is going to be a little shorter than what I usually post here, and it's also not going to be a writing mechanics lesson either. I know I had a request for commas which I was going to do before my computer exploded and I've been keeping in touch with the online world via my mom's slightly older, slower computer. So rather than a writing/grammar session this week, I shall bring you a language session.
No Offense, but I Need To Be Honest For A Sec:
With a language as dynamic and ever-changing as English, there are a few coined phrases that we've all heard and understand. Still, there are some times that when you really stop to think about it, you really shouldn't use them at all. Words can be used to mean one thing but all the while actually suggest other things. For a quick example, people often use "mad" as a synonym for "angry", but technically (and formally) it isn't. It's another one of those accepted things: while "mad" technically really means "insane/crazy", people have been using it to describe anger for about seven hundred years now! Take that how you will, but like I said, this one's pretty well accepted as a language convention.
So now that I have you all thinking about this stuff, consider the following sentences:
No offense, but your singing was really off key.
To be honest, I've never seen all of Titanic before.
I'm not even going to mention that time we found you with your pants around your ankles at your computer...
Let's talk about rhetoric today!
A Method That Predates Christ:
Rhetoric is the art - the science, even - of effective language. There are so many little speaking and writing tricks people have come up with over the past several millennia to make points, win arguments, and flat-out insult people under a guise of civility. Sarcasm is kind of a lame, cheap side of rhetoric; guilt tripping is maybe a bit above that (and I only mention it now because I actually just got paused from writing this for a little while as I experienced it personally). That said, there are some very nasty, bad forms of it that should be a nice little eye-opener to the way you communicate with others.
No Offense, But...
I'm sure this is something we've all said or had said to us a bunch of times before, especially here at a fan submission website like theOtaku. The suggested meaning is that you intend to be civil about something and that it is not your intention to offend or upset anybody with them. But seriously, think about the kinds of sentences this gets tacked to:
No offense, but your story wasn't that interesting.
No offense, but I would have gone with green, not yellow.
No offense, guys, but all y'all suck.
What the phrase should really say is "No offense, but (I'm about to say something that is likely or possibly going to offend you)..."
If you feel the need to give a forewarning that your subject should feel no offense at your words, then are you really trying to not offend them? It's one of those mincing words things: if you really need to say something about something, then just say it. If you'd rather not offend them about it, think of a different way to say it; if you're not quite as worried, then just say it and just get it done. But really, at this point we're getting into territory that Becky has already covered.
So yeah, don't use "no offense". It's stupid.
To Be Honest...
I'm sure everyone has said this at one point or another. "To be honest" or "honestly" or something like that is pretty common:
To be honest, I didn't find your story that interesting.
To be honest, I don't think the yellow looks very good.
Honestly, you all suck.
Again, the suggested meaning is that what you're about to say is completely honest, earnest and truthful and we should all take note of that...
...so what, you're not usually honest, earnest and truthful in your regular life? What is it about this specific mention that makes you need to tell us that this time you are definitely not messing with us? Suddenly the suggestion goes from "I'm being honest right now" to "Most other times I'm not."
So yeah. It's silly. Don't use this one either.
And finally:
Not Gonna Go There...
This one doesn't have a very specific phrase so much as a sentiment:
Do we even need to talk about the three times you conked me in the head while you held that thing?
This courtroom doesn't need to hear about all the other murders you've committed before.
I'm not even going to mention how No-Face looks like a phallus...
See... the problem with telling people about how you're not even going to mention certain things... is that you directly mention them!
This one really doesn't need much elaboration. I forget the actual term for this form of rhetoric, but the famous Roman orator Cicero used it in a prosecution that I studied one time. All it boils down to is whether you realise what you're doing if you use it and if it actually has a point. Still, while Cicero was a great orator, he was nonetheless a bit of a snarky little ass (which is why he's still so famous today). It's an aggressive style of rhetoric, and most people will recognise it for what it is. Again, mincing words and all that - it's not something you can hide behind when a moderator comes around stomping out flamers or whatnot.
To Recap:
In general, I'm hoping that I've pointed out how language is a wild little invention. If you're into creative writing, there are absolutely so many ways to use language to make your points and explain your thoughts. If you're into formal writing, you'll have a better understanding of "better" word choices. If you're just someone who's very social or even someone who makes a living through networking with others, these tips will give you a subtle edge in really capturing someone's attention and interest. Some people would call this kind of thing "reading between the lines" - hell, I don't even like that, since what you're really doing is just reading the line a little more carefully than not.
When people talk about how one huge percentage of human communication is non-verbal, I almost wonder how much of that actual verbal communication goes to rhetorical touches like these.
Something to think about, in any case... and yes, this wasn't nearly as short as I was originally planning.
