- Created By XYukoucyanX
DANKganronpa
link: [ CLICK ]
It was a bright, sunny afternoon. Okay, that was a lie. It was a rainy, dreary morning and Len Kagamine was busy taking the biggest dump of his fuckign life. His girlfriend, Seeu, was busy vomiting in the sink beside him and he couldn't be more pissed (get it?) about his entire existence.
"Len, please hurry up on the toilet… the sink is getting clogged," she said to him. Her face was extremely pale and her eyes were sunken, almost as if she had been sick for a while. Oh, wait.
Grumbling, Len wiped himself and flushed the toilet. He hadn't been quite done with his dump, but then if he had stayed on any longer, the sink would need to be repaired. As he walked out of the bathroom, he pat seeu on the back. "Feel better."
The blondier of the two fished a pair of pants out of the dirty laundry, sniffed them (they were fuckin' RIPE but not as ripe as the rest of the pile) and slid them on his body. His t-shirt had stains on it so he changed it into another shirt with less noticeable stains. Len slipped on his shoes, grabbed his jacket and left the small apartment.
That was when he came. The ultimate piece of trash- of course it's fucking Komaeda who the hell else would it be? Fucking Kanye west? Not when he's at his Kanye Best. He did that laugh. You know, the one he does... It's in that God worthy luvoratory video. Anyways, back to the main topic and I won't sit here and flirt with pickle. Okay, so Komaeda is a complete piece of trash. There's those tumblr users who say they're trash, but they're fools. This is the trash king. He's not even compared to them he's just bad. Anyways... (LOL 笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑笑 rrrrrr kkkkk jajajajajajjajajjajjjajajjajaajajjajajajajajajjajajajajajajajajajajjaj笑笑笑笑笑笑笑 xDDD)
This shit head was there. That fucking piece of trash. I hate him. 笑 . 笑 wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
He took one look at Len, and his hope meter went through the fucking roof. Man, there wasn't even note of a goddamn roof before but he broke it. It was gone. He gave him a thumbs up and licked his pasty ass ugly lips, not caring if he made the idiot blonde uncomfortable or not. Komaeda is a fucking uncomfortable guy, just looking at him makes me uncomfortable. "Yo, boy. You're trash like me," he said. Komaeda smelled. He smelled like really bad. This kid has like never showered before. He just looks like that. He's gross. He didn't give a shit if Len stared at him. He started heelying down the sidewalk, showing off his mad skillz.
"What the fuck did you just say?" Len frowned. Was this kid actually serious? This white haired kid (who has white hair nowadays anyways? That gothic shit is so outdated) smelled and looked worse than he did. He should be calling that guy trash. "You're the one wearing a shirt with a dry cum stain on it."
Komaeda frowned, too. "Excuse me? wtf. I'm saving it for later. Don't open your mouth, it ruins your pretty face." That's when it hit him. Literally, it hit him. Komaeda just got punched by a 5'2" scrub who smelled like old pits, sweaty balls, and vaginal discharge. Instead of fighting back, he crumpled. "yoo wtf is your problem kid?"
Len spit on the ground to the side of him, turned around, and began to walk away.
Komaeda was like, super offended. That kid had spoke the truth. He was a disgusting piece of shit, who took a dead body's arm. That's really gross honestly like super gross wtf... Okay anyways, I really hate Komaeda. Okay okay. So he walks over to this 5'2 piece of trash, (pickles taller xD) and punches this brat in the arm. It wasn't even a punch. It was more like a tap. Anyways, it was with his left hand so one of the fingers fell off since it was a dead hand. "Oh no, not again," he mumbled, reaching down to pick it up. "Gotta sew that together again, I guess..." He sighed dramatically and turned away from Len.
He really clumsily sewed it back together. In fact, it was on backwards. Oh fucking well, who the hell cares. "Okay, kid," he said, pointing the dead finger at him. "We're gonna fite. Meet me out back. We're gonna go 4 realz. I fucking hate you, you stupid banana piece of hair."
Len ran up on him. "Oh, yeah? Let's fucking do this, then, you smelly rat." Komaeda gulped. What has he gotten himself into? He was gonna get rekt… like, really rekt… this brat is way too tough… but, thinking he deserves such a pounding he followed Len anyway. Once they were out back, Len punched him hard in the jaw.
That was the last thing Komaeda needed. He popped a boner immediately after getting punched. He didn't try to hide it. He spread full eagle for Len. "This is what you want to do, huh? Beat up an old man who just has an innocent boner?"
The blonde said nothing but slammed his fist right into Komaeda's wiener. It hurt so much but felt so good. "Hit me harder," Komaeda said. "HIT ME HARDER!"
The sadistic side of Len came out. He beat up Komaeda til his ears were bloody. Then Komaeda did something brave… something only nasty, disgusting vermin like him would do. He reached up and FURIOUSLY MASTURBATED. Except it wasn't masturbating because it was with his left hand. (I'm sorry I can't stop) "OH YEAH. THE GOOD STUFF. IM SO FUCKING BLOODY..." No, he wasn't even SLIGHTLY masturbating. This was the big old heavy masturbating. He needed Jesus.
Len was appalled. He threw up all over Komaeda, like his girlfriend had been doing over the sink prior to this. He was throwing up puddles and I'm wanting to throw up writing this. Anyways, God mysteriously cleaned up this hell hole and they were back to normal. I'm disgusted tbh so Komaeda was completely clean, and he didn't have Junko's hand at that moment. Len smelled like apple pie, and Komaeda didn't smell as gross. His hand wasn't on his cock anymore also. His cock was mysteriously back in his pants.
At that moment they realized they were totally high on LSD before fighting. It wore off. Now they weren't high as much. No h2omo. Lool. LMFAO roflmao xDDD XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
Okay so, that was when Hinata came in. He made this face:
¯_(ツ)_/¯ ¯_(ツ)_/¯
¯_(ツ)_/¯
"Yo, what the fuck you guyz doing?" he asked. "I thought we were all like... Komaeda, what the fuck bro... WhAt the FUCKING FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. 'No. No. You just wait a FUCKING SECOND. What the fuck did you just call me? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME? I'll have you know I'm a yaoi fangirl and PROUD. You don't INSULT me. And by the way, no. No, it's not "gay." Do you even KNOW where that came from? Japan. "GAY" CAME FROM JAPAN. THE PROPER TERM FOR "GAY" IS YAOI. Just because I'm eleven doesn't mean that I can't be a perv. I'm mature. I write yaoi fanfiction. I have many people who like my yaoi posts on and deviantART. I read yaoi every day. Yaoi is my life. I couldn't live without yaoi. I would die without it. I know everything about yaoi sex. I'M NOT STUPID. I read my first doujinshi when I was ten. I'm NOT like the other kids, SO STOP SAYING THAT I AM. I'm sick of it. I'm so fucking sick of all of it. I'll have you know that I knew what a penis does when I was NINE FUCKING YEARS OLD. NINE. I WAS FUCKING NINE. I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A PENIS WAS WHEN YOU WERE NINE. I type with proper grammar, and you don't. You aren't better than me. You don't even use the right word for yaoi. It's not gay. Do your research. By the way, gay porn is disgusting. It's nothing like yaoi and it's unrealistic, and gross. The ukes are usually not even shorter than the seme. It's disgusting. Fuck all of you. I'm eleven and I'm not "stupid" because I actually know the origin of yaoi and you don't. Fuck you. Fuck'- random 11 year old on the Internet"
Hinata was honestly so offended by this, he stole the drugs and stole Len's grillfriend. Len didn't give a fuck he was on LSD again and komaeda crawled back into his rat hole.
End.
How Naruto Really Ended and Why it Ended This Way (Even I Can't Believe It)
(i wrote this when the last chapter came out obvi)
Okay everyone, I've been wanting to tell you all the true story of how Naruto ended. I've decided now that I will tell you... I've been waiting this long only because I've seen how fans react to new information (FAKE!!!!!!1111!!!!! POSER!!! NAME 5 ALBUMS!!!!!!) and since Naruto's ending is still in the clouds with speculation, I've decided now is the time to tell the world the TRUE ending of Naruto... here goes:
(Notes before we start: If it's "TL;DR" for you, just skip to the bullet points. I know how much I like to write!)
To start, I've been in the Naruto industry for... about 40 years. I've seen the drafts, the outtakes, the bloopers, everything. I know what Masashi Kishimoto wanted... I knew his plan and shared his vision. About 3 years ago, when most of you weeaboos were around 12 or so years of age, Kishimoto was going to confirm the plans of turning Naruto into a y*oi. What's a y*oi? Urban dictionary it.
Anyway, this was because many of you young fans were weebs that wanted all the y*oi goodness that came with the Naruto series (i mean... of COURSE Kakashi and Akamaru belonged together with the way they looked into each other's eyes. They were such a cute couple
Fast forward three years and Naruto is coming to a quick close. Now's the good part.
How many times has your little mind thought, "Wow, Naruto and Sasuke make a good couple"? Exactomungus! So, because you OBVIOUSLY answered between "never" and "maybe once or twice," this is why (spoiler alert) Sasuke turned good. This is why Sasuke did a complete 180 and decided that he was going to be Hokage of his own villiage or something. That raises the situation for NaruSasu (or SasuNaru) to become canon. What's canon mean in this context? Urban dictionary it.
Naruto obviously has strong feelings and a certain strong attraction towards Sasuke Uchiha, as does Sasukle with naruto. Here's the REAL good part:
Kishimoto just let Naruto (SPOLER ALERGTU!!!!11111!!!) Marry and have a kid with Hinata (Bolt/Boruto). Sasuke, oh, Sasuke, got married and had a kid with Sakura (their offspring/livestock is Salad/Saruda (what a crack pairing)). While I like SasuSaku to an extent, Sasuke is totally not the right match for her. LIke... I;d rather Sakuira end up with Naruto, like Kishimto promised, and Hinatta End up with KIba if he weren't (spoiler) died, but i digrtess.
Neji died.
We are all aware of Kishimnoto making one last final movie of Naruto, which I belkieve to be an epilogue (Idk, Kishi-chan texted me one night telling me about it but then i forgot to text back so idk :x it was really late :X).
What is to be believed in that epilogue is true, but also untrue. You understand how in Tokyo Ghoul, the anime, Season 2 is going to be like an "alternate ending" of the sorts? That's what Kishimioto is doing. Narutpo The Last Movei will have a DoubleEpilogue, only available to Premium Memebers. I am willing to share this X-Rated infortamtion with you all this evening. In this epologue, all of your dreams come true.
Here's a quick overview of what happens because I have been doing this for about an hour and I know you're all dying to know:
- Neji is brought back to life
- Sasuke sees Neji and loses all hatred for him (considering he kinda hated every1); that hatred turns to unconditional, non-platonic love
- Sasuke and Neji have a child: Sarada (Salad)
- Naruto still has a kid with Hinata: Boruto (Bolt)
- Salad and Bolt don't have an ugly rivalry (naruto and sasuke hetero-style), in fact they r just play mates and have no desire 2 hate each other or what-the-hell-ever
- in truth, Hinata leaves Naruto for Sakura because she found out Naruto had been seeing Sasuke
- To explain Sasuke, he re-killed Neji out of love and that was the end of that. he still denies that Salad is Neji's tho we all see it in the face
- Sasuke and Naruto are now together, raising Salad and Bolt (Narutop gets him on weekends and every other holiday)
- Sakura and Hinata are happily living together in Sakura's deceased mom's shop
- Ino is friends with Sakura and HInata
- Chouji, Shikamaru and Kankuro live together as bachelors
- Kiba (swoon) lives with his boyfriend, Sai (yes, that Sai. The painter scroll book thing Sai. the extremely GAY Sai)
- Gaara hangs out with Naruto and co. it's really heartwarming. he's good now. he chills w Rock Lee & Tenten (Lee gf) on a regular
- Neji was reborn later in a permanent, human body because of advanced medical sciences that Sakur a helped perfomr
- Sakura got mad head that night from hinata
- Neji lives with Hinata and her soon-to-be wife
- OH YEAH, Kakashi is rooomies with Iruka. He brought along all of his pet dogs, initially to Iruka's chagrin
- Iruka warmed up to the dogs
- there are a lot of dogs and they are smart mouthed
- Spoiler ahead
- Everyone else that was a "main" died. im pretty sure most of them are dead. Like 4real. Jiraya is dead.
- that's all i remember
So now you all know the truth. After 40 years, thank you for sticking with us through this journey.
Disclaimers: I haven't caught up to Naruto, and frankly, I'm tired of hearing spoilers. I already know what REALLY happens (roughly) and while I'm not livid about it, I'm not exactly rainbows about it either :/. In the long run, I don't mind, I guess, but Naruto really is interesting to me, even though it's kinda rough around the edges xD. ANYWAY, the point is, i didn't read the finale, but I know some of my detailz are correct. Which ones? You decide MUHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH.
Also, another note to mention: Though it wasn't rlly all that bad... Masahi Kishimoto really did play everyone dirty with that ending. Even I could see that. AND ANOTHER THING!!!
Thnx for reading :3
Believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
naruto telling u to believe it in meme formnaruto telling u to believe it in meme form
Vocaloid Fic: Seeu Got An Eighty on the Test After Lunch
Link to the fic.
I wrote this a while ago.
—
Five minutes later, she was fast pacing it down the hall to the nearest restroom… which was a seven minute walk from here. Seeu’s pretty sour at the start of one particular morning and receiving a horrible test score doesn’t help either. Did I mention she has diarrhea?
—
Seeu walked into class one morning and sat down at her desk, looking over her test score. A lousy 22 percent.
It was only third period and she was irritated beyond belief, and it didn’t help anyone that she had explosive diarrhea. She studied her ass off on this test, how could she not get a good score? There was only one explanation. The test was rigged.
"Hey, Seeu!" Her friend Gumi had walked into the classroom. "How did you do on the test?"
She glared at the green-haired girl. “I did just fine!” she said. “All I need to worry about is that upcoming test after lunch,” And making it out of here alive, she thought.
"Oh, cool. I’m so prepared for that one," said Gumi. "I got an eighty-three on that last one. I need a good mark for this one or else I’m done for.” She giggled and Seeu joined her. Seeu could feel the corners of her mouth tighten.
Gumi sat down in her seat behind Seeu and rested her head on the desk. Enough talking, I suppose, Seeu thought idly.
-
After ten minutes through the class, Seeu’s stomach felt a bit bubbly.
Of course she was used to it, but it had developed into a very loud, achy and carbonated sound that was distracting her from the lesson. She looked around the room to act like it wasn’t her making that noise. Catching her friend Rin’s eye, she shook her head. Rin just shrugged her shoulders and went back to copying notes.
Five minutes later, Seeu was fast pacing it down the hall to the nearest restroom… which was a seven minute walk from the class. Thank god for desks next to the door, right?
Bracing herself against a water fountain, a thin spread of sweat on her brow, she breathed deeply, nearly letting go of a distraught noise. Think: people having horrible, horrible stomach aches.
"It’s okay, I can do this," coaching herself, she makes her way down the hallway once more.
A few paces down there is a supply closet, and it’s ajar.
She looks at it as she makes her way down. “I can’t,” she says to herself, eying the door. “I can’t do that. I can hold it.”
Just then, someone knocks into her on their way out of a nearby classroom. “Sorry, are you alright?” They ask, putting an arm out for Seeu.
"Just fine—" she squeezes her asscheeks together tightly so nothing spills out. "I got it. Everything’s fine; run along now, boy," she helps herself up as he walks away. There’s no one else in the hallway, she notices, so he must be off to the bathroom, or the bathroom… maybe the bathroom.
Holding her ass (and keeping her skirt down), she stops abruptly and turns around toward the supply closet. “Supply closet…” Supply closets have all sorts of things, right? Mops, Kleenex, air freshener, surely, and most importantly… “Buckets.”
Seeu, moving as fast as she can, opens the door to the closet only to find that there’s someone else already in there. In fact, as she accidentally pushes into the person while looking for the light switch, she notices that there are two people in there.
"Dammit!"
"Uh, ow?"
"Found it." The light flickered on and it revealed two people she knew very well. "Teto, what are you doing with Len?" They were disheveled and slightly sweaty and there were UNO cards everywhere.
"Nothing," said Teto, picking up the cards. "What are you doing here?"
It’s as if something punched everything in Seeu’s excretory system three times in a row with car tires. “Pass me that bucket right now—" Seeu quickly pulled her underpants out of the way so they wouldn’t stain as everything she’d been trying so hard to keep in rushed out of her body.
"Oh, my god," Len cried as he tossed the bucket ("Too late, I’m afraid" was Teto’s remark) near Seeu’s foot.
“‘Oh, my god’ indeed,” said Seeu, setting up the bucket to get rid of what was left in her system.
"What a load," commented Teto.
"What did you eat?" Len asked, horrified at the sight. "Oh, my god! It’s moving everywhere!"
"I didn’t eat anything, it’s just been like this all morning. Teto, hand me those tissues," Seeu was seated on the bucket, bottom half naked, getting rid of the final waves of wasteful relief (see that?).
"Don’t look."
"You won’t have to worry about that." Teto faced the back wall. Len was desperately trying to get rid of the smell with febreeze, not worried at all what Seeu was doing.
"Alright, I’m done. Help me clean this up."
"Are you kidding me?” Len gawked at her. “No. No way.” He crossed his arms. “I’m leaving.”
"You have to help me! Or should I mention the awkward situation I found you two in to our school’s dean?"
"NO—”
"Or," said Teto,"We could not."
They looked at each other for a moment and then Seeu shrugged. “Let’s go then!” All three students walked out of the supply closet quietly, making sure the door was locked behind them. Len sprayed an extra cloud of air freshener around it.
"I desperately need a shower," Len said, holding his nose.
"Me, too!" Seeu smiled, thinking about skipping for the rest of the day. "Wait. What exactly were you two doing in the closet again?"
"Well," said Teto, "We were… um—”
"Oh, god," they turned back to see Len staring again.
"What is it this time, Len?" Seeu asked.
"We left your skirt in the supply closet."
Seeu looked at Len and then down at herself. She gazed at the supply closet’s door, wondering what would happen to them if they were to open up that door again. Have the contents inside it already mutated into some kind of flesh-eating monster? Will it brutally attack them leaving them begging to be let go or will it welcome them—specifically Seeu—with open arms, crying like a helpless child that’s lost their mother? The only way to find out would be to open that door.
Seeu turned around and began walking back to the classroom, pants-less, Teto and Len quickly following behind.
"Aren’t you going to get it?" Len asked.
"No," she replied. "That’s disgusting."
End
