Today has been hell and back for me.
I had my hand basically almost forced down someones pants, which I quickly hate, I pulled my hand away imediately saying No, he settled for it being out of his pants and everytime I pulled away he'd keep my hand there, and I blushed bright red, I dont like that, I hated it, it made me feel like I was going to cry.
It was third period and i almost started crying in fourth, which I was shaking and refused to touch my left hand or use it because thats the hand he used. I was so upset with him and about it.
I wanted to scream at the world, for making this all so hard on me, giving me horrible twists.
I hate that, i hate that he likes me, I liked him back in 5th and 6th and 7th, Now im pretty much over him but he throws himself at me. Says Im beautiful.
Im not beautiful, Im the oddest and most un-attractive person I've seen EVER!
He made me laugh when I was about to cry but he ruined it soon after my massaging my ass and trying to get into my pants, which he actually streched them out and sticked his finger into the side of them and I grabbed his hand and threw it out of my pants saying: no..
He continued at it and I hate that he continued, its not something I want. I want CJ, I wanted CJ so bad, I wanted to break down crying wishing he was there, Im just a stupid teenager, that wants her boyfriend when things get horrible.
I want CJ so bad, i want to tell him what happened but Im so scared hes going to think I wanted it and break up with me. Does anything really go right?
Or is it all wrong??
