FIY

I think I am going do the introduction page stating these things. But here in this post I am going to tell you all who read me rant and talk about my oh so "interesting" life why I post about it.

1) I love to hear other people's opinions. EVEN IF I don't like what they have to say or if I don't want to hear it (well...in this case... read it.)
It's nice for me to know what other people think about my situation(s) and their feedback so I can hear from people who I don't know. Who don't know me and can't really judge me. From people who I don't see everyday. And it helps that the people who actual take an interest in reading my posts actually care in a way? I guess I could say. You will read my posts and you will tell me what you think, what you honestly think. The people I talk to don't even think twice. They either tell me what I want to hear so I will go away or don't tell me anything at all.

2) It's nice having somewhere to write about my feelings and knowing that other people are seeing it. They might be able to help me and others who may be going through the same thing. Or if someone feels lonely or they feel the same way I do and they read my posts, maybe they won't feel so alone. I just like being able to get my feelings all out there and being able to get feedback and going back and reading what the predicaments or situations were and seeing how it's changed.

3) It helps me relax. Once I get a thought out somewhere, it will be less likely to bother me...and since no one wants to hear what i have to say, I can come here. And if people choose to read it then they can read it. IDC.

I had other reasons too but I am so tired that I can't think straight. That and my sister is in the bathroom screaming her made up songs on the top of her lungs while taking a bath (this is my 6 year old sister)

! People !

I feel like I give way too many people the benefit of the doubt. I am the one who keeps going and saying "Oh that's okay they said it won't happen again" or "No, it won't happen again because of..." blah blah blah! BS it won't happen again! I give people to many chances. I let them back into my life just to $#@! with my life some more! I really do! My "best friend", I just keeping letting her crap go on and on and on hoping she will change or HOPING things will go back to normal. I don't even want to confront her because she's already walking around like she is doing nothing wrong! "I only act like I don't care or Im not happy for you about your job because you talk about it a lot and it's annoying" HAHA OH THANKS! WHAT A FRIEND YOU ARE! And my boyfriend! He still sits there ignoring my texts. It's one thing if he's busy or has to do something but it's another thing if he does it constantly. It's not like it's SOOO god damn hard to say "Im busy so I wont reply very fast" or something like that. It's really not. Im tired of giving our human race a chance. Is it even worth it anymore? I mean, Im surrounded by such awful people all of the time. My "best friend" is having her 16th birthday party. I WOULD skip it and not go (Because honestly, Id have more fun at work than her party because she leaves me out when she has other people over...every time) but since it's her 16th, Id go. BUT she wants me to sleep over, even though I have to work at 11 the next morning. So she throws a fit when I say that I can't sleep over but I can STILL GO TO HER HOUSE! She thinks that the world invovles around herself. My birthday party, I had to arrange it to a different time thanks to her and her inablility to care about anything that goes on it my life and listen to what I have to say. WHY should I be putting anymore time into our friendship if she doesn't put in any time. WHY should I have to sit there and listen to her @#!@# about her life when she doesn't listen to anything I say. Good or bad. I wish I was homeschooled. Id get a lot done and it'd be done faster. I wouldnt have to deal with the most BS drama EVER. I wouldn't have to put up with her and her stupidness...OR ANYTHING! I am just completely sick of it. And the sad part is, Im not the only one who is realizing that she has changed. Me and 3 other friends of hers have noticed it. She's more crabby, she complains a lot more, and she has distanced herself from all of us and isolated herself with this other girl. She complains about being tired but she goes home, eats, does homework, plays sims or reads a book then go to bed. What do I do? I get home and I am only able to relax for 10 minutes before I have to go to work and HOPEFULLY Ill get there in time to be able to eat. I dont have time to do homework. So I have to hope and pray that I can finish it all in the one study hall that I do have. Yet, I don't walk around and treat other people like complete and total crap. Am I tired? Heck yes. Do I complain about it? Sure, sometimes. Ill admit it. But no way in hell would I blame my rude-ness on my lack of sleep....every day. It's getting old and Im giving up. She's been my best friend for 8-9 years now. And....well. She's throwing it all down the drain for a friend (or whatever other reason it is) that's she's only known for 3-4 months. I mean REALLY?! But it's whatever. I'll just start treating her like she treats me. She wants to write her new best friend a 2 paged long note while she writes 2 or 3 sentences. Ill write a word back. Just one. She wants to sit there and talk to me like I have no sense, then I will talk to her like she has no sense. Im serious. Same with my boyfriend. He wants to wait to reply to me 2 hours later, then Ill just have to wait 3 hours. IM done.

Pessimists

Now, I am sure some of you or even all of you have heard of the saying "If you think badly, it will be badly" or something along those lines. Now, I am not hating on the people, I am hating on their outlook of life. Just about everyone I know always thinks on the bad side of anything they can think of. Im not lying when I say YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS!!! Sometimes it may not feel like it, but YOU ARE. If you say "Im sad" you're going to be sad. No matter what. If you want to feel sad YOU WILL feel sad. If you say "Im happy" you WILL feel happy. Now, there are some situations that can and will be exempt from this, but I am totally serious. I can sit here all day and tell myself that I am "depressed" and that I won't ever be happy. And guess what. I will sit there all day and be depressed and I won't ever be capable of being happy, because that is what I am manipulating myself to do. If I go to work or school and say "This is going to be a bad day"....it usually is going to be a bad day. By saying this kind of negative stuff you will just expect it to happen so you don't even TRY to make it better or to make it fun and awesome. It's just that simple. It's okay to have a bad day. It's okay to feel sad. It's okay! BUT, it's not okay to keep brooding in those negative emotions because it will only get worse. If you've seen my last post, I said I have such a great outlook on life but yet I am still sad. Even though I felt/feel sad, doesn't mean Im going to focus on feeling sad. It's okay to cry and okay to think about it, but it isn't okay to tell yourself it won't ever get better because you will stay in that mind set and it REALLY won't ever get better. I am going through a hard time with some social predicaments at school and what-not, but I am trying to make it better. I am trying to get passed it, because I am so much more than the petty drama. And for all of you guys who get pissed off at your parent(s) just because they ask you to do something....all I have to ask is "ARE YOU DUMB?!". THEY GAVE BIRTH TO YOU! THEY FEED YOU! THEY GIVE YOU SHELTER AND THEY DO WHAT THEY CAN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY! SO DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT SOME STUPID CHORES! A LITTLE WORK WON'T KILL YOU! IT BUILDS CHARACTER!! I will admit for getting mad at my mom for making me do something, but Im not going to let it ruin my day and I am not going to say "Oh I hate my mom she's a b****." <--- That's just stupidity and ignorance RIGHT THERE. Unless your mom and/or dad are really sh***y parents (And I mean REALLY bad.), then you have NO excuse to act that way. *Sigh*. Is it SO hard to try and be happy? You can atleast try.

Snow!

It's snowing and I'm not all mad or sad or anything about it! It's weird! I guess that I have a good outlook on life right now. I've been feeling really good about life, but I havn't been feeling the happiest. I don't get it. I have been enthusiastic about work, I enjoy work, I have been enthusiastic about school, I love school, and I've been working hard at both. I have been complaining a lot less about everything, too. I just feel good, but at the same time I feel really sad...

:( My Poor Co-worker

So today I got to work with one of my favorite co-workers, his name is Kevin. He's really nice and fun to talk to. Over time I learned that he's lived in a few states, had to move here, and lives by himself. Today I learned he is in fact gay (as I suspected.) What I also learned was that he lives all by himself...and far from his family and he had to spend thanksgiving by himself and will have to spend Christmas, which is also his birthday all by himself because he might not have enough money to go see them. :(. It makes me sooo very very very sad. SOOO I told him that I'd get him a birthday/Christmas present. He said he likes gift cards. And the only place he can really go are the places he lives near because he doesn't have a license or a car. So Im going to get him gift cards from JC Penny and/or Walmart because that's what he said he likes. Otherwise, I want to go to a mall where a Holister is and get him a PURPLE (his favorite color) shirt 'cause he LOVES Holister and Abrecrombie (lmfao i have no idea how to spell that). ^-^. I feel so sorry for him, and he's such a nice guy. He told me that since he's gay it's hard to find someone to be with because this town we live in isn't very open to that and there arn't many places he can meet people. He said he was really lonely. :/. I wish there was something more that I could do because he's sooo nice!!!!!!