So last weekend when Savannah and I got into it a little, she went and said that it was NOT okay for me to talk about my frustrations from her to other people. I guess that's "backstabbing" but I did not say anything mean, but she was told otherwise. It was a stupid misunderstanding and very very immature of a grown woman getting involved in two 16 year olds business. Honestly. Im now in the tenth grade and when I was in elementary school, I was a huge bully. I lied so I could fit in, I hurt people (emotionally) so they'd stay friends with me, because I was that desperate to have friends. That desperate to not be alone. But I have turned around and changed that about myself. I don't do any of that anymore, but I guess that my friend (who isnt my friend anymore) of 8 years told her otherwise. She had told her that IM a liar and always have been. First of all, that was YEARS ago! YEARS! Honestly. And being that we were friends for so long, she knew I changed! How immature! But I don't plan to sweat it all that much. I know it bothers me, and I won't deny that, but Im not going to go off and cry and throw a fit and start more drama. Anyways, the other night Savannah and I were talking about art. I told her that I am not very artistic anymore. I used to write a ton of poetry and draw a ton of pictures and cartoons, but I just havn't the past year or so. I told her I guess that part of me has somewhat died. Then she went on to ask if that was my ex friend's fault. I told her this "I would like to blame it on her, but honestly, I don't know why it turned out that way" and she had told me something that made me REALLY think about myself and what's been going on. She told me that her friend (my ex friend) always blames all of her psychological problems on ME! ME!!!! Honestly, grow some f***ing BALLS!!!!!!! And she also said that she liked that I didn't jump the gun and go ahead and blame it on her. I have a life other than my ex friend. I really do. I don't CARE what she does or doesn't do. I just have to constantly hear about it all of the time from Savannah. Savannah always says things about her friend and I always agree and I say "Yep that's how it is/was" and some of the things I hear are just so pathetic. I never think about my ex friend anymore unless Savannah brings her up, but from what I hear, she can't get my name out of her GD mouth! It's quite funny. But anyways. My current facebook status:

Just own up to your problems. No one in specific, but anyone. You can hold on to a grudge for a very long time. Some people hold on to them until the day they die. But WHY put yourself in the position where you are suffering by holding a grudge against someone who doesn't even care. WHY go around telling everyone and their mothers that it's "so and so's" fault for not having enough self-confidence, for getting your heart broken or being betrayed. In some way or another we have all been hurt but continuously blaming it on other people instead of just dealing with it or saying 'Hey, I have/had a problem, but I am going to change that and become a better person" is just going to put you in a dark place. It honestly feels good not to care so much. It feels good to drop it, because that's weight on your shoulders that nobody needs. NOBODY.