SO. I went to school and did some more crying. He didn't show up at school, which I figured would be the case. My friend Devin, one of my best friends who is exactly like a brother to me, was there for me and comforted me. He and others told me it'd be okay and that they doubt that he wanted to break up and that he will change his mind. I texted him and told him that I didn't want us to break up and that I will be understanding and be there for him a 100% and wouldn't leave his side (figuratively speaking) until things got better. Everytime my phone vibrated in my classes I'd panic and my heart would race and got really anxious. AFter my 5th hour class I went to look on facebook with what was going on. Too see if he had posted anything or if he had changed his relationship status to single yet. Anything to tell me what was going on. Facebook on my phone was acting up but then I got a text from him when my friend walked up. He texted me and told me that it was okay and that he just didn't want me to get all worked up because he wouldn't be able to give me his full attention. He knows Im not like that at all. v_v. Anyways, I saw that text and I bursted into tears AGAIN. Mostly out of relief and happiness, but I double checked and made sure if we weren't breaking up. He told me no. I still felt terrible after that and the day dragged on and on. On top of all of that I didn't feel the greatest. The anxiety was getting the best of me and my legs were sore from exercising and I was exhausted because I barely got sleep last night. And almost went home early and called in to work. I had calmed down but when I got to work, my coworker who escaladed problems with my boyfriend and his family got on my case because of something he had said to her last night and I flat out told her I don't want to talk about it. Then I got a message on facebook from my aunt who lives in Iowa where my dad is and the rest of my family. I had asked her a few days ago if she knew what was up with my dad and if his phone got shut off because he and his fiance wasn't answering my texts. I could have called but I don't really talk to them over the phone, but Im going to try it tomorrow after school. She told me that he hasnt' talked to them in a while and has barely seen his nieces new kids who are almost a year now and that she's mad at him and doesn't know what's going on. That tore me up because I miss my dad. And not only is he not talking to me but he's not even seeing his sister or neices and their babies and he lives in the same city as them. So I cried because of that. Then work went downhill from there. I almost had an anxiety attack. I was shaking and felt sick and kept rocking back in forth trying to make the anxiety feeling in my stomach go away. They told me at work that I didn't look so good. My manager was going to send my cousin home because labor was high, but I had asked her to send me home instead, so she did. Im starting to feel better but I don't know what's up with this anxiety because it has NEVER been a problem before and has been getting worse. I see my therapist tomorrow, but I don't think she will understand. I think she will tell me it's in my head. IT'S NOT IN MY HEAD I FEEL IT IN MY STOMACH AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY! It got so bad that I almost started crying because of that too. I had a little mini meltdown. I finally had just stopped shaking because Im keeping myself busy by typing this and what-not, but I feel like I'm going mad.