A lot of my friends and I have been thinking more about future stuff with school and jobs. What classes we need to take, whether or not we should take anymore math classes or science classes. I had planned on skipping out on physics all together, but I have decided that it is in my best interest to take it. I don't see how it could be so difficult. It's mostly math, and I am pretty good at math as long as it has nothing to do with geometry XD. And I'm sure that it doesn't. The real big thing though is whether or not I should take a math class, because I want to major in history. What will I really need math for? Besides basic classes needed in college. Can't be too difficult, rigth? Bleh. I need to stop in the guidence office and ask them about it. Especially since we are going to schedule for our classes next year soon. I'm rather scared for growing up, even though I am excited for it. I hate high school so much. I hate people, mostly. I love learning. I don't enjoy seeing stupid people with stupid actions with stupid faces. haha. I just don't like people. My friends often get frustrated with me because I usually determine wheter or not I like someone on how much they annoy me. I am still nice to people though. Unless they are assholes. haha. Another thing is the ACT. I really don't want to take that. I am scared so hardcore, because my composite score was a 17 on the practice. A SEVENTEEN! WTF! That's horrible! Really horrible! I have to study my ass off to get atleast a 22. That's my goal. A 22. I have to schedule to take it in April before March 29th or something so that's another thing I need to go to guidence for. My family can't afford to pay for it. :/. Savannah brought up early graduation and stuff which is something I'm really really interested in. I would LOVE to get out of high school ASAP! haha. On top of all of this school business. I feel like me and Brandon are really going to work out. I know that it has always been an aspiration for me to settle down and get married and have kids. Always. I have never wanted anything different, as much as I can't stand children XD. Out of all of the relationships I have had (which I have had many), I have, for the most part, got somewhat attatched-sometimes overlyattatched. haha. I would have to say there are a total of 2 guys, aside from Brandon, who I felt like I could have a future with. There was one other guy, but I was in denile about it. I knew it wouldn't work out, I just knew it, but I pushed that back and convinced myself that it would. And guess what. It didn't. But that's okay because I have Brandon now, and he is amazing and treats me right <3. Anyways, the first guy, I was in middle school. He was my longest relationship (even now, the longest I've had. 5 months lol xD very silly). He was my "first love" (not not sexual). We were pretty much inseperable and all that jazz lol. It was so...cliché. haha. Then Brent, who I had lost my virginity to. He and I knew we what we wanted, we even were "engaged" haha but again, I was just coming out of middle school and going into the high school. Something I couldn't ever picture lasting now. It was real, though, what he and I had. It just wasn't meant to be. We weren't meant for eachother and it's clear now. As for me and Brandon, I am so dead scared. I mean really scared. Those 2 other serious relationships I had, I chickened out in. When I felt that I wasn't in control of my emotions or their emotions (but come on, Cari, when are you EVER in control of ANYONE'S emotions. That is really not plausible). Right now, what scares me is that I'm ready for this serious relationship. I'm ready for being serious with him. Emotionally, anyways. I am scared of not being scared. I am also scared of getting too attatched. Scared of becoming obsessed. I was accused of being obsessed by my ex Kurtis, but I really wasn't. I know I wasn't. But right now with Brandon, he's all I can think about. It's crazy and it's driving me crazy. I am just so happy that I found somebody that makes me so happy and treats me right and is just an overall awesome guy. It's different then the other 2 guys. For one, I'm much older and have matured A LOT and I am much more responsible. For two, I know where I want to go in life (school, college), For three, I can be honest with Brandon. I'm not ashamed of anything, I can tell him when I'm mad, sad, and all of that emotional stuff. I can confront him. I love that. I love that about our relationship and quite frankly it has made me grow to love myself. I feel like our relationship has inspired me to strive for a better me. Yes, I may be an okay or even a good person, but I am always looking for ways to improve myself. To better myself for me and people around me. It feels great.

And there are my fun thoughts of the day. XD