Tis Friday's Eve. I had an appointment for switching my birth control and found out that I am not pregnant which is good.

The day started out pretty well and I'd say it ended pretty well.

It's been a while since I have felt so happy yet so sad at the same time.

Things have been feeling distant with me for a while and it feels like I've actually connected today. Especially with Brandon, but more towards the last half hour of getting to be with him. It's been a really stressful past 2 weeks. I honestly have never put so much work into a relationship. To make it work. And I'm really trying because it's always been hard to stay with one guy for a long time which is why he and I was on and off for about 3 years. I get scared, I freak out. I don't know. But I love him so much, and I have never loved someone so much in my life, so it's extra scary.

I had orientation today, and I have to say I'm super duper excited to work. Hopefully the new surrounding will take the edge off of life. It's going to add some stress because it's work, but I really feel like work is good for the soul. lol.

I had a good day for the first time in a couple of weeks so I feel good.