Well I've caught this pretty crappy cold that I'm hoping goes away otherwise I'm going to be so miserable this next week. Next week is the end of third quarter and I'm patiently waiting for it to be spring break. I'd love nothing more than a whole week to lie around and not go to school lol. I just got home from school, I spent the last ten minutes crying thanks to something my aunt had said to me on the way home. Me and Brandon anounced our engagement on facebook (so that my family could see and know). I felt like we needed to get it done and over with. My aunt said that my uncle Robert, someone who I hold so dear to me (he's been a big influence in my life since he moved here and joined the family), was upset about it. I don't necessarily know what she meant by that but it really hurt. Then she went on to say that he has no goals, no aspirations...and if he is, he isn't really pursuing them. I don't know whether or not he is, but from the way I see it...she's right. I told her that maybe he's not, but...what am I supposed to do? Throw my feelings away? Just stop caring and loving him? I also told her that it was my choice and that I'm going to be 18 in 6 months and I don't see the big deal. It hurts that they don't approve, but I knew they weren't going to. It gives me a lot to think about, but just the thought of the thought itself of breaking up with him...losing him...hurts so much. And that's just the thought of it. I know things with us aren't perfect. There's so many imperfections. I'm not perfect, he's not perfect. Of course it's not going to be perfect because neither of us are perfect, and nobody else is at the matter. All I know is I see where she's coming from and I"m not going to lie. It bothers me, but at this point all I can do is wait until something happens. I've already "mothered" him (in his words) and "nagged him" (his words once again) to get a job, which in my mind isn't right...he should have been working on getting one from the get-go with everything that has been going on. I know that I've been pushing and pushing AND PUSHING him to get a job, but it's important to me that he wants more out of life. I'm not satisfied with having the bear minimum. No, I don't mean I want to be rich (although it'd be nice), I just want the most out of life I can get. Sure, it'd be great to get mediocre jobs and live mediocre lives, but I don't want that. I want to be able to say I've lived life to the fullest. That's just me, though. I'm a go-getter haha. :3. The only thing I want to know is if he has the hunger for life too. I want to know what's going on in his head which only ever seems to be filled with me or the thought of him maybe being a father or not only because that's really all he talks about. I don't mind that, I just...gah....not knowing what where he wants to go in life and whether or not he's going to pursue it-or if he knows that he wants to do something whether or not he knows what it is-drives me crazy. It puts me in a rough spot. It really, really does. Right now I'm just focusing on not letting my family get to me because it is in fact MY choice. I love him, and that's that.