I feel like I always have something bad to talk about, which isn't fun at all. But I need to talk about it somewhere. I don't feel like anyone gets it until I post it on here. Regardless if anyone ever reads/comments on it. It's just getting it out.

I've been under a lot of stress..and pressure. It's been really, really hard. My family REALLY doesn't support me when it has anything to do with Brandon-simply because they don't like him. But they don't know him. I'm trying really hard to have a serious relationship and it's hard when they are constantly doubting me. I have so many questions, so many things I need advice on..or just things I need support on and no one is there. They never have anything logical to say. On top of that, I feel like people are doubting my maturity level. Yes, I can be immature. I say and do some petty immature things, but I'm still a teenager. I'm allowed to. I can't let everything slip away too fast! Anyways, regardless of any of that, I'm really mature and really smart. Nothing drives me more crazy when people think that just because I'm 17 means that I have no idea what's going on. I know how to take care of myself. I know how to be responsible. If I had a more steady, well paying job, I don't need my mommy to take care of me. As much as she DOES do for me (puts a roof over my head and feeds me and gives me gas money SOMETIMES), she really doesn't mother me like my other friends. I might as well be on my own once I get a job because I'll be paying pills hardcore. I would probably end up helping with rent, too. She doesn't ask, but I helped her with the gas bill and other bills plenty of times because I wanted to help her. I don't really get much in return.. I don't want material things I just want my mom to support me. Not only my mom but my aunt. My best friend supports me but she has no idea what it's like to be in such a serious relationship that sometimes her advice is extremely farfetched or extremely.. superficial. I know what it's like to live on the edge, living with very little. Unlike her. So she can't really relate and I don't hate her for that. It's just getting harder and harder not to have someone there for me through all of this...

I'm so tired of crying.