i thought i would be able to go on with my normal life after it happened..but its just so hard..i mean, my grandpa goes to the cemetary to "talk" to her everyday and its hard to see him now..and my dad..my dad isnt the same either...for the very first time i've seen him show his weak side. never once in my life have i seen my dad cry until this all had to happen..the things they want to give me...i'm not sure if i want to take it. i do and i dont at the same time..its just so confusing..

all the little things u think wont be too hard to forget about turn into major deals..i hate this so much..i feel bad for the ppl who have had worse deaths..it would be so hard for me to make that..i can barely make this..

in loving memory: