2.) Ask why he has a duck butt on his head
3.) Dye all of his white cloths hot pink
4.) Ask him where he got his contacts
5.) Make him play “Patty cake” with Sakura
6.) Make him watch a video of him kissing Naruto for 5 hours
7.) Make him first apologize to Itachi, then make him kiss his brother on the cheek
8.) Neutralize his jutsu and then lock him in a room full of fangirls (RAPID FANGIRLS)
9.) Dress him in a cute neko outfit ( including ears, tail and a cute skirt) in his sleep
10.) After #9, videotape his reaction when he wakes up
11.) Paralyze him and make him wear a pink-laced apron that he can’t get off
12.) Treat him like a toddler
13.) Ask him if he is related to a Cockatoo or if he is trying to mimic one
14.) Hypnotize him into doing the chicken dance and videotape it (then send it to both Naruto and Itachi)
15.) Try to pull on the purple rope that he wears and see if his pants fall down
16.) Replace his shampoo with super glue
17.) Steal all his weapons and replace them with stuffed animals
18.) Give him the nickname “the emo king” and follow him around singing it for 24 hours
19.) Call him “sweety” every 10 seconds
20.) Throw a tomato at his face and when he yells you “what was that for,” you say “What, I thought you liked tomatoes “
21.) Blow a really loud whistle when he is trying to brush his teeth
22.) Spray him with perfume and comment how lovely he smells then run like hell before he can kill you
23.) Laugh at him every time he tries to speak
24.) Handcuff him to Rock Lee(while giving Lee tons of energy drinks)
25.) Soak his shoes in snail slim
26.) Let a bunch of frogs loose in his room when he is sleeping and when wakes up, tell him it was Naruto’s idea
27.) Set a bunch of angry weasels on him when he gets out of the bathroom (Sasuke: *screams while he gets clawed in the face ……..Itachi: *smirks*)
28.) Pour a bunch of ice cubes down his back when is not looking
29.) Dump a bucket full of yogurt on his head when he is not looking and tell him that birds must like his head for some reason
30.) Super glue and duck tape him to a wall (leaving his stomach exposed) and lock him in a room with Itachi. Then ask Itachi tickle him with a feather for a whole day
Konan
1. Steal her paper flower
3. Compare konan's looks with 50 year old Tsunade
4. Threaten her with scissors
5. Lock her in a room full of paper shredders
6. Replace her makeup with clown face paint
7. Take a picture of her morning face before she has all that make -up on.
8. Ask her what happened to her missing eyebrows
9. Replace her shampoo with bleach
10. After #9 call her an old lady
11. Ask her if bees mistake for a flower bush
12. Dump a bucket of water on her when she walks into her bedroom
14. Steal the box of bobby pins in her bathroom and replace it with a box of termites
15. Replace her hairspray with spray paint and then blame Sasori
16. When she turns herself into a paper butterfly, lock her in a room with Zetsu (Zetsu: Hmm yummy butterfly *licks his lips while chasing konan around the room* Konan: HELP *desperately tries to evade said plant man*
17. Tell Tobi that they are out of paper and if he wants to color something, go draw on konan while giving him permanent markers to use
18. Try to water the so-called flower on her head. When she shouts at you why you are doing it, say that the flower looked thirsty then run for your dear life out of the room before she can strike you with paper knives
19. Call out to her and say there is a package for her. When she is within range toss a bucket of pond slime on her and say it is a present from Jiraiya
20. Ask her if her piercing ever gets stuck on Pein’s when they kiss
21. After #20 if she blushes, take a picture and run away while screaming so everyone can hear “Konan’s got a BOYFRIEND, Konan’s got a BOYFRIEND”
22. Ask her if her hair is naturally that color or did she dye it using blueberry juice
23. Get Deidara to make a lot of clay birds and have them chase her around the hideout right after she gets out of bed
24. Pinch her cheeks and call her cute
25. Wake her up by screaming, “FIRE”
26. Walk up to her and ask if she really is a girl or is she just cross-dressing as one
27. Get someone to try and tickle her and then sit back and watch the fireworks as they get beaten up for attempting
28. Steal all of her paper and hold it for ransom
29. When she is not looking, replace her cloak with a frilly pink apron
30. Give her a box full of jumping spiders for her birthday
Kakuzu
1. Call Kakuzu an old man
2. Steal all his money
3. Burn his money in front of him
4. Put him and Hidan(when he is on a cursing rampage) and a hyperactive Tobi in the same room
5. Cheat kakuzu out of his money
6. Replace kakuzu's money with monopoly money
7. Stick lots of chewed up gum in his hair and threads and watch him struggle to pull it out
8. Play monkey in the middle using his piggy bank
9. Tell him that he is ugly
10. Swear at him in random languages he doesn't understand or that don't exist.
11. Steal his face mask when he is sleeping then video tape his reaction when he finds out
12. Lock him in a room without his money for a whole week
13. Draw on the masks on his hearts with permanent marker
14. Get him a bright pink sewing kit for his birthday
15. Nickname him the rag doll
16. Tell Tobi that Kakuzu's money needs to be colored in.
17. Cut his hair short when he is sleeping
18. Give him a fake utility bill and get out of the room before he screams bloody murder at the many zeros
19. Ban him from going on any more bounty trips
20. Flush the toilet when he is in the shower
21. Glomp him randomly and run away before he can attack you
22. Make him take the whole organization to an expensive restaurant and make him pay for it.
23. Tie all of the threads on his body into pretty bows
24. Hide his suitcase full of money in Hidan’s room and watch the fun unroll when he finds where it is
25. Ask him if he is a zombie
26. Replace his real hearts with rubber ones
27. Take some of Deidara’s clay and blow up his room
28. Replace his bedsheets with a pink, white-laced blanket(with hearts)
29. Give him an old man’s cane for Christmas
30. Wake him up in the morning by playing a tuba in his ear
Pein
1. Call him the 4th hokage
2. Attach strong magnets to his face(because he has all of those piercings)
3. Tackle him randomly.
4. Steal his favorite office chair
5. Poke him repeatedly.
6. Force Pein to sit down and eat dinner with you, if he is not eating (or you're somehow still alive) put a strong magnet under the table and watch his face slam onto the table (and into his plate) and get a faceful of his dinner.
7. Ask Pein why he looks like a porcupine.
8. Ask him if he likes being a human pincushion
9. Laugh every time he tries to talk
10. Yell complete nonsense at him
11. Ask him why his eyes look like bull’s eye targets
12. Call his other bodies girly
13. Give him a lot of fake paperwork and watch him struggle
14. Stare at the piercings on his bottom lip than scream “VAMPIRE!!!!”
15. Follow him around the hideout all day and when he asks what you are doing, say that you are playing “Follow the leader”
16. Pat him on the head like you do a puppy
17. Call him fluffy
18. Put him and Hidan (when he is in a very foul mood) in the same room.
19. Call him carrot-top
20. Set up a whoopy-cushin in his chair, then laugh at him as he sits on it
21. Make him think that someone is hitting on Konan
22. Blow confetti in his face on his birthday
23. Build up static electricity and shock him on his piercings
24. Poke his hair and when he asks you why you are doing it say “I’m seeing if it is alive.”
25. Ask him if he attached his piercings by using a staple gun
26. Hide all of his spare cloaks
27. Use hair gel and flatten his hair
28. When he is in shadow form, stick your hand through him and scream “GHOST!!!”
1. Call him the 4th hokage
2. Attach strong magnets to his face(because he has all of those piercings)
3. Tackle him randomly.
4. Steal his favorite office chair
5. Poke him repeatedly.
6. Force Pein to sit down and eat dinner with you, if he is not eating (or you're somehow still alive) put a strong magnet under the table and watch his face slam onto the table (and into his plate) and get a faceful of his dinner.
7. Ask Pein why he looks like a porcupine. {submitted by meowmeowghs}
8. Ask him if he likes being a human pincushion
9. Laugh every time he tries to talk
10. Yell complete nonsense at him
11. Ask him why his eyes look like bull’s eye targets
12. Call his other bodies girly
13. Give him a lot of fake paperwork and watch him struggle
14. Stare at the piercings on his bottom lip than scream “VAMPIRE!!!!”
15. Follow him around the hideout all day and when he asks what you are doing, say that you are playing “Follow the leader”
16. Pat him on the head like you do a puppy
17. Call him fluffy
18. Put him and Hidan (when he is in a very foul mood) in the same room.
19. Call him carrot-top
20. Set up a whoopy-cushin in his chair, then laugh at him as he sits on it
21. Make him think that someone is hitting on Konan
22. Blow confetti in his face on his birthday
23. Build up static electricity and shock him on his piercings
24. Poke his hair and when he asks you why you are doing it say “I’m seeing if it is alive.”
25. Ask him if he attached his piercings by using a staple gun
26. Hide all of his spare cloaks
27. Use hair gel and flatten his hair
28. When he is in shadow form, stick your hand through him and scream “GHOST!!!”
Zetsu
1. Hang a bag of flies over his head
2. Secretly feed him plant food
3. Spray him with weed killer
4. Threaten him with hedge clippers
5. Attack him with soap
6. water Zetsu as if here were a potted plant
7. Chase Zetsu around with a stalk of broccoli and call him a cannibal or vegetarian.
8. Inform Zetsu that he can't eat anymore human until he eats his vegetables.
9. Call him an overgrown weed
10. Act like you are talking to one of his halfs but ignore the other one
11. Make him eat nothing but vegetables for a whole day
12. Ask him why he likes wearing so much face paint
13. During winter, stuff the plant part of his head with snow
14. Trick Zetsu into thinking a piece of Styrofoam is a piece of meat(and run away before he notices)
15. Put him and Hidan in the same room(while giving Hidan lots of weed killer) and watch the fun begin!(Zetsu: “ahhhhhh get that stuff away from me” Hidan: “Come back here and take it like a man!!!”)
16. Put plant eating bugs in his bed
17. Use him for next years Christmas tree
18. Dig a hole and bury him neck-deep in dirt
19. Use fertilizer on him(fresh fertilizer)
20. Turn down the temperature of his room to freezing
21. Call him a tree hugger
22. Threaten him with fire
23. Secretly set fire to his favorite plants (if he finds out blame it on hidan)
24. Call him bipolar
25. See if he is ticklish
26. Ask him if he pollinates every spring
27. Drag him to the gardener to get a little trim off the top(like if someone gets a hair cut)
28. Ban him from his greenhouse
29. Get Deidara to blow up his room(then watch as Deidara gets chased by a very mad Zetsu)
30. Draw pink flowers on him when he is sleeping and videotape his reaction in the morning
Kisame
1. Speak of Shark fin soup in front of him
2. Use his Samahada to grate cheese
3. Nickname him the fish-man
4. Whenever Kisame eats some kind of seafood, scream, "Cannibal"
5. follow him around (secretively) and hum the Jaws theme song
6. Ask him why he is so blue over and over
7. Hide his Samahada
8. Scream when you see his “gills” and quickly dump a bucket of water on him
9. Every time he comes into the room, jump and scream, "SHARK!!! EVERYONE OUT!!" and push all the Akatsuki members out of the room
10. Put him and Zetsu (when he is very hungry) in the same room and lock the door
11. Hide behind the door when he starts banging on the door screaming, and shout “Play nice you two.” (Kisame: “Why would I play nice with someone who wants me for lunch???” ...Starts running again to get away from the drooling plant man “Om nom nom!”)
12. Whenever he begins to talk keep saying fish- man repeatly and only stop if he stops talking but start again if he begins talking again
13. Make fishy faces at him behind his back
14. When it comes time for dinner and he steps into the room asking “what’s for dinner?” You hold up the frying pan in front of you and start licking your lips hungrily.
15. When he goes blank faced say “Just kidding, we’re having sushi,” then watch as he faints and falls to the floor
16. Go up to him and say “Hey Kisame, guess what I found in the basement? You’re old baby crib.” Then hold up a fish bowl.
17. Try to catch Kisame using fish bait and a fishing pole
18. Put him on a vegetarian diet for a week and make him watch the other Akatsuki eat normally
19. Strap him to the wall (with his eyes taped open) as you eat sushi in front of him
20. Remind him that he scares away possible fangirls (even thou that is not true!!!)
21. Forbid him from using the pool
22. Put a bunch of “ocean breeze” fragrances around his room and when he asks why you did it you say, “I thought it would remind you of home.”
23. Make him watch nothing but seafood cooking shows for 24 hours and watch him faint every time they gut a fish.
24. Poke him in the back and when he asks why you are poking him, say that you are seeing if he has a fin on his back
25. Wake him up in the morning by shouting “SUSHI ATTACK!!!!!!!!!!!!”
26. After he faints from #15 or #23, drag him into a room with a lot of sharp knifes and close the door and then listen as he starts screaming bloody murder when he wakes up
27. Replace all of his cloths with pink cloths and watch as he walks around the hideout wearing a pink shirt and miniskirt while the other Akatsuki members snicker and laugh their butts off(in Hidan’s case)
28. Watch in great amusement as he chases said Hidan around the hideout while swinging his sword around like a mad-man
29. Try to tackle him when he is trying to sleep on the couch
30. Call him an over-sized goldfish
Itachi
1. Wake him up at 3:00 in the morning by screaming “pop goes the weasel”
2. Poke him
3. Get him a pet weasel for his birthday
4. Steal his nail polish and tell him orochimaru has it
5. Invite Sasuke to dinner and make a rule no fighting and make them sit by each other.
6. Stare at him for no reason
7. Hug him.
8. Give him a wrinkle reducer cream
9. Ask him if he is going blind
10. After every sentence he makes, you repeat it in a whisper.
11. Tie him and Sasuke up after disabling their Sharingan and put them in a room together.
12. Compare him to Orochimaru
13. Tell Tobi to braid Itachi's hair when he's asleep.
14. Shout something completely random when he is not talking
15. Squeal every time he does talk
16. Make fun of his name and call him weasel boy (how annoyingly classic is that!-_-)
17. Act like your about to poke him but then stop really fast and say I'm not touching you.
18. Ask him why his eyes are so bloodshot
19. Put him and Deidara (when he is in a very explosive mood) in the same room
20. Call him cute
21. Follow him around for a whole day while giggling when his back is turned
22. Keep asking Why over and over
23. Threaten him with makeup
24. When in town and you find a pretty pink dress, go up to him and show it to him saying “You would look good in this don’t you think”
25. Ask him if he really is 20 because he looks around 40 with those wrinkles
26. Steal his shampoo
27. On purpose mistake him for a girl
28. Whenever he says no to something, stick your tongue at him
29. Replace all of his socks with molted snake skins (at this blame Orochimaru)
30. Scream out complete nonsense when he is trying to read.
Deidei
1. Hide his clay
2. Ask him if he talks to his hand mouths(or kisses them)
3. After #2 if he blushes, take a picture
4. Call him a girl
5. Constantly ask him why he says un after every sentence
6. Put him and Tobi(when he is on an extreme sugar high) in the same room
7. Poking Deidara with a paintbrush and telling him it's art {submitted by meowmeowghs}
8. Hide all of his hair ties
9. Replace his shampoo with pink dye
10. Hide his eye camera and tell him Tobi has it
11. In the middle of the night, fill a paper bag with air. Walk over to his bed, place the bag next to his ear, and pop it.
13. Hug him every five minutes
14. Telling him his art is not art or that he doesn't know what real art is
15. Start saying un and yeah after every sentence you say in his presence
16. Put his hair in pig-tails when he is asleep
17. After #16, when he wakes up, videotape his reaction.
18. Tell Tobi that Deidara needs some company tonight and tell him to sleep next to Deidara when he is sleeping.
19. After #18, In the morning watch Deidara’s reaction when he finds out Tobi is in his bed.
20. Paint little pink hearts on his sculptures
21. Hand-cuff him to Sasori
22. Wake him up in the morning by dumping a bucket of ice-cold water on him
23. Ask him if he uses the men’s or the women’s Restroom
24. Forbid him from blowing anything up
25. Compare him to Itachi
26. Tape both his hand mouths shut while he is sleeping
27. Give him a pink laced dress for his birthday
28. Replace his clay with Play-do
29. Repeatly ask him stupid questions
30. Hide behind something when he comes by and shout “Boo” at the top of your lungs when he passes by
Akatsuki
1. Throw Sasori’s puppets in the fireplace and claim that you couldn’t find any firewood.
2. Talk in third person like Tobi and when someone questions you about it, speak normal and deny it ever happened.
3. Stare at the wall during an Akatsuki meeting. At the last five minutes of the meeting, state loudly to Pein, Madara, or whoever is speaking that you weren’t paying attention and that they need to repeat the whole thing.
4. Start singing “Dude Looks Like A Lady” every time Deidara walks in the room.
5. Replace Deidara’s clay with regular play-dough.
6. Paint Hidan’s room pink and cover it with fairy stickers. Pay for it with Kakuzu’s money.
7. Walk around wearing 3-D glasses and scream every time one of the Akatsuki reaches out towards you.
8. Pour clear liquid soap all over the hallway leading to the kitchen or dining area and watch what happens.
9. Tell Deidara that Hidan said he was gay. Tell Hidan that Deidara said he was a pansy. See which one attacks the other first.
10. Ask Zetsu if he has any weed killer and/or a weed hacker.
11. Put laxatives in all their food.
12. Walk up to Hidan in front of the entire Akatsuki with your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth and thank him for letting you use his toothbrush; see what he does.
13. Tell Pein to keep his eyes open to practice throwing kunai at a target.
14. Take out the screws in Pein’s chair before a meeting and see what happens.
15. Interrupt an important meeting and drag Pein out to come watch paint dry with you.
16. Stab Hidan in the back when he isn’t looking and say Tobi did it.
17. Fling rubber bands at Madara when he isn’t looking.
18. Open a brand new cup of instant ramen in front of Kakuzu, eat one noodle, and then throw it away. See what he does.
19. When all the Akatsuki are standing in a line, shove the one at the end of the line and watch the domino effect take place.
20. Break all the windows and tell Pein that birds did it.
21. Demand to know if the real reason Orochimaru was kicked out of Akatsuki was because of the pictures of Sasuke in his bedroom.
22. Tell Hidan you’re writing a book called How to Kill Someone Without Trying. Ask him how it feels to do that everyday with his face.
23. Yell loudly that you the know the real reason why Sasori keeps so many puppets in his room.
24. Fire Deidara’s clay in an oven and see if it blows up.
25. Shave you legs in the kitchen sink while they’re all eating.
26. Ask Kisame if his mother tried to eat him when he was a baby. When he looks confused or says no, say that you thought sharks ate their babies.
27. Put Hidan’s stuff in Deidara’s room and vice versa. See how long it takes them to figure it out.
28. Put spiders in Deidara’s bed before he goes to bed and see if he screams.
29. Superglue money to the floor in Kakuzu’s room. See how many times he tries to get it.
30. Freeze rocks in water bottles. Put them in random Akatsuki members’ bags.
31. Steal one of Sasori’s puppets and use ventriloquism to talk through it until Sasori notices.
32. Steal Deidara’s scope and hide it in one of Sasori’s puppets.
33. While Sasori is away on a mission, tell Kakuzu that he gave you permission to sell the puppets in his room for money.
34. Tell Hidan that his God visited you in a dream and that Jashin-sama wants him to do your laundry; see what he does.
35. Cut off Deidara’s ponytail and haul ass outta there.
36. Blow up all the toilets in the base and blame it on Deidara.
37. Set off all the fire safety sprinklers while the Akatsuki are asleep and watch the chaos unfold.
38. Hide Hidan’s Jashin pendant in a bible.
39. While Kakuzu is counting his money, shout random numbers to make him lose his place.
40. Fill Pein’s room with hundreds of magnets and claim that you forgot his piercings were metal.
41. Exclaim loudly that Itachi’s kitten, Mr. Cuddlemuffin , is kawaii.
42. Ask Konan to make origami flowers. Superglue them to Zetsu’s Venus Flytrap shell.
43. Ask Zetsu if he eats plants too since he’s a cannibal. If Zetsu says no, suddenly yell, “Oh yah! I forgot! Plants use photosynthesis!”
44. Give Hidan a sealed scroll filled with drawings of bunnies and say that Pein wants him to deliver it to Konoha and to leave immediately. Claim that Pein ordered him not to open it until he reached the Konoha boarder and see how long it takes him to come back.
45. Ask Pein if Jiraiya modeled the Icha Icha books after him since he was his student.
46. Whenever Deidara reaches out to you, run away screaming, “RAPE!!” When he insists that he wasn’t going to rape you, say that the mouth on his hand ‘looked at you wrong’.
47. Buy Kisame a fish tank and ask if he thinks he could fit in it.
48. Ask Sasori if you can use his arm as a backscratcher.
49. Ask Sasori if he uses a floor buffer to keep himself shiny.
50. Pour water on Zetsu’s head and say that he needs it to grow.
51. Give Zetsu Miracle Grow for his birthday.
52. While standing behind Itachi, sing ‘Pop Goes The Weasel’ in a scary voice while fingering a kunai.
53. Throw a dead fish at Hidan and claim that Kisame’s cousin wanted to meet him.
54. Flood Kisame’s room and ask if it makes him feel closer to home.
55. Give Kisame a dead goldfish in a bag and claim that it’s his blind date.
56. Call Hidan a fatass and refuse to give him food, saying that starving for a month or two to lose weight won’t kill him….
57. Tell Sasori that the grape juice he kept in the vials beside his puppets tasted good.
58. Makes outrageous bets with Kakuzu during a card game and cheat so that he sees it. When he protests, claim that you didn’t say you would play fair and demand the money.
59. Ask Deidara whether he is a boy or a girl. When he answers, say “Damn. Guess I owe Sasori fifty yen.”
60. Tell Konan that you saw Tobi sneaking into her room with a pair of scissors and see what she does.
61. Play with the air conditioning controls so that it’s freezing cold in some of the Akatsuki members’ rooms and boiling in others.
62. Ask leader why he is a ghost, and if he say 'I'm not a ghost' then stick your hand through his chest and scream, 'OMG LEADER IS DEAD!!!!' and begin to cry uncontrollibly.
63. Start saying 'UN' after everything you say.
64. Tell Hidan that he should go to sunday school
65. Super glue a coin to the floor and see how long it takes Kakuzu to get it.
66. Flick holy water at Hidan yelling, "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!!"
67. Use Deidara's clay to blow up the hide out, blame it on Deidara.
68. Give Kisame a fish tank for Christmas and ask him if it's the right size for him.
69. When someone is eating a salad go over and throw it away from them crying, "HOW COULD YOU EAT ZETSU'S FAMILY!!"
70. When sitting down, if Kisame is coming begin the jaws theme and as he gets closer get louder and louder and when he looks over point at anyone else that’s in the room, if no one else is in the room, point at him.
71. Put all of Sasoris puppets in to dresses.
72. Go up to Deidara hug him and yell, "INO! LONG TIME NO SEE!"
73. Dye Hidan’s hair bright pink and tell him Jashin-sama came in to your dream and told you to do it
74. Replace all their cloaks with frilly pink dresses. When they ask you where the cloaks went tell them Kakuzu gave them to charity.
75. Tell Tobi he’s a bad boy.
76. After you've done ALL of these things, show them this list.