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when??

*sigh* i hope theO will put more resolution options ;-;, i want to make some of the wallpaper here as my desktop wallpaper but they don't have the available resolution. my laptop's resolution is 1366x768 (which is really weird for me also) and i don't want to just crop the wallpaper, that will be unfair...

50 things about me

1.LOVER OR A FIGHTER?:
50:50

2.WHAT’S YOUR WORST FEAR?:
The CROWD

3.AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO BUILDER?:
Nah… I prefered watching other kids play

4.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF “REALITY TV”?:
Somewhat unbelievable

5.DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?:
nope, never did that

6.WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?:
errrrr… no comment

7.HOW IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?:
the best!

8.WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?:
black, that's why when I don't switch on the light I barely see what I'm typing
9.DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?:
yeah then my younger sister will knock and shout "I don't have any umbrella!"
XD

10.HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?:
nope and I don't want to

11.ANY SECRET TALENTS?:
I haven’t thought of that

12.WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?:
In a mansion deep inside the forest and then a lot of chocolates as deserts :3

13.HAVE YOU EATEN SUSHI?:
Yup!

14.CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?:
*singing it backwards but fails* I rather sing it the normal way XD

15.HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?:
yup and I hate it because riding a plane means having a jetlog afterwards

16.WHAT’S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?:
It’s okay, as long as they don’t hunt me

17.DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?:
yeah

18.WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?:
chicken in a soup and cornstarch baby powder

19.WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, “I LOVE YOU”:
last night?

20.IS TUPAC STILL ALIVE?:
who is tupac?

21.DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?:
nah…

22.WHAT TIME IS IT?:
8:32PM

23.DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?:
Yeah. But on theO members call me yann, yann-chan, yann-san

24.IS MCDONALD’S DISGUSTING?:
Err… I just don’t like the burgers

25.WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?:
yesterday

26.DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?:
both. bath is good when you have many time, so relaxing and then shower if you're rushing XD

27.IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL?:
ehh…

28.ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?:
no

29.WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?:
chocolates

30.CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?:
both

31.HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?:
no and don’t want to be

32.ARE YOU WEARING SOCKS?:
Nope, it’s still summer

33.WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?:
Dark brown

34.WHEN’S THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
Long time ago... Can’t really remember

35.DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?:
Yeah…but it will be better if I can have all what I want >.<

36.WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?:
Hmmmmmmmm……

37.ARE YOU PSYCHIC?:
No, but I admire those people who are one

38.HAVE YOU READ “CATCHER IN THE RYE”?:
Eh?

39.DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?:
Yeah but not anymore, can't really bring them so I left them on my mother's care...
40.CAN YOU SKATEBOARD?:
Oh no o.o…

41.DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?:
Not really…hate mosquitos

42.DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?:
XD nope

43.DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?:
Well sometimes

44.IS A DOG A MAN’S BEST FRIEND?:
yeah :)

45.WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?:
Filipino dish

46.DO YOU WEAR NAILPOLISH?:
nope

47.DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?:
*points* My avi >///<

48.WHAT’S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?:
Political thingies, really don't care about those =_=

49.DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?:
yeah

50.FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?:
have a lot x3

*sigh* finally I finished one of this. I saw many people making meme but I'm really lazy to type XD...
Those are just few things about me :)

...

decided to post the craps i did out of boredom =_=... i don't know if it's a good idea or not (don't eve know if someone will read those). Also did this so that if I need them I will not make the bedroom a trash when I'm looking for them XD.

O.O

when i'm randomly searching for some images on e-shuushuu.net, i'm surprised to see one of my wallpapers O.O


here

A Sad Goodbye

[Saw this on my very old blog and read it again (almost made me cry ;___; again]

21st March 1973

Hi, there. I’m Kaoru Nakamura. I’ll just call myself Kaoru. To anyone who had found this journal, please spread the story in it to any best friends who are having a conflict right now or then.

I have a best friend. Her name is Kouru Masamoto and I call her Kouru. Our names were almost the same. It is just the spelling which made the difference. I love this friend of mine very much even though we are very different in common. As an example, I’m a perfect girl whereas Kouru was a bit of a tomboy and loves brutality. However, she is still a kind and helpful friend who understands my feelings even though she bullies me a lot.

The both of us were as thick as thieves. There was never a single problem in between the two of us. Not until one day…

A new boy came into our university and eventually, I fell in love with him. We started dating and my dear friend Kouru was deserted. I had never realized how sad she felt even though she has other companions around her. I thought it was okay to do what I’ve done until one day, she asked me a question.

“Say… Kaoru… err… How’s the kid? Umm… I mean the guy you’re dating with… Is he okay?” she asked, stammering.

“Don’t worry, Kouru. He’s okay,” I answered. “Why… this is the first time you asked about him haven’t you?”

“Err… Yeah,” she answered back. “It’s just that… I’m sort of… worried about you.”

“Aww… You don’t have to be that way,” I said. Then, I kissed her cheek. “I’ll be okay as long as I’m with my beloved Shinta (my boyfriend). Okay?”

She nods her head and asked me to hurry before I’m late for my date. On that moment I thought she really doesn’t care about my ignorance towards her but I was wrong. Dead wrong.

3rd July 1973

It is already three months and twenty-one days since I started ignoring my friend, Kouru. The power of passionate love (Writer: Yuck!!) had over powered me. The true love from Shinta made me forgot about the world around me. It even affects my grades where it increases rapidly instead of decreasing. Well, Shinta is not like the other guys which only wanted women for fun. But, he wanted me to pay attention in class and be successful. I think this was what made me attracted to him like crazy. I thought it is okay to leave Kouru all alone until one day…

One day, I received news from one of Kouru’s friends telling that she’s sick. I felt sympathetic and asked Shinta to come together with me to pay her a visit. As I reached into her house, I met up with her adopted mother(Kouru was an orphan) and told her my intentions. I was invited into the house with a friendly manner and was brought to her room. I entered the room alone and it was jet black inside.

“Kouru?” I called out to her. There was no response. I feel about for the switches and found it at last. I saw her, sitting on her bed with a little penknife at her right hand that was directed to her left arm. I was extremely surprised and quickly snatched the penknife before she really cuts herself.

“What the heck are you trying to do!?” I asked, scolding her. “If you cut that part of your arm, you’ll die, you know.”

She kept quiet and stares at me with rebellious eyes. She stood up and pushed me away.

“Who are you!?” she asked hysterically. “I don’t know you!? Get out!!!”

“Kouru!” I cried. “It’s me, Kaoru. Your best friend! Argh! What is wrong with you!?” I asked, trying to dodge away from the things she threw.

“GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, BETRAYER!!!!” she screamed.

I was quite surprised to hear what she had said when suddenly a hand pulls me out of the room. It was Kouru’s mother and she persuades me to go home first as Kouru is not in a very good condition. I forced myself to listen to her and dragged my feet home together with my loyal Shinta by my side.

13th October 1973

Today, I went out on an errand with Shinta. It was a day full of crowds and the streets were full of people as it was Saturday. I tried my best to dodge from the people passing by. I felt lucky as Shinta is holding on to my hand tightly to keep me in guide. I just felt sad as Kouru is not the one who is holding it as usual.

I reached home as usual and went to the kitchen to put down the groceries I had just bought. My mother asked me to go into my room instantly and I wondered why. In my room, I discovered Kouru, lying on my bed. She saw me and stood up quickly. She suddenly hugged me and whispered into my ear, “I don’t wanna be your friend anymore.”

She then walks out of my room towards the house entrance and left. I sat down in the condition of surprised and cried. “Why?” I thought. “Why? What have I done!?”

14th October 1973

I ran into her today. She apparently ignored me. I felt so sad. I don’t know what to do. So, decided to ask an advice from Shinta. He told me that he’s also feeling guilty because he had been the reason of the alienation between me and Kouru. He said that the both of us have to apologize to her. I agreed and we set up a time to meet her…. But, unfortunately, something unexpected happened on that day…

17th October 1973

I was waiting for Kouru to meet up with us on 8.00pm that night. She was ten minutes late and reached us with her body drenched with sweat.

“Quick!” she said. “There’s no time to talk. We’re in danger!”

She dragged me and Shinta to the university’s clock tower. “It’s like this,” she started explaining. “There is a gang of bad guys searching for you and this boy of yours. I bet they might be among the men you had let down and I think that they are jealous about your relationship. They told me that they wanted to kill the both of you!”

“You’ve got to be serious, Kouru,” said Shinta. “This is no fun.”

“Why the heck should I lie to the two of you?” she cried. “By the way, it was you who took Kaoru from me. So, YOU are the evil villain here.”

“Why you…!”

Then, suddenly the gangsters entered the clock tower and without any warning, Kouru attacked them. I gasped in horror, seeing the violence happening in front of me. It was too unbearable to be watched, especially when your own best friend is the victim.

Kouru had defeated almost all of them except one. She seemed to have a little problem fighting with him, maybe because she’s already tired. Shinta and I weren’t able to do anything as she had threat us. But, when she almost falls of the tower, Shinta started to get into action. He hit the gangster at the neck and made him faint but, it was too late for him to grab Kouru’s clinging hand as she had slipped because of the pouring rain. We gasped in horror and rushed down to inspect her condition.

We reached the last flight of stairs and rushed outside into the rain. Then, there I sawher, lying down, lifeless. There was blood everywhere.

“KOURU!!!!” I shout out of grief. I ran to her side and clutched her. “KOURU! KOURU!!!!!”

I looked into her face and saw her eyes slowly opening.

“Kouru!?” I called out to her. She smiled and touched my face.

“Quite a terrible way to commit suicide, huh?” she said, weakly.

“Commit suicide!?” I asked, demandingly. “What do you mean by that!?”

“Hmph… I’m just kidding,” she answered weakly. “Don’t be too naive.”

I felt my eyes watering. “Kouru,” I said. “Both Shinta and I wanted to apologize for our feeling less act. He’s sorry for bringing the alienation between the two of us and I… I’m sorry… for ignoring you. I’m so sorry. We’re so sorry. Please forgive us.”

She smiled again pulled my face slowly to hers. She, then kissed my forehead and said, “It’s okay. I had long forgiven you both. It’s just that…” she reached for Shinta’s hand and attached it to mine’s. She then, continued. “It’s just that I want the both of you to be together… Forever… Shinta, look after her properly, please.”

“Mark my words, Kouru,” Shinta answered. “I’ll never leave her side.”

“I’m glad to hear that…” she said. She looked into the sky and smiled.

“I finally get to meet with you guys again,” she said in a low, almost unheard voice.It seemed like she is not talking to us, but she’s talking to the ‘thing’ she’s seeing in the sky. She held out her hand to the sky and her breath sounded like it’s getting out of her body. She then, died in my clutches, peacefully, smiling.

18th October 1973

After attending Kouru’s funeral, I returned home. However, I still regretted the wrong I had done. I cried as much as I can and in my heart, I prayed for her spirit’s peace.