Grrrr.... Today....
It's been UPS and DOWNS all day! Be prepared for a rant, guys! I just need to vent.
This is the moment where you decide if you'd like to continue reading this or not. If not, that's fine. I understand. I just need to get it all out.
The day started beautifully! Not!
Took forever to wake up... damn sugars were high (what else is new?) and I was slightly irate. So, I decided I'd go see some friends at school for lunch, but the people I'd intended to see were gone for a band thing. That was all fine and well, plus I got to see my kohai. I love them, really. But, it just wasn't the same, ya know? Well, I said g'bye to them and ended up driving over to Dillard's to apply for a job there. Wouldn't it be great if Yosei were selling shoes?!?! :O
Anyhoo, as I was leaving, these two girls who were maybe a year younger than me looked at me kinda strangely. Now, I get that a lot. I've had people stare at me before for the way I look or something, but this was just different.
For one, I was dressed NORMALLY! Most times ppl stare is because of my wardrobe. But, today I dressed like a normal teen- nice pants, tidy shirt, no black. And STILL! They stared! I don't know why I'm so hung up on this, but I am...
Then, I had to come home and I discovered my pump was almost out of insulin... and there was no more refills left in the 'fridge... so I had to call my mom to pick some up on the way home... and starved! AGH! We had, like, NO meat to eat! And... cheese was just unappetizing at the time... We need more carbless food in the house... eggs or something.
Then, I get the okay (basically) to go to a friend's concert tomorrow night. I was THRILLED! I wanted to go sooooooo bad!
Then, the unthinkable happens... I can't go.
My neighbor needs me to babysit his kid tomorrow night. It has to be me because my sister has a volleyball game (which her doctor pretty much said she shouldn't be doing with her terrible knees) and no one else is able to! I mean COME ON! Dude, go party with your pals the NEXT night! Why does it have to be on the ONE weeknight I get to see my friends?! Now I gotta wait to see 'em 'til this weekend... I dunno, it just bummed me. I'm starved for attention from my friends. It's not that we avoid each other, it's that our schedules all seem to clash terribly and we miss a lot of each other as of late. I feel lonely, that's all.
Plus, the kid I'm watching is really... wild... and the house is... well, I CLEAN IT EVERYTIME I GO OVER THERE! The dad drinks a lot and leaves his cans and bottles all over the place. Once I went over there and there was food from three nights previous still out on the counter. Plus, week-old food in the fridge still in the pan it was cooked in. I mean, don't get me wrong. The kid is well-taken care of. She's happy and the dad is really a good father, but they live like... well, pigs. No offense to them or anyone, it's just... yeah...
Well, at least I get paid.
And I got to change my pump today.
And I showered this evening.
I plan to FINALLY see my friends on Thursday, perhaps. I hope. I'm lonely! TT^TT
I'm home alone all day and no one is hiring, no matter WHERE I apply, and I'm out of ideas as to what to draw! I've got no inspiration because I feel so lost without any real human contact! *heavy sigh* This may progress into depression... I'd better call Angelo tomorrow and see what he can do... if he can make time to visit. He should be able to.... I hope... Wish me luck! *crawls in bed to cry and sulk in self-pity*
I'll be okay. I just need to hear a voice other than my mother and father fighting and my sister acting like she's better than me, then my mom standing up for me... I'd stand up for myself, but when I do it just gets worse and my parents don't like me "confronting" family members. *rolls eyes* Weird, I know, but GAWD!
Anyway... this has been a Yosei rant...
Now, leave me to my sulking. I'll feel better tomorrow, mes amies!
Sorry for the SUPER long post... again.
~Yosei~
