1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.
I don't know what would be my favorite movie. Let alone one where I'd be able to remember the first time ever seeing it.
The one I can think of right now is Star Trek into Darkness. And the only reason I can remember that is because during the whole movie, I was bawling because Joe had broken up with me.
2: Talk about your first kiss.
Oh man. I was 18. Was seeing this guy. We had just finished playing Super Mario Smash Brothers on the Wii, and he was walking me out to my car. After giving me a hug, he leaned down and kissed me. Simple as that.
3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.
Joe.
I had built these walls to keep out emotions for a long time. Unconsciously. It was better that way because then no one could hurt me. I never wanted to let a guy have the power to make me cry. And Up until him, I had the control. I wore the pants in the relationship so to speak. What I wanted to do, we did. But with Joe, I wasn't in control. I never knew what would happen. He broke down every wall I had. He noticed things. Little things about me that no one else noticed. Although he may have hurt me more than anyone ever has or probably ever will, I can set that all aside when he makes me happy, because no one other than him can make me that happy. My body images issues went away for the most part. I gained confidence because of him. For the first time in my life, when I'm around him, I don't wish I'm anyone else. I want to be the best person I can be, and I believe that he brings it out of me.
4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.
I try not to look back on any of the mistakes of my life and talk about regrets. Yes, there are times I wish I would have done this instead of that, but if I hadn't, I wouldn't be here. And I like where I am. So, I don't have anything to talk about.
5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.
All of my birthdays have been pretty awesome. Usually because they are always filled with friends and family. That's all I could ever want or need.
6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.
I haven't had a bad birthday.
7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.
My body is usually my biggest insecurity.
But, right now, it's actually that I'm not very smart. I mean, I dropped out of college because I couldn't make the grades. And I was dating a fucking genius. Joe is so smart, has 5 degrees, knows every little trivia question, and can just pull random facts from out of nowhere. And I can't do that. I'm stuck always being the learner, and then chances are, I won't always remember it. I had that I feel inferior.
8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.
I am most proud of myself for changing who I was into who I am. It was a long and difficult journey. A journey that will never end because I'm always changing. I'm always wanting to be better and do better things. I am proud that I stick up for what I believe in. I have a motto: Be the change you hope to see in the world. And that's what I live by.
I'm proud of myself for having gone through all that I have, seen all that I have, and still I can find so many more reasons to smile than not. And I want to help people. I want to help them do what I did. I want people to be happy with who they are and to accept those around them for being different.
9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.
I love my forearms and wrists and hands. They're just so small and cute to me. I love my shoulders because you can feel the muscles in them. And my back is toned. I love my waist and hips and boobs. I like how my legs look in short skirts or dresses.
10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.
Probably one my brother and I had years ago. He was calling our dad names, and then calling our youngest brother names, and I had had enough. I went to push him on his shoulders, but he shifted and I ended up kind of hitting him in the throat, which he thought I did on purpose, and just attacked me. It was one of the worst fights we've ever had.
11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had.
Probably one in which I was married to a guy named Martin, but I never saw what he looked like. All I know is that we had a daughter together.
12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.
I had a dream that played on every insecurity I have. Even ones I hadn't thought about in awhile. Brought them all to the surface, and I had to fight them all down when I woke up.
13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.
Joe and I had been fooling around for the majority of the week, and one time, in the middle of fondling, while I was on top of him, he put it in. He was very gentle and went slow for me. And, since I'd never done it before, I was pretty awkward about the whole thing, but he just smiled me and taught me what to do.
14: Talk about a vacation.
We went, as a family, down to Kansas City to Worlds of Fun/Oceans of Fun. The first family vacation we'd ever taken. It was a blast. I remember at Oceans of Fun, they had a jungle gym type thing aimed at the younger kids. The thing that has the giant bucket that fills with water and then dumps over the entire area. But, my dad, my two brothers, and I were all running around and playing on it. We'd never seen our dad like that before. It was amazing.
15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.
Probably earlier this year when I had everything I ever wanted in life. I was dating Joe, hanging out with all of my friends, the decision not to be in school anymore was finalized, and I had a nice job.
16: Talk about the best party you've ever been to.
Probably the one a few weeks back where I took a shower with another girl. That was fun.
17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.
Everyone I want to be friends with is my friend.
18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.
I remember, in the second grade?, my best friend and I wanted boyfriends, so we held try-outs. We had like 5 guys show up, and we made them run obstacle courses. Whoever won would be our boyfriends.
19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.
I didn't have a middle school...
20: Talk about something that happened in high school.
Ok, so I 'dated' this guy from like 4th grade through 6th grade. On and off again type of thing. And he moved away when we went to the 7th grade. He came back when we were seniors and wrote me a love letter, but instead of giving it to me, he gave it to my best friend, and she called me while I was at a basketball game and read it to me over the phone. He just talked about how he missed me and gave me his number for me to call him sometime so we could hang out.
21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.
Working at the bank, I had a lot of people hit on me and ask me out. I had to turn down a lot of people.
22: Talk about your worst fear.
Snakes and needles. Terrify the fuck out of me.
23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.
Junior high. I had this massive crush on this boy in my class and had my friends ask him out for me numerous times, and he always turned them down. Didn't want to date me.
24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.
When I was a freshman in college, my roommate told me she thought my body was what average women should look like. What she wished she looked like. Changed me whole perspective about myself.
25: Talk about an ex-best friend.
We had a similar personality, but she was a sheltered child and didn't always understand how the world works. We fought a lot of the time, but I always thought we were pretty close. Apparently, not.
26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.
Sleep. Be on my computer.
27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.
Emily's: I love her smile, and how, when you get her laughing, her smile reaches her eyes. It's the most beautiful thing ever.
Ana: I love her hips. They're just so proportionate and curvy. Love it!
Joe: I love his lower hips. They're my favorite place to touch.
28: Talk about your fetishes.
I like being tied up and being dominated.
29: Talk about what turns you on.
Pretty much everything. Touching me is the easiest way. Intelligence and an athletic body is a huge turn on. If you can talk to me about sports, you like to have deep, meaningful conversations, and can text in full, complete sentences.
30: Talk about what turns you off.
Ignorant people, people who can't take a hint, people who talk things they want to be different but don't do anything to change.
31: Talk about what you think death is like.
I believe death is dark. And you're either put in purgatory or heaven or hell. But, a part of me thinks it'd be cool if you could be reincarnated.
32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.
My grandma's house. I remember I got along well with one of her neighbor's kids, but she moved away after a summer, and I've never seen her since.
33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.
Depends on how sad. Usually, I just deal with it and move on.
34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.
Tearing my ACL was pretty painful, but so was crushing my feet in the skid-loader.... Not sure which is worse.
35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.
I wish I could stop seeing Joe and doing every little thing he wishes.
36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.
Joe is my guilty pleasure. So is watching the vampire diaries.
37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.
Jozef, my first boyfriend, was someone I thought I was in love with. It was only after he broke up with me that I realized I wasn't. I loved him like a best friend. No more or less.
38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.
Hard to Love Reminds me of Joe
Hello Seattle (Remix) Reminds me of Ana
Journey songs remind me of my parents.
39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.
I wish I would have known in high school that you should just do what makes you most happy and fuck what everyone else says. As soon as you graduate, it won't matter. College is a clean slate. You can be whoever you want.
40: Talk about the end of something in your life.
The end of college was a hard decision that took months of consideration before I could finally do it. I felt like I was letting everyone around me down by giving up. I was afraid of how others, when I told them, would see me. I had an image back home to uphold. I was the good kid, the smart kid, the responsible one. Would either one of those drop out of college? Yes. I did. And that's okay.
