drew's amazing.
andmybestfriend.
what kind of girl would be so obsessed with you me at six and all time low?
that'd be me. i'm that girl. jessica's the name, and lying is the game. but lying's not always the game, i didn't lie about my obsession right there. i am obsessed with atl and youmeatsix. i can name all of all time low's song just by hearing it, and i know most of the songs from you me at six.
oh my. here i am trying to "wow" you with some decent first impression and already you think of me as some lying band obsessed teenager. well, you must know there is more to me then that.
like my swagger. and my legit-ness. it's pretty ghetto crazy.
if you're anybody who knows anything, then you'll know i have a mild case of heffaphobia? halfaphobia? i don't know. but i do know i have an irrational fear of being touched. well, i wouldn't say it's irrational. i'd like to think it's rational. as rational as can be. either way, do not, under any circumstances enter my little bubble. i freak the fuck out. ask anybody who's anybody.
that's not always the case. if i'm comfortable enough with you or i'm just comfortable that day, i won't mind. with some i'm comfortable around them all the time, with others it's an on and off thing.
another thing about me; i'm always smiling. well, at least eighty percent of the time. if i smiled one hundred percent of the time, my jaw would need some serious work.
now, i'm not saying that i'm a saint or anything, because i can assure you i am most definitely not even remotely close to being a saint. i've been called a bitch far too many times, i've already lost track. i've lied so many times in my life, i couldn't tell you what was the truth if it was standing right in front of me. i've been grounded because of my anger issues and my attitude. i swear far too much for a girl my age, and sometimes my parents are ashamed of me.
but i'm alright with that.
now if you really know me, you'd know i'm also kind of philophobic. i don't know how this has happened, i think it's because of the whole touching thing, i'm so afraid of people getting close to me physically, that my mind has convinced my body that i'm afraid of people getting close emotionally.
that's pretty logical, right?
of course it is. at least, that's what i tell myself.
sure i've had infatuations, but never have i been infatuated enough for a relationship. besides, i'm stressed out enough. i don't need a boyfriend stressing me out too. plus there's the fact that i haven't found the right guy.
no, not "mr. right" because i'm well aware that he won't be coming around like, ever. i'm talking a guy who could handle me and my moodiness. or the fact that i might put myself before anybody else sometimes. that i might be a demanding, nagging, bitch, but he'll stay long enough to see through that and actually like me because he knows my perks.
yeah. that's gonna happen.
oh, yeah. i'm currently in middle school, and basking in my free health care. which is highly appreciated with all the sprains i've gotten. which leads me to the subject of basketball.
basketball is the whole reason why i have this darn sprained ankle. the same ankle i sprained two times before. once in february again, from basketball, and another time about maybe three years ago from soccer. but basketball is def my favourite sport there is. but that doesn't mean i dislike all the other sports, i'm up for something different.
i like sports. don't hate.
my mind's always in the gutter. and i am not just saying that, because it is exactly as it is. the truth. not it's not exactly eighty year old pedophile dirty, just the whole, oh, yeah, i'm gonna laugh because i can take that sexually. which is pretty much most of the time.
i'm conceited, but i don't consider myself pretty. i haven't met one girl yet who is so self-centered they go around telling people how beautiful they are. i've only ever heard all of my girl friends saying they're 'hideous'. which is far from the truth. so, i'm gonna be one of those annoying girls and tell you i am full on hideous. even if you may think it's a lie, i refuse to depart from denial.
i like denial. it's like a secure, little blanket. you know, one that's so soft and warm you can't help but wrap yourself up with it. and it's pure ecstasy because it's yours and no one else's. and with that blanket you don't have to face the truth. you can convince yourself of anything and everything. it's tainted bliss. your tainted bliss.
but in this case, it's mine.
i'm opinionated and almost always brutally honest, if you ask for my opinion i won't hesitate telling you the truth. if i don't like something, i'll straight up tell you i don't like something. but twenty-five percent of the time i hold it in. not for my sake, of course. i just don't wanna be a bitch all the time. it's a life choice.
i may not say what i really think of you, but i will think it. oh, i will. if you're reading this now, thinking what a terrible human being i must be, think about this. even if you haven't exactly told people off or bitched and moaned about someone behind their back, you're judging me right now. and you hardly even know me.
everybody judges on first impressions. sometimes even appearance alone. i do it, i'm not gonna lie about that. so you can't sit there thinking i'm a complete liar, also everybody's lied. even if it's a small, white lie. a lie is a lie, no matter how much you like to think that it's not.
me. i happen to be a compulsive liar. and i've been one for years, it wasn't until this year that i've admit it.
you've heard about my many flaws. and just like my flaws i have many perks. maybe you'll get to see them one day, maybe you won't. only time will tell.
now continue wondering how i sleep at night.
Sincerely, the most legit bitch there is :]
